ᴍʏ ᴍɪssɪɴɢ sᴏᴜʟ || ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴᴋᴏᴏᴋ ✅

єριѕσ∂є 61

When you really loved someone, you wouldn’t care whether it ended up with resentment or despair. When you were in a particular scene, when your memories were recalled, all you could think of is the delicious meals he had cooked for you, the snow you had watched together with him hand in hand, and the grand bouquet of 'baby's breath' that he had handed to you with a smile.

It was not his cold words or his violence that you would call to mind.

It was not about whether you were over him. It was not about mindless love or pleading for love. It was always the instinct of all living creatures to seek benefit and avoid harm.

Seokjin got quiet suddenly as he usually did. Taehyung stopped chatting too, and just drove quietly.

At this moment, a sound came from his phone indicating a text message was received. The phone was right by his hand. Taehyung opened the mailbox while driving.

After one glance of the message, he got serious. He glanced at Seokjin discreetly who was looking out of the window in fascination.

It was a text message from Jungkook.

“I'm in Seoul now. I won't be back until I find suitable bone marrow. He is sick. So don't take him anywhere else just to avoid me. Please take good care of him.”

Taehyung deleted the message and threw the phone into the back seat. He was very upset, all kinds of emotions were stirred up. He hated Jungkook’s tone in the text message. It was like that Jungkook was biting the bullet, and he himself was the one tearing the loving couple apart. Taehyung thought it was funny. Had he no shame to ask me to take care of Seokjin?

But he knew Jungkook well. If he said he will not go back, then he won't. If there was a choice, he was reluctant to drag Seokjin on the road to Daegu.

The car stopped at the tea garden. Taehyung opened the car door and reached his arms out to carry Seokjin, “Hurry up. Before the dog comes and pounces upon you.”

As he carried Seokjin in his arms, he felt the latter got thinner than before at the hospital. His shoulder blades and collarbones stuck out, skinny and even scary. The bruises from his neck to his armpits extended to his back and almost jointed together.

It was windy and cold. Seokjin was coughing weakly in his arms.

“Are you cold?” He carried him to the couch and squatted to change him into cotton-padded slippers.

Seokjin answered him with a low voice, “I don't mind the cold. I just can't bear the damp.”

“You stay here and watch some TV. I'll go find the dehumidifier and the fan heater.”

Seokjin nodded his head obediently. When he looked down, he looked into the pair of brown eyes which were soft and tender like enchanted. He stroked Taehyung's hair gently, like…petting a big dog.

Tae was stunned a little, then he held his hand and stood up slowly, kissing Seokjin on his cheeks, “What, have you learned to seduce me now?”

Seokjin blushed. He looked away awkwardly, “At most…it is like seducing a dog.”

“Careful or I'll bite!” Taehyung’s growling made Seokjin laugh.

“Quick, go find the machines.” He frowned a little bit, which totally seized Tae’s heart, “I can't bear the damp.”

Taehyung went to find them obediently and found them soon after. He brought them to the living room, laid them around the latter at an appropriate distance. “You just rest here. I'll make you something to eat.”

Seokjin was holding a cushion in his arms, looking up at him, “Are we not going to Daegu anymore?”

“Go? Who's going to take care of the jasmines for you if we go?” Taehyung turned around and went to the kitchen, leaving his voice behind his back, “You don't have to worry about anything but yourself. I'm here for you.”

The better Taehyung treated him, the harder for Seokjin to accept him. On one hand, Seokjin didn't want to hold him back. On the other hand, more importantly, Taehyung was too much like Jungkook in his previous days.

The tender way he looked at him with a smile and doting eyes, the great commitment and deep loving he had been showing discreetly towards him. It was all so shockingly familiar.

He remembered the time when the college entrance examination was around the corner, his mother learned about the affairs between he and Jungkook. His mother, the gentlest woman usually, picked up a broom to lash him. Jungkook pulled him into his arms and shielded him with his body completely.

He said, “It is all my fault. Please don't punish him.” He didn't flinch. He shielded him from his mother's greatest pain and anger.

And then he leaned towards Seokjin, and said the words that he could never forget, “Don't be afraid. I'm here.”

So he could only have the strength to never forgive Jungkook. But he could never be able to forsake all the memories and deep love they had.

It was so unfair to Taehyung

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Jungkook went to Memorable Cemetery the day before he left. For half an hour, he kneeled before Seokjin’s parents’ graves.

His fingers were quivering uncontrollably. It seemed like he had gotten 10 years older in an instant. The emaciation of his cheeks and his tired eyes showed no sign of the former untamed wildness.

His voice was low as if he was afraid to disturb their spirits underground, “I…”

He paused a little bit to constrain his crying, “If I knew that it would come to this, I should've stayed away from Seokjin from the beginning…”

"Distance myself and watching him to get a better life. Enroll into a prestigious medical school, find a girlfriend, become a doctor after graduation. Even if he may not be that happy in the end, but at least... Then at least I'm not the one who brought misfortune upon him."

He knew that he didn't deserve Seokjin. He was selfish. After being flattered for such a long time, he thought he deserved all the flashy new things he wanted. So he went wild, and became a playboy who didn't remember home. But to think of it now, if he didn't have Seokjin by his side from the beginning to the end, he was nobody, nothing.

He pulled himself back to reality and kowtowed to their graves, “Uncle, aunty... I know you that you miss Seokjin. But I'm begging you, please don't take him away so early…” Jungkook didn’t want that for Seokjin’s short life. Seokjin life was hard when he was loved, while his life got better, there was no one to love him. He knew he could never compensate all the things Seokjin had lost, but he would do whatever he can. And for the rest, he would make it up to him in the next life.