Allegiance **ON HOLD**

Chapter 9

I shot up up in my bed when I heard the loud knock on my door.

"Hey Deanna, are you ok?" Sam asked opening the door. His eyes got when he saw that I wasn't alone. "Dean, really?" He looked at him with a disapproving face.

"What? All I did was sleep." Dean said, annoyed with his brother's jump to a conclusion.

"I asked him to stay with me." I smiled up at Sam. "And yes, I'm feeling much better from last night, thank you."

"Well breakfast is almost ready, you two can come join me if you want."

"We'll be there in a minute," I nodded to Sam as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Good morning sleepy head." I chuckled at Dean as my head fell back onto my pillow.

"You're one to talk." He smiled and messed up my hair. "But good morning to you too." He shot me that gorgeous smile of his.

I heard my stomach growl, thinking of the breakfast that Sam had mentioned. Flipping my legs over the edge of the bed, I began to get up but a hand grabbed my wrist. I looked down to meet Dean's bright green eyes. It's like they can change with whatever mood he is in.

"Stay. Talk with me for a minute." He said as I sat back down onto the bed.

"What was that?" He asked.

"That was me trying to go get breakfast...?" I said like a question, confused.

"You know what I mean. What was last night?" He pushed.

I starred down at my hands. " It was just a bad dream." I tried to brush it off.

"I know bad dreams, I've had plenty in my life time. But that, that one was different. That one was a flashback. What happened?" He asks, moving his hand from my arm to my hand.

"It was really nothing, Dean." This time, I was actively avoiding eye contact as the tears threatened to sneak out of my ducts.

I heard and felt him move on the sheets behind me. An arm wrapped itself around my waist. "Have I given you a reason not to trust me?" Dean whispered in my ear.

A tear won the battle as I turned around to face him. He wiped it away with his thumb. "Talk to me, Dee."

"My family was my everything. When I was little, like baby little, my older sister was killed by something supernatural. It wasn't until I was ten that I found out it was a demon that was using her for some type of sacrifice. That's when we started hunting. My mom, dad, brother and I. Well, more like mom, dad and brother. I was still really young and my mom didn't want me to get hurt.

"Then my mom died. We were on a hunt in Iowa, trying to get rid of a witch when they teamed up with another hunter that was in the area. The son of a bitch used my mom as bait. My dad got there in just enough time to watch the light leave her eyes. That's when he changed. I was completely on lockdown from then on."

I stopped for a minute to let more tears escape my eyes. Dean's other arm wrapped around my body. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"It was another demon hunt when it happened. Why was I so stupid for trying to help? But they had been there for so long, I didn't know what else to do. I tried to find them. I walked through the damn warehouse to find them. And I did. They were so close, they almost had the demon exorcised. But my dad wanted too much from my brother, he couldn't hold them back. All I did was try to save them.."

My face hit my hands as I let the tears fall. I couldn't hold them back, no matter how hard I had tried.

"It's not your fault, Dee. You can't put that on yourself." Dean tried to comfort me.

"But it is on me. My brother died trying to save me after I thought I could save my dad. If it wasn't for me, he'd be alive." I almost shouted back at him. I looked at me with a hint of fear in his eyes.

"But it isn't. Take it from an older brother, I'm sure he'd sacrifice himself for you all over again." He turned me to face him. "That's what I'd do for Sammy. Shit, I have done it for him plenty of times. You can't think that way, it'll kill you." He wiped the hair that had fallen on my face behind my ear.

"I just fear that he hates me." I whispered, sniffling.

"He doesn't hate you." Dean chuckles. "He's probably proud as hell of you. I know I would be." He smiled.

I gave a slight smile and leans into Dean's chest.

"Can I see it?" He asks. I look up at him confused.

"See what?" I ask.

"The tattoo." He says, looking into my eyes. I nodded and turned my body so that he could see the words etched into my skin.

"Death leaves a heartache, no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

"It's beautiful. You're mom, sister and brother would all love it." Dean smiled at me, rubbing his thumb over the ink. I smiled back. "But what about your dad? You never said what happened to him."

My body almost completely stiffened. "He's gone too."