Promise Me Chaton ~ Miraculous Fanfic

forty one.

a/n: hey babes, this is the last chapter. put on some sad music to really set the mood <3

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ADRIEN'S POV
It's strange how those same repetitive words, phrases, and sentences can feel like the end of the world over and over again. The amount of times I've heard, "I'm so sorry for your loss," or, "she will be missed," and so many other unless fucking words that I've lost count at this point doesn't help at all. Saying them won't bring any comfort. Hearing the words only made me feel worse. Being here made it official.

She was gone.

~

The day before Marinette's funeral, I prepared the letters I had written to her over the course of months. Her voice was still loud in my mind, way too loud, and when I picked the letters up, it brought me back to the time when she found my journal.

"No, you can't read that yet."

"What? Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready for you to read it. I'm not done."

"Pleeease? Just one page?"

"No, you have to be patient."

"Ugh fine. You're so annoying,"

"I promise. You'll see it one day." I stuck out my pinky finger.

"Okay Kitty," she stuck her pinky out and wrapped it around mine. "Promise."

We never broke our promises. I promised her. I promised that she would see it one day and that would never happen. I lied to her. Before I knew it, the letters I was holding in my hands were slowly getting wrinkly due to my tears falling on them. I've tried so hard not to cry every waking hour but it's too hard. I haven't given myself time to myself to actually grieve and mourn for her. I always tried to surround myself in hopes that I'll forget, even just for the slightest moment, but I can't.

Every person I see and every dream I have and everything left behind is only a reminder of her and what shouldn't have happened. It should've been me. I should've been the one in her position but Marinette? She had so much more to lose and so many people that loved her the way people should love. Everytime I see her parents I see how truly devastated they are that they lost their daughter. Her parents, her father, really loved her. I killed my father for heaven's sake and I still don't regret it. I know it's such a wrong thing to do but it's what he deserved. He took away the one thing I wasn't okay with losing and treated her like she was nothing. Like she meant nothing.

Some days I do something reckless in hopes of Bunnix coming and bringing me back to the past so I could see her. One. Last. Time. It hasn't worked. I know it doesn't really work like that but I've gotten so desperate that that's the only other option I have now. I just wish I could look at her beautiful, lively face again. I wish she were here. I wish I could hug her and kiss her and tell her I loved her. But this wish would never come true.

All I can really think about is what I could've had with her. Key word -- could've. I shook the thought from my head, the same and only thought I've had for the past two weeks, and stacked the letters so they were on top of one another. I got up, tucked in my desk chair, turned my lamp off, and headed straight to bed. I didn't want to think about her again but that's the only thing my mind could do. The only thing I felt was guilt.

~

I hit the annoying clock that was ringing on my left side and looked at the time. It was 8:06 now and I knew I had to get up at some point. I had been avoiding this day as long as possible and tried forgetting about it but that didn't work. A few tears rolled down the side of my face and landed on my pillow. After 5 minutes, I finally got out of bed. My feet touched the stone cold floor and I walked my way to the bathroom to get ready for her funeral.