Hange Zoe Short Story Collection

The Night We Met (Angst)

Warning: Mange Spoilers. Mentions of suicide, suicidal behavior, depression. Please do not read if you're not comfortable!

Pairing: GN Hange x F Reader 

A/N: Hi everyone! I feel like this book will slowly turn into a hange x reader oneshots one since a lot of these stories will only be one chapter long...oh well, I guess that was inevitable. Writing about Hange is strangely addicting, especially when I have a million other things to do. Credits for this story idea and dialogue go to @TitanObsessedFreak.

"I am not the only traveler who has not repaid his debt. I've been searching for a trail to follow again. Take me back to the night we met..."

It was the soft whoosh of the water trickling in the river below that drew (Y/N)'s attention. It wasn't the stars that lined the sky, it wasn't the noisy buzz of all of the wildlife, it wasn't even the waterfall in the distance that piqued her interest... but it was the soft trickle that sounded so soothing, bringing their turbulent thoughts to a standstill. She had heard that staring at fish swimming or flowing water was supposed to calm a person's mind. So far, it was working only a little.

(Y/N) leaned slightly over the edge, watching as pebbles fell into the dark abyss in front of them. Falling from a height like that meant instant death. Death on impact. The thoughts that plagued her existence would instantly be quieted, the intensity of her misery would grow numb...she would be free. Free of this miserable world. (Y/N) was a scout in the survey corps. That should have been enough to grant them the wish of dying. But ironically enough, she had survived. Mission after mission, she threw herself in front of titans, but every single time she survived. Did life hate her that much? All she wanted was to be freed, yet it was the only wish that she wasn't being granted.

She let out a little sigh, stretching out her arms as if they were her wings. As a child, she'd dreamt of flying multiple times. Using the ODM gear allowed her to experience the feeling of being airborne for a few minutes...but she wanted to know what true flying felt like, where nothing would hold her back. For a long time, she had held a feeble hope that her death would be natural. She'd die a hero, she'd be praised, or maybe she'd die in an accident. But that was taking too long, she was growing far too impatient.

It was suffocating. Living was suffocating. There was literally no point. Why was everyone fighting so hard to live? What was the point of human existence? Were they just livestock? Were they mere ants on a hill, living in someone else's universe? She had no plan for the future. People talking about surviving the corps and then getting married and starting a family. People talked about working and getting money. People talked about materialistic desires and prestige.

(Y/N) didn't want any of that. How was she supposed to live for the future when she wanted to escape her present?

All of those thoughts, the ones that kept her up at night, had been the fuel that had brought her to this position. (Y/N) inhaled deeply, letting her eyes flutter to a close. The smell of fresh woods, the soothing trickles of water, the cool air brushing along her skin...it was perfect. She felt her body tilt forward slightly, being carried by the wind.

This was it. This was her last moment. It had been fun while it—

"What are you doing?"

(Y/N)'s eyes flew open, her heels digging into the ground to prevent from tilting forward. She turned around, her arms falling down to her sides. Hange Zoe, her squad leader, stood a few feet away. They were staring at her with curious eyes. She tilted her head, surprised that they didn't appear panicked. She was standing so close to the ledge, mere millimeters away from falling to her death. Did that not perturb Hange?