imPerfect Us| Taejin

Hurt

I saw Joon's caller id on my phone. He is calling non stop. For what? To talk more nonsense? Let see what this guy has to say.I will pretend with him these time.

Joon : Happy birthday Jinnie. I was trying to call you for so long. Why you were not picking up my call?

Jin: Thanks.My phone was on silent

Joon: Oh. Ok. By the way I saw party pics, it looks like you had blast last night. You made great friends it seems. I am so sorry I totally forgot your birthday. I was so busy with assignments

Jin: It's ok.I made honest friends here

Joon: Ah.Okkkk.I heard my mom came to your house.I told her why I was worried. And she just went to your house

Jin: It's okay. She brought me sweets

Joon: Good.Good.What's your plan now then? What's going on with your life?

Jin: I am tired. So I will sleep after this call. And nothing exciting in my life. What about you?

Joon: Same old routine. Nothing great

Jin: Ok

Joon: Okkkk.I guess you are very sleepy. I will call some other time.Bye. Once again happy bir-

I cancelled his call. I can't bear anymore lies. I can't. I gave him chance to come clean. But if he doesn't like to share anything with me then I am not dying to share my life with him.

I put my phone on silent and just slept like baby.

I woke up around 8pm and saw several messages on my phone.

Jimin: Jinnie I am sorry. I was so tired I just slept for whole day. What you and Tae did on your birthday? You two finally crossed line??

Tae: You said you were feeling bad that I was leaving. Yet you didn't even messaged me. I am hurt.

Tae: Wow now not even replying to messages.

Tae: Not even replying to calls?

Tae:Are you ok?

Tae: Did I messed up something?

Tae: Talk to me. I am worried.

Tae: May be you fell asleep. I am so crazy haha. Ping me back whenever you see these messages.

Tae: I am tired. I will also sleep. Still message me back.

I don't deserve these two. Totally don't. I am such werido. I am sad over guy who didn't give two shits about me.

I kept staring at ceiling and think more and more about it.

Joon didn't saw anything in me all these time. We were friends for so long and he never felt attracted toward me. Not even little bit. Not even to the point to care to inform me about his relationship.

May be someday Taehyung will also realize what a waste of time and effort I am. He will see what Joon saw in me and then eventually will get bored of me.

What's anyway there to be attracted to? Nothing.

To Jimin: We didn't crossed any line. He had to go back to his house. His parents were back.

To Tae: Sorry I fell asleep. Sorry for worrying you.Sleep well. We will talk tomorrow in school.

I don't know why I am feeling these much sad over something so insignificant. He didn't told me because he didn't want to simple.

I went out of my room and ate my dinner in silence.

"You are very quiet Jin. Are you feeling ok?", mom asked.

"Yeah.I am tired I guess. I will just sleep early today".She looked at me with doubt in her eyes.

I went back to my room. All kind of thoughts keep going through in my mind. I realized one thing.

Rejection always makes you feel inadequate.Like there is some problem with you.It's not rejection but still it feels like it is to me..

I opened gram and looked at Namjoon's profile. Through his follower I tried to find Jackson.

There he is.

He look better than me. He had muscles. He is not shy. He look very extrovert. His gram is filled with their couple photos. They look happy and too much in love.

I should be happy for him. That's what friends do. I would have been happy if he just had told me. In comment section everyone was writing how surprised they were when they get to know about them.

I miss Tae. I want to talk to him. I want to cry. I want to share all these with him. But I will just look pathetic. Who get sad over something this trivial? What will I tell him? That I am too underconfident right now to even feel confident in our new found relationship or whatever it is between us. Or that I am boring and ugly as hell and you will be bored with me after few months. Same as Joon ,you will treat me like side kick. Someone for temporary entertainment.

Ahhh my mind is so fucked up right now.

I hope I can get my mind to right space tomorrow.

A/N: Comments please😅