Until Them...

Chapter Three

NORAH

Of all the things I thought Gabriel would do to me, cheating was never one of them. But that's what he's done, he's cheated me out of a future, out of my dreams and physically cheated with another person. I trusted him when he said that I was the only one for him, that he didn't want anyone else. Little did I know that it was because he'd already had another girl waiting for him. He turned me into a cheater, and the other woman to someone else boyfriend. I feel sick thinking about it. Even if they had an open relationship like he said, that still doesn't matter. Because he still had a girlfriend. I'd would never have gotten involved with him if I knew there was someone else in his life. Everyone knew, so why didn't they tell me? Each of them knew about this girl but didn't say a single word to me. Avery gave me such a hard time for lying and going behind her back, yet she's been lying to me also. Elijah is the only person who didn't know, the only one who hasn't been playing into this sick game and joke that's become my life. I don't know what to do. I can't keep walking around these random streets, I'm tired and physically drained. I need sleep, but I know Gabriel will be waiting for me back at the dorms. I could get a hotel for the night, but I don't have money on me. I used all of my cash getting away from him and I only have my phone on me. I guess I could find a bench to sit on for the night and wait until he leaves, cause he won't stay there all night will he? I'm wishing I didn't give him my spare key now. Think Norah, think, where can you go? I turn my phone on and I'm bombarded with countless texts and voicemails. There all from him I know they are, so I ignore them. And I do the only thing I can think to do.
"Xavier" I say down the phone.
"Norah? I've been ringing you for hours. Why haven't you been answering your phone?"
"I...I have nowhere to go. I can't go back to the dorms because he'll be there" I start to cry down the phone.
"Norah it's okay, come to mine. You can stay here as long as you need"
"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out"
"You could never do that. I'm positive, he doesn't know where I live so he won't find you here"
"I don't have any money"
"Don't worry about it. Get a taxi and I'll pay for it when you arrive"
"Okay" I say and hang up the phone. I call for a taxi and wait as the wind blows across me. This situation reminds me of that day outside the pub. When I confessed my love for Gabriel and ended up running away. Except now I'm running in spite of my love for him. My hatred and anger are the only things keeping me going. When I finally get to Xavier's the exhaustion is so prominent. He's waiting for me outside of his building.
"I'm sorry I didn't know where else to go" I apologise feeling guilty for putting all of this on him. He pays the taxi and brings me up to his apartment.
"I'm glad your here" he says which is slightly strange. He's glad that my world has fallen apart and I'm completely heartbroken? "No...sorry I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I'm glad you came to me"
"I didn't have much choice" I snap. "Why didn't you tell me Xavier?"
"I wanted too"
"But you didn't...why?"
"There are so many reasons why. At the start it's because Gabriel told us you were just a fling and you were only hanging out here and there. Then everything with Avery happened and I knew you were more serious then he led on"
"Okay? But you've had months since then"
"He told us all that he ended things with her, so I didn't think I needed to tell you. And then Emilia spoke to Val at Christmas and we all learnt that that was a lie, that he never broke up with her when he said he did. Why do you think he was trying to keep you away from him? I told him that he had to tell you about her, that he couldn't keep it a secret anymore, whether they were still together or not. You deserved to know the truth. I tried to tell you, I hinted so many times that you needed to talk to him"
Hinted how? I think back to past conversations with Xavier, trying to see if there was any hint of Gabriel having a secret ex-girlfriend anywhere.
'Have you talked to him', 'You need to talk to Gabriel', 'Has he told you yet'. Are these the hints that Xavier means? Those aren't good enough hints, 'You need to talk to Gabriel because he's been hiding something from you for almost six months', now that' s a hint. Instead he just let me go around playing house with someone who's a hypocritical cheat.
"I had no idea Val was going to show up tonight"
"I don't believe you" I don't believe anyone anymore. All of the trust I had has now gone and I don't know who to believe anymore.
"It's true, that was all Emilia. I had nothing to do with it I promise. I would do that to you. I only crashed the party because I knew it would piss Gabriel off my being there. And I wanted to see you" If I know one thing, I know that Xavier would never purposefully hurt me. But then I thought the same about Gabriel. I can't believe I ever let myself trust him completely. Now that i think about it I don't really know him, or anything about him. How could I be so stupid, so delusional to everything around me? There were so many warnings. From my friends and from his actions, but I didn't see it. I didn't see any of this coming.
"You look exhausted. Here you can stay in my room, I'll take the couch"
"No it's okay, I'd rather sleep out here I say" uncomfortable about the idea of staying in his bed.
"You sure?" he questions.
"Yeah, thanks"
"Do you want a change of clothes?" he asks me, and this outfit isn't the comfiest to sleep in but I don't want to wear anyone else clothes but Gabriel's. No, Norah, don't be an idiot. Stop giving a shit about what Gabriel would think, he's out of my life now and I need to accept that.
"That's okay, I'm just gonna go to sleep if that's okay" I ask him, not wanting to talk anymore.
"Sure" he hands me a pillow and blanket that he got from his bedroom. It smells like smoke and musky. Nothing like citrus smell I'm used to. I lie down on his squeaky sofa and pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

