Hange Zoe Short Story Collection

Yellow (Part 2)

"I came along, I wrote a song for you and all the things you do. And it was called Yellow..."

(Y/N) stood with the rest of Hange's squad in the yard that was in front of the base. She eyed the soldiers beside her briefly, wondering if she remembered any of the names. She didn't. Names slipped from her memory as if they were covered in oil, and try as she might, (Y/N) had no idea what to call her fellow comrades. Would it be a nuisance on the battlefield, when she would need to holler for someone to save them? Perhaps. But (Y/N) tended to herself mostly, and it was unlikely that she would admit she needed help. She was independent, you see. Independent and alone. Being independent did have many disadvantages—such as a higher chance of being caught by a titan, a higher chance of being trampled by a titan, a higher chance of dying...but there were also advantages.

If (Y/N) refrained from knowing the names of their comrades, she wouldn't feel pain as she witnessed her comrade's gruesome deaths. (Y/N) wouldn't shed a tear as she watched titans rip into bodies they had not known of. If (Y/N) refrained from making friends...then it was her heart that would be spared in turn. Her heart wouldn't shatter into pieces, creating an everlasting void in her chest. It would be her mind that would be spared from the deep longing that throbbed through her, making her yearn for one last chance to talk to her dead loved ones. She would be alright only if she wasn't attached.

"As you all know," Hange had been saying, standing in front of all of the cadets. "We have an expedition coming up. It's a very important expedition that involves capturing titans. We all know how important that is, yes? Erwin already brought expeditions to a halt, so this is our only chance to get a proper specimen."

"Yes, Section Commander!" A chorus of agreement rang out in sync.

"Great! I assume you are all familiar with your rolls thus far, and now you're dismissed," Hange waved a hand.

(Y/N) turned to leave, hoping she could escape from the scorching sun, but Hange had other plans. Hange had planted a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder, stopping her from leaving.

"Section Commander, is there anything you need?" (Y/N) inquired, squinting at the brunette through the strong beams of the sun. She wasn't sure if it was her eyes that were sensitive or if the sun was just shining brighter than it usually did.

"Oh, (Y/N), I actually wanted to talk to you," Hange smiled kindly. "Since you were transferred to my squad a week ago, I wanted to catch up with you on that. Have you made any acquaintances? Gotten to know any folks?"

(Y/N) shook her head. There wasn't much explanation needed for that. She hadn't even talked to anyone on her new squad. When (Y/N) had been on Levi's squad, she had talked to Petra only because the girl had been very enthusiastic about being friendly. She had brought (Y/N) into conversations, forcing her to speak. Other than that, (Y/N) was sure she had barely uttered more than ten sentences since she had joined the training corps at 16. It had been...what, four years? More than that? She couldn't remember.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Hange hummed, letting their hand drop from (Y/N)'s shoulder. "Most cadets are formal, but you're a little...too quiet."

"I apologize," (Y/N) blinked, slightly taken aback. This was the first time anyone had brought up her introversion or lack of social skills. She had barely even known Hange for an entire week, yet the scientist was already questioning (Y/N)'s ability to communicate.

"Why are you apologizing?" Hange asked, confused. "I didn't mean it as a bad thing, my dear. Being quiet is good. I appreciate thoughtful silence as much as I appreciate an intellectual conversation! I just wanted to know whether or not it bothered you if I went off on tangents?"