Chapter 43

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"Where's Bronx?" Pete repeated and his voice rose a few pitches higher. "I-I don't know" I stuttered and Pete ran out of the shop, I followed him as fast as I could. Running with flat shoes was actually a lot easier. "He can't have gone far, wait, maybe he just went to the bathroom" I said. Pete turned on the spot and his face was pale, he ran back inside the shop and I could hear him cursing under his breath. I waited outside for a few seconds but when Pete came back out, he looked even worse. "He's not in there, he's not anywhere, nobody in there saw him, just one lady who said she saw him going outside but didn't think anything of it because she thought it was fine with us. Who thinks that?"

He was getting more and more upset now and I wanted to calm him down but there was no way he would calm down until we found Bronx. "If he left, why would he do that?" I asked. Pete shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, I have no idea, maybe he got tired of us arguging? But he never did that with me and Ash..." "He was younger, we should've focused on him and not argued, shit..." "We have to look for him" Pete said and jogged out of the alley and into the street. I followed him. "What would he do? Where would he go?" I asked. "I don't know, he could go to Ash's, I think he knows more about the city that we can tell." "Then call her!" "No way, if he's there, she's gonna call me to give out to me for losing him so if she isn't calling me, he isn't there and she doesn't need to know, she'd take me to court and take away all rights to see him from me, I can't risk that." I sighed, looking around. "Would he walk? Take a bus? Where else could he go?" Pete shook his head in desperation, getting more and more tense. "I don't know, I have no idea, I'm starting to feel like I don't know my own son, Ash would know where he went, she would take two seconds to find him only..." I inhaled deeply. "Maybe he went back to the house? Shouldn't we just drive the way to the house, see if he's there or on the way somewhere?" I suggested. Pete bit his lip, looking left and right of the street, unable to keep still. I wanted to keep calm so at least one of us was but I could not keep myself from getting nervous either, my palms were sweaty and my heartbeat was definitely not normal. We had just lost Bronx. "What if he took the bus?" "He hasn't got any money on him, does he?" I asked. "Yeah but any bus driver would just let him get on." "Or ask what he's doing there alone?" "I just don't know where to start looking for him, where could we go?" "Let's just drive down the way to the house and then if he's not anywhere there, I'm afraid we have to ask Ashlee because she will know if he's not there yet. And she can call his friends' parents, you know we have to tell her if we don't find him. His safety goes beyond risking you might lose custody." His breathing was shallow but he nodded. I could see tears forming in his eyes but he didn't blink so they wouldn't spill.

We got into the car and Pete drove down the way that was also the smartest to use while walking but Bronx was nowhere there. We got into the house and Pete called for him, looking everywhere downstairs while I went through all the rooms upstairs but he was not there. The less chances we had of finding him, the more nervous I was getting too. When I met Pete down by the door again, he was actually crying and then said out loud what we were both thinking. "What if he was kidnapped?" I shook my head instantly. "No, he wasn't" I replied. "We don't know that, if he was wandering through the streets all by himself, who knows what happened?!" I shook my head. "No, no, don't think like that, we'll go by Ashlee's and she'll help us and then we'll go the police." "Oh my god, what if that goes out to the press? I'll be done. But that doesn't matter right now, let's go to Ash's, alright?" he asked, fully stressed. "Hey" I said and made him turn back around to me. I cupped his face up into my hands and kissed him for just a second, then locked his eyes. "Don't think about what could've happened, focus on finding him, okay?" I said and he nodded slowly, taking a deep breath.

"Go back to the ice-cream place and drive to Ash's from there, we could catch him on the way, couldn't we?" I suggested when we had gotten back in the car. Pete nodded and did as I said. His hands on the wheel were clenching and he was gritting his teeth and I was wishing I could do something, I was so worried, what if something had actually happened to Bronx? It couldn't have, right? He was smart but at the same time, he was a child. And this kind of stuff happened a lot. But why had he left? I felt awful if our arguing had been the reason, I felt awful anyway for losing him. I just wanted to hug him so everything would be okay again. What kind of consequences would it have if we wouldn't find him?

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