**UNEDITED
"So let me get this straight," Jeno chuckles softly from his perch on the counter top. "Because you don't know how to deal with your feelings, you want us to teach you how to flirt with this guy?"
Donghyuck glares at him from his seat at the kitchen table, picking apart an Oreo and throwing the pieces at him. "I'm not asking for your coaching, I just want tips you dildo." He sets his sights on Jaemin, the brunette pausing from pouring himself something to drink to laugh at their exchange. "What's so funny about me asking for your help?"
Jaemin's laughter softens to a smile. "I don't think that's what's funny."
"Then what is it?" Donghyuck's glare returns, eyes narrowing. "I'm on my thirteenth reason and you two are treating this like comedy hour at the karaoke bar."
Jeno snorts, slapping a hand over his mouth when Donghyuck snaps his gaze in his direction once more. "I'm sorry! It slipped out!"
"Kinda like how you did, huh?" The purple haired male scowls.
"Alright, settle down." Jaemin soothes, crossing the small space to comb his fingers through Donghyuck's purple locks. He calms down shortly after, the scowl leaving his face and his expression softens. Jaemin coos, retracting his hand and being met with a frown when he watches Jaemin move to stand by Jeno.
"Fucking—"
"I give him dick, what do you have to offer?" Jeno grins cheekily, Jaemin swatting at his shoulder shortly after for his teasing.
"My love and affection, but I see you value what few inches he has to offer more than our friendship." Donghyuck's glare towards Jaemin turns into a smirk at the expression on Jeno's face. "Close your mouth, you'll catch flies."
Jeno scoffs, telling himself he doesn't have to listen to him but closes his mouth anyways.
Donghyuck giggles across from him, the sound meant to tease but coming off cute to the couple. Jaemin smiles adoringly while Jeno merely grins.
"So what's being done about your little plaything? You kissed him, then he called you beautiful, now what's your move?" Jeno rests his elbows onto his knees, leaning forward in interest. Jaemin does the same, looking at Donghyuck expectantly.
Donghyuck leans away from their prying eyes, the smile wiped from his face at the question. "What do you mean what's my next move? I just asked you dunces to help me flirt with him, what else should I do?!"
"Oh I see," Jeno nods. "you're gonna tease him and make him cream his pants again aren't you?"
"Jaemin, I swear to god—"
"I don't know why you're getting so upset." Jeno laughs softly at the blossoming redness in Donghyuck's cheeks. "Didn't you get off on the thought that he was getting off on you?"
Donghyuck's face blooms bright red and he unconsciously clenches his hands into fists. Jaemin's expression turns serious at the sight and he turns to face his boyfriend with a hand on his shoulder. Jeno's smile dissipates, turning to Jaemin with his eyebrows furrowed.
"What? How come he gets to—"
"Apologize." Jaemin murmurs softly, keeping his hand in place.
Jeno's eyes widen, mouth hanging open in shock. "That's not fair! He teases me all the time! And he started it, why should I have to—" He breaks off in a cry of pain, Jaemin using the hand on his shoulder to dig the knuckles of his fingers into the skin. Not hard enough to bruise, just enough to scare him.
