The street lights stood tall on either side of the paved road. Snow rested peacefully on the green grass freezing them underneath as the evening sky cast darkness around enveloping it with a serene.
The mild smell of burned wood wafted in the air exuding an earthy tenor. All bundled up in warm clothes, she stood there waiting for a cup of coffee from the small cafe stand. A breeze flew by freezing her already cold form.
Fairy lights hung above the brick roof, casting a golden glow on her making her features angelic. The light danced off her skin like pearls radiating innocence.
Not many people were around and it made her feel safe and comfortable. Something was soothing about a distinct lack of crowd that put her at ease. Her boyfriend stood next to her yapping happily about his day. She mildly paid attention to it responding with a quiet "yes" and "no" now and then. It wasn't that she didn't feel interested but she had a lot going on in her mind.
Each day she would get stuck with a preceding memory and she couldn't help but feel as if something huge is going to happen. She let out a quiet sigh and her eyes flickered to her surroundings for a split second and she caught the gaze of a pair of familiar kohl eyes. The same ones that used to make her heart beat faster and her body warm. The ones that had adoration and love in them all for her. She felt like her body stopped working and all it took was one glimpse of his presence.
He didn't expect to see her. It felt like a blast from his past. It took him a moment for him to even comprehend what he saw. She looked beautiful as always, her hair had grown more and she looked mature. Her gentle face with those rosy cheeks and soft lips that would caress him every night made his insides flutter. Green eyes that made him drown in them every time made his heart clench painfully. She looked better.....better than when she was with him and it made him want to end himself.
Tears sprung into her eyes and she found it hard to breathe as her chest constricted awfully. It had been 7 years since that day when she left him in the hallway alone ending with them both crying silently at their losses.
They both stood there gazing at each other. She took in his features. His body seemed to be livelier and his face didn't have the sunken look as he did before. It made her happy that he was healthy and taking care of himself. It was like watching a better version of themselves but no matter what, they felt like the same 17-year-olds who stood in that hallway one last time. She remembered how his arms felt like home, how he would stroke her hair as she lay down on top of him cocooning herself in the warmth. It was them against the whole world.
"Rose...."
So much has changed since then and she knew it was because of his absence. The loss of someone's presence alters your identity and she felt powerful. She felt in control of herself and she was happy, a thought she repeated over the years hesitantly.
"Rose...."
The pair of dark kohl eyes had haunted her every day but soon they were replaced with hope. He vanished from her life and that was enough to bring peace even at the expense of him gone. She didn't feel like a burden to anyone and she focused on herself. Focused on the things she had lost.
"ROSE!"
She flinched at the harsh voice of her boyfriend's and snapped her head in his direction alarmed. It irked her that she never realised that he was calling her name.
I'm Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she glanced at his bright blue eyes. The string of thought that passed through her mind vanished at the commotion grasping her back into reality.
"Baby, What happened?", his hands cupped her face gently, not as gentle as him. She felt like it was a foreign feeling now that she saw him like the man standing in front of her had no right to touch her. Her body felt like recoiling at the mere caress and tears blurred in her eyes. She slowly removed his hand from the side of her face and flashed him a small smile to ease him off his worry. Even it had been that long it felt like she belonged to him.
He was watching the guy touch her softly. Worry was evident in the man's eyes causing him to clench his fist. He barely noticed his girlfriend beside him, her hand that was encased around his arm made his skin crawl, and all he wanted to do was push it away. He knew she wasn't the one because it only could've been her. He remembered how her hand would clasp his rough hands and she would look at him like he was the only one who existed. It made him feel special.
The most painful fight he had to endure was the one where he had to live without her for all these years. He did everything he could to be better but he never went to her. Guiltiness surrounded him at the things he had done. She was an angel. She was his rose. His lifeline.
"What would you do if we weren't meant to be?", she spoke softly as she layed on top of him. They were in his bedroom lazing around after school.
His hands which were stroking her brown hair came to stop at the question. Slight panic rose through his chest and he trembled at the intrusive thoughts in his head. Just the thought of it made him want to wrap his arms around her never letting her go. He knew he'd rather die than be without her.
Sensing his panic she cupped his face. "Xavier, look at me", her soft voice brought him out slowly from his fear. He gazed at her beautiful face trying to ease his breathing. She was the light of his life, the one who would wake him up from his jailed dream
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that", she pecked his lips softly reassuring him that she wouldn't leave him. Her small body hugged him closer to herself running her fingers through his hair softly to make him comfortable. He nuzzled his face into her neck heaving a sigh at her gentle actions.
Even if her question brought him panic he knew the answer. He took a deep breath ready to respond.
"The day you leave me is the day I pick up the gun from under my bed and shoot myself", he felt her freeze at his words. He knew he would do that and he would do it with a fucking smile on his face.
If he would drown in the sea then she would be the water that swathed him and he would happily drift away as his body succumbed to its desires.
She kissed his heart softly and cuddled into his chest. Warmth enveloped him and he felt at peace like he had everything in the world with him.
He lived and breathed for her. The dominant possessive part of him wanted to never let go of her no matter what. She was his. Forever.
She reassured the man and persuaded him to go get their coffees. The moment he went away her eyes flickered to him still standing there. She looked at the girl beside him who was on her phone. After a moment, she smiled at him.
Her eyes twinkled at him taking his breath away.
"I'm sorry", he mouthed to her. His eyes had taken a sober look. He meant it and she knew that.
"It's okay", she whispered back. The smile on her face had morphed into a sad one. It hurt so bad to see him and she could feel her energy slowly slipping away.
Taking a deep breath she looked down on the ground praying to God to give her the strength to leave him. It took all her willpower to get away from him the first time and once again she was given the same choice.
"Take care Xavier", she whispered sweetly. The same words she said all those years ago when she left him in the hallway. Each step felt like
He was immobile as she walked away. His breath faltered and all he wanted to do was crumble into a corner and cry.
She left him and it felt this was meant to be. They may have been meant to be but they weren't made to last and it just hurt so fucking much. When you love someone so much you could die for them and it might seem crazy at first but love makes us do crazy things.
Rose and Xavier have been meant to be. Their paths had connected at one point in their life and it broke after a while like a worn-out thread. They hurt each other a lot, one lost their identity while the other lost their security. Circumstances shape us to be different people and that's what happened.
We might love someone and might even deal with the pain they've caused but even that has a limit. How much can one person take before they lose themselves? She was his Rose but in reality, he was her Rose. Soft and precious like the red flowery petals but piercing and hurtful as the thorns. He struck and oozed her life out masked by his love. His intentions may have been love but it was more like an obsession.
An obsession that he lost in the end.