...

"NORAH, wake up" a voice nudges me awake and I moan, not wanting to come back into reality. "You've slept for two days, you need to eat something"
He's blurry at first, but then Elijah comes clear into my vision, and I ask him, "What are you doing here?"
"I came to check on you" he says passing me a bowl of cereal. It's morning and the light in Xavier's apartment is to harsh for my worn out eyes.
"Thanks" I say I take a mouthful of cinnamon crunch, and I force it down.
"How are you?" He wonders assessing me.
"I'm fine" but he looks at me, knowing I'm lying. But I don't really know how I feel right now, and I don't want to think about it because then I'll start crying again.
"Is he still there?" I ask him, changing the conversation.
"No, he finally left this morning. That's why I came over. I thought I'd bring you back to the dorms" Two days. Seriously? Didn't he get the message when I didn't show up
"He's going to come back... I never should have given him a key. That was stupid. I don't know what to do, I have a ton of my stuff there. My laptop, clothes...fuck, my sketchbooks there. Shit" Can't I get a break?
"Do you need it?" Eli asks me watching me as I freak out.
"Yes, it has all of my work for class"
"Okay I'll go get it for you, and all your other stuff. Do you still have your key?" he asks me, knowing I kept it from after Christmas. I reach into my coat pocket and take it off my keyring and give it to Elijah.
"You sure you don't mind? He's not going to be happy you taking my stuff away" I warn him. I was surprised when I woke up and Elijah's face was like normal. I thought after he'd stopped Gabriel from following me that he'd have a busted up face. I'm glad he didn't, that Gabriel finally showed some restraint for once.
"Course now. Lets go back to the dorms and then I'll go get your stuff" He says getting up from the sofa and bringing my bowl into the kitchen to clean it and put it away.
"Is Xavier here?"
"No, he had to go to work. He called me to make sure you had someone here when you woke up. But watching you sleep wasn't much fun for me" he smiles at me and I give him a fake one back. I text Xavier to thank him for letting me stay here. It's just what I needed. I didn't realise how tiring all of this had been until Eli told me I'd slept for two says straight. I grab my shoes and head back to the dorms, but when I stand outside of the building I panic. What if he came back while Eli was coming to get me?
"Do you want me to check if he's there before we go up?" Eli wonders. I can't freak out at everything that reminds me of him. I can't shut myself away like I did last time. I need to find a single bit of courage inside me and hold on tightly to it.
"No, it's okay, let's go" I say taking a deep breath and holding it all the way till I reach my room. I slide my key into the lock and pray he isn't inside, and to my relief the room is empty.
"Do you think you'll be okay on your own for an hour while I go get your things?" Eli says as he steps into my room, but I just stand out in the hallway, willing myself to step inside.
"Norah?"
"Yeah"
"Did you hear what I said?" he asks, and I realise I just spaced out for a moment. "Did you want Avery to come and wait with you"
"No, it's fine" I don't want to talk to her right now. I need some space from everyone, even Elijah. "I'm tired so I'm going to get some sleep"
"Okay, I'll bring your stuff over later then" he tells me as he leaves me in my room. It suddenly feels so small in here, and empty. I grab the chair from my desk and lodge it under the door handle into my bedroom. Just incase Gabriel shows up he won't be able to get in then. I know it's extreme but if I know Gabriel he'll turn up here again and again. I crawl into my bed and ignore the face that everything in this room reminds me of him. Even the bed faintly smells of him as the citrus lingers on my pillows.