trash star - punznap

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"you look down today."

"thanks, you're not the first one pointing it out."

he kicks a piece of trash and watches it slide across the hallway floor.

"something up?"

clay's sympathetic gaze just feels belittling.

"i don't wanna talk about it."

the blond boy nods. he knows that his best friend doesn't always have it easy, but he also knows that trying to force words out of him is useless.

"just.. stupid shit going on," nick sighs.

it's not really a lie either. it is stupid shit. stupid shit that he'd rather die than tell anyone. if people heard about him and luke all hell would break loose. he doesn't need that additional blow to his reputation.

he doesn't need to be known for the rest of his life as some "gay kid" who got tricked and used by the school's biggest player.

"you can always come to me if you wanna vent, you know?"

clay reaches out and wraps a reassuring arm around him while they walk.

"yeah, i know."

but clay will never get to know. at least not from him, and hopefully not from anyone else either. they may be best friends, but there are things you just... can't share, even with someone that close to you.

in reality it wouldn't even be a problem if it wasn't for yesterday's haunting words. you want me.

no. no he doesn't. he'd rather run far far away and never have to see that ugly punk ass again. but somehow luke sticks to him like duct tape. he's like a pest that you can't get rid of, like an advanced form of brain cancer.

nick feels like he's about to get fucking brain cancer from being around that idiot. and yet he keeps coming back, every single lunch period he comes back. it's his territory after all, his own little safe space. it's not like he's just gonna give that up.

he would never admit to himself that he likes having luke there. he hates it. it's awful. it doesn't matter that he's a good kisser, or that he's actually kind and considerate sometimes. or that he gives the best head in the whole fucking world. none of it matters.

"nick?"

the callout wakes him from his deep thoughts.

"what?"

"you're zoning out again," clay comments.

"sorry, 'm just tired," he mutters back.

clay shrugs, worry plastered on his face. it seems like he's trying to hide it, but failing miserably. he knows that nick doesn't do well with emotions, and that he despises when people go around worrying about him.

"what class do you have?" he casually asks, attempting to switch up the conversation.

"uhh," nick stutters, shuffling to get his schedule out, "english. what about you?"

"biology, we've got some dumb assignment due and i-"

"fuck!"

he stops in the middle of the hallway, dropping one of his textbooks on the floor. a group of girls stare at him from their lockers, and he curses again under his breath.

"i forgot about the fucking- shit dude."

"are you okay?" clay huffs.

"yeah i just- i had an english assignment.." he explains, bending down to pick up his book, "and i haven't done shit yet. it's due like today bro, i'm so fucked."

classic nick. never keeps check of things, never knows what's going on around him. he lives in his own little stoner bubble where he feels at home. just him, a joint, some music, and wild daydreams. he likes to tell himself that it's all he needs.

"good luck with that," clay laughs, "i better get going though, don't wanna be late again."

"okay little teacher's pet, good for you," nick scoffs, rolling his eyes, "you won't see-"

"'-me at lunch today', yeah, i know, you're never at lunch dude."

clay slaps his arm playfully, shooting him a half entertained half disappointed look.

"you smoke like a fucking chimney nowadays, you're literally walking off to somewhere whenever you get the chance."

nick brushes him off, not wanting to listen to his whining once more. he knows that clay feels lonely without him sometimes, and he's already overwhelmed by guilt because of it.

"you know you can just come with me if you want, right?" he suggests, "you don't gotta pay me or anything, you're my best bro."

"mm, maybe some day. i just don't wanna get caught and get my ass kicked."

"as long as you're with me you're not getting caught, relax."

he pulls clay into one of his big, loving bear hugs. he deserves the world for being such a great friend, for staying with nick through all the rough times, for constantly having to keep up with his bullshit.

the girls by the lockers aw in unison at their embrace. clay laughs into his shoulder, used to all the looks and comments. they're never shy with public affection, having been friends since early childhood.

"no one fucks with my big bro," nick mumbles.

it's a saying he's used since he was just a little kid. clay really is like an older brother, and he wouldn't let anyone hurt him, ever.

they part ways after that, nick patting his blond locks one last time before darting off to class. he should be a good boy and stick to the schedule too.

when he throws the door open and saunters into the room all eyes are on him, as usual. whether they're looks of disgust, annoyance, or admiration, he loves the attention. he walks with confidence, keeps his head up high at all times.

he finds an empty chair and sits down, throwing his things out on the desk. discreet conversations are taking place all around him, but he doesn't even care about joining in. people are boring, class is boring, and he just wants it to be over.

the clock on the wall seems to be ticking at snail speed. one more hour until lunch. he zones out while staring at it, starts dreaming about what's to come once it's made another full circle.

music. peace. weed. but he also catches himself inevitably thinking about the blondie. about his cold, crystal eyes, his messy hair. his dumb jokes. how much he wants to punch him. the list goes on.

he's so excited about sneaking back into the bathroom, but for all the wrong reasons.

luke is stuck in his mind for the rest of the class. it's like he's completely taken control of it. nick doesn't listen to anything the teacher says, doesn't hear when someone asks him for a pencil, doesn't realize when people start to get up, doesn't even notice that he's getting yelled at because of his missing assignment.

fictional luke is in another dimension, and his head just wanders off to get to him.

it messes with nick. it messes with him so bad.

°. •. 。