Heather and Raven

Like A Goddamned Bull

I don't know if Raven knows about me, but I don't think he does: he probably would've said something already. Raven's amazing at keeping secrets –like, seriously: if I ever end up giving in to my homicidal tendencies, Raven would be the only one I'd even consider telling– but I know he always talks to the person they belong to. He'll never admit it out loud, but we all know he was proud of his own trustworthiness.

"Stop staring at me," Raven snaps, so suddenly that I startle. "It's annoying."

I swallow a biting retort and sigh. "Sorry."

Raven turns his head to look at me. "Okay, now it's worrisome. You never apologize. Not to me, anyway. What's going on?"

Another thing about Raven: he's a human lie detector, as well as a pit bull. So trying to lie to him or get him to let it go, would be about as useful as telling a building to move. And that's why I blurt: "Are you in love with Kate?"

I'm honestly not sure which one of us is more caught off guard. Raven's face pales, effectively answering my question, but he still asks: "Why would you think that?"

"Is that a yes?"

Apparently realizing that he hasn't even tried to deny it, he stares back at the TV. "How'd you guess?"

I shrug and shift until our shoulders are pressed together. Raven briefly glances at me but doesn't mention it. "Just... The way you look at her. How you act around her. Seriously, Raven, you're so soft when she's around. I'm surprised no one else has guessed."

He fiddles with a loose thread in his shirt. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Of course I won't," I reply, a little indignant he would even think that. Softening my voice, I ask: "For how long have you been..?"

"A few months," he reluctantly confesses. "I just started seeing her differently, I guess."

Oh boy, I know exactly what he's talking about. About half a year ago, our entire group –Raven, Drew, Kate, Maddison, Justin, and I– were hanging out together. Nothing out of the ordinary: just the six of us squeezed into a booth at our favorite diner, and Maddison said something funny and Justin laughed, and it just hit me like a sledgehammer. Maybe it was the lighting, maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed: whatever it was, I just never looked at him the way I used to again.

"You're in love with Justin," Raven says suddenly.

And well: that's my own fault. Should've known better than to get distracted around Raven.

"Surprise," I say, in what has to be the lamest surprise ever. "How'd you know it was Justin and not Drew?"

"Because, believe it or not, you're really not as subtle as you think."

"You're one to talk," I shoot back, glaring at him.

Raven chuckles and raises his hands in surrender. "Just stating the facts."

Since Raven doesn't lie all that often, I take his word for it. "Am I really the obvious?"

"Don't worry: not any more obvious than me."

"Oh, gee, that's a comfort."

Raven gets up from the couch. "Justin's in the kitchen, right?"

I stand as well. "If you do that, I'm running right upstairs to tell Kate the truth."

He snaps his fingers and then points at me. "Except you wouldn't, because you're too terrified of blowing up our friend group."

With that, he starts towards the kitchen. And I'm forced to do the only thing I can think of in my panic. Once, in PE, we played football. Before the actual game, however, the Coach taught us how to tackle someone.