Until Them...

Chapter Twelve

NORAH

I don't want to hear whatever excuse their going to give me, or see the damage that I've done. They've fought because of me, and I hate this. I hate all of it. I wish I'd never met Xavier. I wish I'd never met Gabriel. I wish I'd never come to this fucking city in the first place.
"Norah wait" Gabriel shouts after me. Wishing he's stop following me, I run away from him for a reason. But he never seems to care about what I want.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I freak out at him. His face is battered, blood running down his nose and his knuckles completely ripped open.
"You just kissed Xavier right in front of me" he screams at me. He's completely enraged at it, just like I knew he would be.
"I didn't kiss him. He kissed me" I defend myself, even though I shouldn't care if he's upset about it. But I am.
"I don't give a fuck" he suddenly punches the front off of the building and it startles me so I step back from him. He can see how worried I am and he calms himself down, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you"
"You didn't" I say and I can see his chest ride and fall as he tried to calm himself down.
He looks at me worried, "Really, cause you're looking at me like you think about to —" but I confess something before he can finish his sentence.
"I'm not scared of you...I'm scared for you" I blurt out, not meaning to confess that.
"W-what? Why?"
"Just forget it" I say turning away again, but he reaches out and stops me from leaving, like he always seems to do. I miss his rough hands as the gently stroke against my skin. I miss his bright blue eyes as they pierce into mine. I miss him, looking at him now, I miss him more than I ever thought I could.
"Tell me...please"
"I hate seeing you like that, so angry and aggressive. You could have really hurt him...and yourself" I say as he looks down at me.
"I'm sorry" he wipes the tears which are falling down my face. Usually I'd stop him, not wanting to feel his engaging and electrifying touch. But looking at his busted face I can't help but want to take care of him so I pull my jacket and shirt off, leaving me in my t-shirt before I slide my jacket back on. I scrunch my shirt and press it lightly against his face. I try to remove some of the blood that's staining his face as he watches me intensely, confused by my sudden sympathetic and caring demeanour.
"I miss you" he confesses to me, still stroking my face.
"Don't..." I pathetically beg him.
"I miss you Norah. I love you and it's killing me not being able to see you or talk to you"
Once I look him in his eyes I can't help but be honest and tell him, "I miss you too"
"You do?" he asks surprised.
"Of course I do but —" I start to say, but he catches me in a weak moment and brings his lips to mine. Soon as my lips part he slides his tongue into my mouth, and starts moving it expertly with mine. It's familiar and comforting and I've missed this, the taste of him and the warmth he brings me. It makes my body buckle and I should push him off to make him stop. My minds telling me that it's the sensible thing to do, but my heart and body is begging for him. Wanting his soft skin against my own, and his arms wrap around my back bringing me against him tightly. My hands move under his shirt so I can feel the familiar twist of the muscles on his stomach. I do it against my better judgement, which it only prompts him to move us back until I'm pinned against the tree along the street. His lips move down to my neck allowing me to catch my breath and come back to common sense.
"Stop" I whisper.
"I need you" he begs as he tries to find my lips again.
"No" I push him away from me, "You can't just kiss me and think it makes everything okay. Because it's not, none of this is okay"
"I know it's not, but I can fix this. I can make it up to you, please, just let me" he looks so desperate and hopeless, but I can't let him sway me, "I don't want you to make it up to me. I need some space from you"
"I can't give you space, all I've given you is space and it's been killing me" he tells me. How dare he? He can't say shit like that to me when he shows up with his ex-girlfriend on his arm, parading her around in front of me.
"Obviously not if you can show up here with Valentina" I snap at him, throwing my shirt at him in annoyance.
"I didn't come with her, I came with James. Emilia and Lena showed up at our apartment I didn't have a clue he'd invited them along. I've only seen her once, before tonight" he says, but I don't believe him.
"You're still seeing her after everything she's done? You're back with her aren't you? I knew you would be" I ask him. Needing to know if all of this is some sick part of his game, a way to bring me down even more than already has.
But the way he looks at me and says, "God no, I'd never get back with her. Norah I love you and I want you back" tells me, and I think he's being truthful. But I can't tell anymore, as I always thought he was being upfront with me.
"You knew I'd find out, that eventually I'd know you were hanging out with her. Why would show up with her tonight?"
"She's friends with my friends Norah, I can't help if she's invited to the same things. We have a history and that's not going to go away" he says, which pisses me off even more. History...I know nothing about there history. I know nothing about them except for all the deceit.
"Can't you understand how it hurts me, seeing you here with her. Knowing you're talking to her and seeing her again"
"You've been doing the same thing with Xavier" he screams back at me and starts walking off. That isn't the same thing and he knows it.
"For fuck sake, he's just a friend. I'm sick of having to tell you that" I yell back at him following him down the street.
His eyes darken as he steps in front of me, "He just had his tongue down your throat, I'd say you're more than just friends"
"I didn't ask him to kiss me. And I certainly didn't know that you were there watching us"
He charges my jealousy by saying, "I could've kissed Lena in front of you...see how that makes you feel"
My anger starts to simmer, "Fine, go do that. I don't care anymore. You can do whatever you want... now that your single" I lie.
"I don't want to do that. I want to be with you" He's just talked about kissing Lena and now he's telling me he wants me. What's wrong with him?
"You can't have me. You had me, completely, you had every bit of me. But I never had you back did I? I gave you everything and you threw it all away. You treated me like shit and make me think that I was the reason for all of it. That I caused all of our arguments and problems. I'd felt so guilty for hurting you and being so secretive"
"I know but—" He's ruined everything, and he should be the one having to live with that. To have all the angry and hurt pointed at him.
"No, you don't. Every single thing I ever had to give, I gave to you. I have nothing left. Nothing...you took it all. Everything I ever had to give I gave away to you. Those were things I had kept and saved for someone who loved me. Who loved me enough not to lie and cheat, to not break my heart into a million pieces. So please do me a favour and leave me alone" I step back from him and doesn't say anything and he doesn't follow me as I walk away from him. When I get around the corner and out of his sight I break down, collapsing on the floor and allowing everything to flood out of me. I've cried so many times since that night, but it was like I was sleep walking everyday since it happened. But now every emotion and memory of our time together overwhelms me, and I feel completely shattered. When will this pain end? Because I don't think I can take it anymore. It's suffocating me... and I can't breath.