Why is love the toughest?
Why isn't it as easy and lazy as hate?
My soul is too tangled with yours to let go off you...
One week.
One week since she last saw Rizz smiling.
One week since she exchanged a word with Rizz.
Not like he was completely shutting her off.
He was doing everything like he used to.
Making dinner for her and having the breakfast she made, dropping her at her university and picking her up whenever she needed him.
But he wasn't... himself.
She knew how he saw her with Kabeer didn't give him a good impression of them but she didn't know what to explain or how to explain.
Kabeer has always creeped his way into her mind.
This time, it was to make her believe that she was causing nothing but problems in Rizz's life because of the demons of her past. She knew Kabeer left her in a turmoil and that turmoil made her untrusting, pushing her inside a room with a thousand door locks.
Love and trust for Aria were two different concepts and she couldn't fathom the thought of both being together in her life right now.
She was too complex, too complicated for her own liking and how can she impose her complexity on someone else?
Rizz deserved better than an insecure and impulsive person, she thought.
But wasn't this Rizz's own decision to make?
Her deep slumber was woken up by loud thuds on the door and she merely opened her eyes when she heard a very familiar voice that always made her heart skip some beats.
She smiled as she took in the more informal, normal version of Rizz but then it hit her.
She missed her alarms and she was running late.
Sitting up instantly, she tied her hair tighter and flew out of the bed, tangling her leg into the duvet and falling on the wooden floor with a loud thump.
"Oh, you're awake. Good. Get ready fast", she heard Rizz say from the other side of the door.
"I AM FINE. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.", she yelled and she could swear she heard a very light chuckle.
And that possibility of Rizz smiling at her, even at the cost of her being a joke was enough for Aria to go about the rest of the day.
In twenty minutes she was out of her room, full ready to go.
Her heart skipped a bit as she saw Rizz in her favourite royal blue shirt, sleeves rolled up, his dark brown eyes concentrating on the sandwich in front of him as he cut it carefully while he was on a call with his assistant.
Aria slipped on her shoes and Rizz narrowed his eyes at her as he ended the call.
He closely followed her with his eyes as she grabbed a glass to pour some milk but before she could do the deed, he lightly snatched the milk bottle from her.
"My sandwich here is going nowhere but in your tummy.", he deadpanned.
Aria pointed at her watch petulantly, indicating that she was already running late and Rizz adroitly packed the sandwiches in a foil and handed it to her.
They both left the house settled in the car munching their breakfasts.
Aria watched Rizz driving with one hand and eating with the other and she resisted the urge to offer him to feed by her own hand.
As they reached the university, Aria knew she had to say it as it was getting too much to bear.
"I want you to talk to me. And no, basic words like 'oh, yes, thanks, alright' is not talking. I know what happened that night shouldn't have and maybe the way you found us was not appropriate but its nothing. I swear."
Aria watched Rizz's calm demeanour change to a cold one, his features getting sharper.
She could feel his rage and how he was trying to control it.
"You are my wife. And yes, I was mad. I still am. But I also know our marriage was not something that was made out of normalcy. It was a compromise. I know what you and that guy have or had is your own business. But don't expect me to be a part of it. Because I can't. I can't pretend it's okay, when it's not. I don't want to stop you from making your choices as after a few months you will be on your own path. This marriage might not be the one you actually wished for but walking away from it would be totally your decision. Without any strings attached."
And that was the first time Aria felt the real fear, as if something was slipping through her hands and she was helpless. She could feel the wall she made around her breaking, the rocks of it pelted on her heart. The thread of her relationship with Rizz was very thin, but it sure wasn't weak. She knew she had to get hold of it and weave it into something really beautiful because that's what it was meant to be.
"Strings are already attached Rizz... infact, not just attached, they are tangled... and its not that easy to set them free."
...............................
The whole day felt like a blur, the theories of business bouncing over her head as her mind was too occupied with the events of her life.
She dragged her steps as she felt the weight of her body too much for her legs.
And then she saw him, the one person she wanted to see as this time she was ready to face him.
She walked with confidence, her steps quick and her breath heavy as she could feel the chills on her palms.
The smug look was replaced by surprise as she addressed him.
"Kabeer."
He was expecting a shocked, thrown off guard reaction from Aria but all he got was an unusually calm demeanour.
She gestured him to follow her and he mechanically did.
Once they were at a more private place, she started.
"Why are you doing what you are doing?"
Kabeer wanted to spin things and annoy her like he always did but today the look on her eyes forced him to do otherwise.
"I messed up with you. With us. I lied but everyone makes mistakes, right? I know you love me. And I don't care what I have to do to get you back, I will do it. I don't care who I hurt in the process. You are mine. Mine."
The perennial game was too stale now but the conflagration of emotions was still fresh.
Aria was indignant with what Kabeer said.
She could see the juxtaposition of souls... the souls of Rizz and Kabeer.
They both were in a similar situation today and both reacted differently... oppositional actually.
She stared at Kabeer and she felt.... nothing.
Empty.
Forget any kind of affection, there was no anger either.
The past they had was now elusive as if non existent.
"Kabeer, I don't feel the way about you how you expect me to. I was a young, naive soul when I met you. It was all very new for me. The attention and your words. You walked away. Its okay. You lied... its also okay, I forgive you. I just don't feel anything towards you. I just know Rizz is for me and I am for him. And right now, I'm not just walking away from you. I'm ending whatever thread you think is binding me from you. I'm burning the bridges that are making it easier for you to reach to me."
And there she finally untangled herself from a lifetime of purgatory.
No more words were exchanged, no more tears were shed.
It was just the freedom of souls.
YOU ARE READING
Tangled Up
Romance"I was holding onto him thinking the pain was worth it, my hands and heart ached trying to keep something which killed me not so softly. But as I started to let go of him, my soul felt lighter. And my heart? It'll take it's own time.", she gave a so...
