I Hate That I Love You/Klaus Mikaelson

53. Let go

There was no escape. Lucien bit me, and not even Klaus' blood could heal me. I was screwed! I knew I was dying, so was everyone else, but Klaus didn't even let me say that loud. He said that he is not letting me lie myself, but deep inside of him, he knew the truth. He knew I was dying, and he could save me. No matter how the truth hurt, he had to accept the situation.

I was lying in my bed, with Klaus, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at me. We were quiet since we first got in the room. My head was spinning like crazy. I tried to pretend that I'm fine, while Klaus was with me, but I couldn't, since he stayed with me all the time.

I was all sweaty, and all of my body was hurting. I was in the penultimate phase. Illusions. After that all the pain was going to dissapear, and soon I'll be gone forever. Even if I was looking like I was calm I wasn't! I was terifited! And the most terifiting thought was that Ella was going to grow up without a mother.
She will never be able to call someone "mom"! I hated myself for doing that to her, but could I stop myself from dying?

Plus, I knew Klaus would keep Ella safe. He did his best to protect her, so I wasn't actully worried about her safiety. I was worried about the fact that I wasn't there for her. Finally, Klaus could protect her from dying, but he couldn't explain her absolutly everything!

"Klaus, I'm dy-" I suddenly started, but he intrerrupted me. He didn't even want to hear me saying it. And I understand, it was hard to accept that someone you love would die eventually

"Don't...just don't say it" I knew he was sad, I mean, so was I, but he had to accept the reality eventually.
His eyes were a bit wet, and he was trying to hide that he would cry, but I knew him.

_______________________

I was in the last phase. I got over the terible pain that was in my head, and almost all of my body, and the illusions. I was sleeping pleasfully in my bed, but I could still feel Klaus' hand on mine. He hasn't moved an inch away from me, since I first got in the room.
I couldn't believe that I was dying! I was going to let my little girl all by herself, and I knew how painfully it was to grow up without a mother. I was also leaving Klaus, and my brothers. Oh, God, my brothers. I didn't even got thr chance to say goodbye in a right way. I only wrote them a letter before I could leave Mystic Falls.

I was seeing all black, until the imagine changed. It looked like, the bar where I met Klaus, in Chicago, in 1920. That bar looked so classy, and like any thing moved an inch away from the place it was since I left. Or maybe because it was another illusion.
Yeah, it probably was...

Suddenly, someone put two hands on my shoulder, and I was ready to turn around, and snap his neck, but it turned out it was only Klaus. Then I realized he got into my mind, and he was the one that brought me in Chicago, where we met. He knew how much this place meant for me...

"It's just me, Love" He tried to force a smile, but he couldn't. I couldn't smile, eighter. I mean, how could I? I was dying, leaving the people I loved the most behind...

"We need to talk about it, until it's not too late, Nik" I haven't called him like that since 1920. I don't know what made me call him like that, but in that moment it really didn't matter.

"I know..."He looked down at the floor.
I didn't want to die! Of course I didn't! I knew how much it would hurt everybudy else, but did I have a choise? No, 'cause if I had, I wasn't in this situation.
God, I hated it so much! Why today? Why not tomorrow? Or maybe never?

I took a step closer to Klaus, and I took his hands in mine, trying to get his attention to me.

"I love you" I whispered, knowing that he could hear me very well.

There was silet for a couple of moments
"I love you, more than I ever did for anyone. You, and our daughter mean everything to me, and I give you my word that I will do anything that is necessary to get you back, because...you're my life, Rachel, Mikaelson" Calling me by his family name made my heart skip a beat. I wasn't expecting at that, but I can't deny that I loved it!

"Klaus, I need you to promise me something" I looked deep into his eyes, waiting for any expresion, but nothing. He was just looking at me, not showing any kind of emotion, thing that made me keep talking.
"I love you, and that's why I have to let you go..." I took a moment so I could sigh "I want you to continue your life, I want you to find someone new, a new mother to E-" Klaus intrerrupted me, not seeming to be happy about what I just said. It was clear that he did not agree.

"No, I'm not going to find someone new, because you'll live! I'll find a way, even if my life depends on it, so I can bring you back" His eyes started to water a bit.

"Take care of Ella, and you'll have to worry about the rest, later, okay?" Klaus nodded his head, while I was wiping the tear from his eye.
"You'll be a good father, Klaus, and I know it" I tried to smile

"Ella will need a woman in her life"

"And that's why Rebekah and Freya will be there!" I tried to convince him that everything will be alright, but first I needed to convince myself about it. I wasn't afraid that Klaus won't make it, or that Freya of Rebekah won't be there for Ella, but...I just felt wrong for not being part of her life...

"I'll be alone, without you" Klaus looked down again. Why can't he just look me in the eye, while teating up? Is he ashamed of it? Yeah, my eyes were wet, ready to let all the tears out, but I wasn't hiding it

"Every time you feel alone, just look up at the sky, and kiss your fingertips, just like we used to do long time ago, okay?" He nodded again, as another tear came down on his cheeks.
I started tearing up again, as Klaus got me closer to his chest, pulling me into a hug. Even if it looked like it, I wasn't ready to let go. Not yet!