Unpredictable

Chapter 3

*Calum's POV*
I stared up at the ceiling with the acoustic version of Carapherneila on repeat. The looping sounds of the lyrics consumed me and bit at the sides of my brains. "So baby what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat. I'll be the fire that'll catch you" Karma. I couldn't get her out of my head. I haven't spoken to her in what seemed like decades when in reality it had only been about 2 months. I longed for her laugh. She was so beautiful when she laughed. Her eyes would crinkle up and she'd throw back her head. Her laugh was so ridiculous - she sounded like a choking hyena gasping for air. But I loved it. It made me laugh. It made me happy. In fact Karma in general made me happy. Not only because she was my best friend, but because I got this feeling when I was with her. It was like everything was wrong but everything was right and all I wanted was to hold her. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. I couldn't explain what I felt about her. She made me nervous, yet I was comfortable being myself. She made me feel daring but at the same time safe. I loved the thrill she gave me. And I loved the sense of clarity. I knew I needed her and I hoped she needed me. I loved the feeling she gave me..I just wasn't sure if I loved her. I wanted to love her more than anything, but I was just so scared to ruin our friendship. I knew I loved her as a friend and I knew she loved me. But more than that? I wasn't sure. I was so stupid for kissing her that night. I lost everything. But we were running down the streets, singing our favorite songs. We were dancing and laughing and I couldn't stop smiling. Her voice was the only thing that filled my ears. It was like the city wasn't even there. I never wanted it to be different. So when she had to go, I had to make her stay. When she was speaking I couldn't help but look at her mouth. They were chapped and bruised and all I wanted was to kiss it away. I had fought the temptation for years. But today I just couldn't bear it anymore. So I grabbed her waist and I pulled myself closer to her. I twisted her hair around my fingers, and I could see her smile growing wider and wider and her eyes growing more and more. She was looking at the ground, probably blushing. So I rested my hands around her neck and crashed my lips into hers. It was like a violent war. I was full of passion, and it felt like she was too. Or maybe it was just lust. But whatever it was, it was real. And no matter what distance she kept from me that would never change.
*Karma's POV
My phone lit up. I strained my eyes. It was the dark of the night. I rolled to my side to face my bedside table to grab it. "1 message notification" I rolled my eyes. Well nah dip Sherlock. My eyes widened when I read it.
"Calum's called you like eight times. For Christ's sake answer it. I can't handle his sobbing. He's such a lovedick puppy." -Michael
I laughed. Of course Michael would make a typo like that. Who else would? I texted back
"Lovedick??"
Immediately I received the reply
"Shut up Karma! You know what I mean!"
I laughed and texted back
"Okay Michael. I do know what you mean."
I received a message about a millisecond later.
"Well of course you know what I mean! But stop trying to change the subject. Talk to Calum. Please."
I texted back with anger as I hit the keys. And the next following messages seemed to go back and forth for hours, when in reality it had only been a few fragile seconds.
"no."
"Please Karma?"
"No."
"Why not?"
I didn't know why.
"Because I can't."
"And why is that??"
I could practically see his grin.
"Because I said so. Now it is one AM and I'm going to go back to the dream you oh so terribly deprived me of."
"Okay. I'm sorry. I can't get between you and your dreams of Calum."
I rolled my eyes. What a prick.
"Goodnight Michael."
"Goodnight Karma"
I could almost hear his voice coo. Gosh. Will he ever stop? He can be so much to handle sometimes. Actually make that all the time. I rolled over to my side and closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep. But I couldn't. Calum was on my brain. So I lied there flat on the bed, watching the ceiling fan spin as fast as the thoughts swirling around in my brain. Did Calum really miss me? I knew I missed him. Maybe it wouldn't kill me to text him back. I mean I would never trade him for anything. And if we did end up dating he would treat me better than anyone else. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen if he left. My mother left. What stops him? What stops me? I couldn't hurt Calum. But I already did. Hopefully he'd understand..that he just can't take me away. Because the pain would travel with me. It wouldn't matter if my mom came back, and it doesn't matter that my dad stopped hurting me. The pain will always be there. For the rest of my life those terrible memories will always haunt my dreams, and dwell in my thoughts on nights like these. I was so afraid Calum would be the same way. I was afraid that I'd be the same way. I was afraid of everything. But what was so ironic was that he was the only thing that took the pain away. When he held me it was like I had found that home I never had, that comfort I had always wanted. But as afraid as I was, the truth still remained. And it frightened me more than anything. I loved Calum Hood, and that would never change.