He walked in like he owned the school. The black leather jacket he always wore fit his muscular form, strands of his messy hair fell down on his face. Kohl black eyes that I loved so much searched the entire hallway frantically looking for something or someone.
I looked away fast, reaching up the locker trying my best to unlock it as quickly I can. My nimble fingers worked the silver dial of the lock, rotating it in different directions to open it.
The bell rang creating a chaos as students rush into the class. It was just 8 in the morning and everyone seemed energised to get into their respective classes, not because of the fear of teacher but against the dark eyed boy glaring at everyone in the hallway.
Shuffling through the mess to find my binder, I didn't realise that there was a person standing behind me.
"Rose", his deep voice called out. My hands froze at his sound. I blinked away the unexpected tears in my eyes. I don't know where they came from. His presence hovered over me protectively.
"Rose I wanna talk to you", he says impatiently.
I quietly closed my locker and stay there for a few seconds to control myself. Without sparing him a glance I walk away.
Warm hands wrapped around my wrist, dragging me into his chest. I inhaled his scent, the woody aroma that always calmed me down but all I want to do now is get away from him. I could feel his dark gaze sweeping over me from head to toe. My body trembled against his form.
I wriggle my wrist from his hands, attempting to get away but he tightened his hold on me.
"Look at me Rose", he whispers. The boy in front of me sounds tired and sad. My heart clenches at that but I try my best to not look into his eyes.
"Rose. Please.", he pleads.
Taking a deep breath I slowly look up. My blue orbs stare at him. Tears form in his eyes matching the one in mine.
"I'm sorry", he breathes out.
"No. Don't." I softly say.
"Please just hear me out"
I snatch my hands away from him, anger burning in my eyes.
"Seriously? I watched you kill him Xavier. You killed him right in front of me! And on top of all that you walked away without a care. You left me there!", I cry out in anger.
"It was a mistake", he says pathetically.
I wanted to believe him,I really did but I was scared. I trusted him the first time with all that in me but I'm terrified of doing it again. You can't regain trust once it's been lost and no matter how much he repents for it, I will never forget that night.
"The only mistake I did was loving you", my voice breaks as I say I those words.
"Y-You don't mean that", those dark eyes searched into my eyes, desperately looking for the truth.
I didn't mean it.
I loved him so bad that I let him do whatever he wanted to do. Love is blind they said, and it's true. I ignored the dark monster lurking inside him.
I'm a bad person just like him.
He didn't feel love at all in the past and I knew that I could change it, I knew that I could make him a better person even though everyone said he would never.
I looked into his dark kohl eyes. Fear,love,concern,guilt and pain all shined through them. He was like the moon during an eclipse. Sunlight fails to spread on the surface of the moon and as helpless as it may seem the moon can't do anything about it. It just lets it pass, existing idly.
"All the things I did for you made me loose a huge part of me and all the things you did made me feel like I'm a crime you committed."
"We could've had it. All of it. You could've told me what was going on. I would've helped you Xavi.", I tremble as I utter these words out.
"I-I know you would. I didn't want to involve you in my mess. You were already changing and it was because of me. I didn't want them to hurt you flower.", he murmured the nickname softly, his warm hands caress my cheek. The gentle touch was the last straw for me as I broke down crying.
He pulled me tightly into his chest, his cheek pressed on my head as he breathed slowly. I tried to calm my racing heart, I haven't had my medications yet and I know they would take a toll on me. I'm giving myself away again even after I promised myself to stay away from, after the betrayal, loneliness and heartache. I could hear his steady heartbeat a complete contrast to the racing ones of mine.
Inhaling deeply I take a step back. Wiping my eyes roughly to erase the traitor tears.
"We can't do this Xavier", my voice firm and soft at the same time. I need to take a stand and move on even if he won't be there with me. Too much damage has been done and I cannot go back to my old self. I regret all the things I did but if I had to do it again, I would in a heartbeat. All for him.
"I fought for you Xavier. I fought for you so much and now I have no strength left in me to to do it more. I wanted you to fight for me too and I don't think you can nor want to.
I'll just leave you be.
Take care", I kiss his cheek softly, closing my eyes and savouring the bittersweet moment.
