just the way you are

chapter 25 Introspection

Chapter 25 introspection

Introspection
Definition: the examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.

She walks a bit farther than her route should be.  The Latin word introspicere means to look inside, metaphorically, speaking of course.

When weiss was little, that's all her father ever said, when she threw a fit for being forced to wear or do something.

The way saw it was a bunch of "I do this because this" ect ect. Which wasn't far off the wagon. She was older now, she knew how to look deeper. Did she want too? No.

Well she knew how too. Just not where to start.

....

She's prepared, she's fought grimm, hell she's even fighting ONE right now. And yet she was scared of going back to ruby?   "What a joke" she was scared of the girl who gets happy for weiss saying hi to her... Well who knows after this.  The girl that would eat cookies non-stop.  The girl who saw everything in a positive light.   Weiss was in fact a very jealous being.   Well not very. Maybe a little.  The way she lit up a room, or when she found ruby crying only to laugh it off with some. Lame jokes.  Weiss liked that alot. Ruby helped her relax take breaks, see things in a new light. Not everything was black and white. Some was gray. Or in entirely different light.

Red. Weiss loved the color red, contrary to belief her favorite color is red.  It use to be white, but maybe that was her perfectionism talking.  White was untainted. Perfect.  Untouched, unmarked. And weiss simply wasn't.  She was dirty compared to white.  She sighed splitting the ursa in half.

She was scared of touch, how good it felt with ruby. Almost suffocatingly so.  Her family rarely touched eachother. And weiss had to admit more then half of them were cause of hitting her or an accidently brush of shoulders.   She was horribly insecure. She had scares running up and down her back. Her right wrist covered in scars that look like some deranged animal did it.

She was scared Ruby wouldn't want her, or like her.   She did always have a tendency to push people away. She didn't know how to stop.  Ruby wasn't some stranger.  Or person whatever. She was Ruby rose, her mate, her first friend. Her first every thing.  She stabs her sword into the ground leaning on it ever so lightly enough to rest her arms and head on it.

"I'm gay." She whispers it. Almost flinching from hearing her own words.  She smacks her lips together. " may oum forgive me." It's a bitter laugh. "Ugh."

....

Ruby sat there right where weiss left.
Weiss didn't reject her... Flat out at least. She didn't like this dance they were doing. They had already kissed. Made out for oums sake.  Why was weiss doing what she's doing?  Yes weiss was... Unsure, but Ruby was so sure weiss definitely went for girls. Or at least they meant something to each other.

She sighed, it's already late evening na weiss hadn't come back.

The bar incident, them... "Kissing" if you could even call it that. Ruby wanted too.  Being this whole mate thing.  What was stopping weiss. What was going on?  There was literally nothing Ruby could do.   Her hairs in such a messy state. She tries to use her hand to flatten it.  It works she gets in front of the mirror to witness the bags under her eyes. Pale pink lips. She's barely eaten and slept. 

Searching for the cans of meat she found bacon. "Oh thank god."

She was practically starving for meat.
..........

His Arms flail all over the board giving coordinates and theorys to opzin.

"Professor Ozpin, i know you don't want me to say something. But i think.. There will be a war-"