"If only you knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me."
♡♡♡
We spent a couple weeks together and I can say with 100 percent honesty, it was the best week of my life. I couldn't go to sleep without thinking about him. He came into my life and changed everything.
Then he stopped calling. I was confused the first two days and reassured myself that he just needed space. After a week I tried calling him and there was no answer. It went straight to voicemail. I called the next day and still no answer. Each day that passed a hammer chipped off a piece of my heart. I didn't understand. Riley comforted me but, it never stopped the aching feeling in my chest.
Everything had been so amazing for me and I needed some explaination. So I did anything a girl in love would do, I went to his apartment. He rented it for when he came to the city. I took a cab and I was wearing the perfume he said he liked on me. I looked nice, I guess I put more effort in my appearence hoping it could help in some way.
I came to the door and my heart started to beat fast. I hesitated to knock and almost left. A part of me wanted an explanation so so bad so, I knocked. I heard shuffling of feet against the door and then the door opened.
His hair was a mess, he had no shirt on, his eyes were blood shot and what hurt the most was that there was hickeys on his neck and chest. . When he saw me his eyes widened. Almost suprised that I had shown up.
"Madison, why are you here? I figured you would get the hint from me not calling," he said sternly. My heart dropped from what he said and anger rushed through my veins.
Then I heard a voice that sounded like a barbie doll with extra perky say, "Lukey come back to bed." I wanted to kick his family's jewels so bad but I held back.
I stood there like an idiot. My mouth opened and closed while my brain tried to process my thoughts. Luke hollered a hold on and turned to me waiting for a reaction.
" I-I don't understand-" I began but he finished.
" I can't date you. I am traveling the world. It wouldn't work....I would have hurt you sooner than later. Please don't hate me." he said and I could hearthe pain in his voice.
" You don't have to do this." I said close to tears. I would let myself cry in front of him he didn't deserve to see them. "You won't find anything with them," I gestured toward the room.
He looked at me like I was like I was a hurt puppy. "Goodbye, Madison. Take care of yourself. I'm not worth it." Then he closed the door.
My mouth hung open just a little and I covered my mouth to quiet the gasp that almost escaped. I gathered myself and walked away. I didn't look back. I was walking away from someone who started a fire and put it out. As soon as I got home I broke down. I through pillows because that's what I do when I'm mad. Riley wasn't home. I dragged myself into bed and cried. I cried for a good two hours when I finally stopped. I didn't want to be one of those pathetic girls who stops living once they are broken up with. I went into the bathroom and took a shower. It felt like I was washing away the pain and the dirtiness.
Once Riley arrived, and asked what happened I broke down again telling her everything. She held me in bed and she fell asleep but I didn't sleep. He invaded my mind.
I told myself that this wouldn't change anything but it changed everything. He changed everything.
