fun.

Emotion

TW: Self H@rm & su1c1de
I didn't know what was going on in my head I felt lost and alone but I know I shouldn't I have all my friends John B Kie Pope and especially JJ  but I was alone with just me and my thoughts. This week had been the worst week of my life and I needed an escape. I felt the cold touch of the metal graze my forearm letting blood escape my wrists I didn't wince I just did it again and again letting more and more blood pour onto the wooden floor below me. After a while blood was all I saw indicating for my stop tears began to roll down my cheeks when I realised what I had done. Before I could clean myself up I heard the door open and Maia shout
"Fucking hell mave" I looked up at her not want her to see me like this
"I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to I'm sorry" I stuttered looking up as her face dropped. I began to stand up to show her I was ok when a dizzy spell fell over me causing me to fall back down. I felt useless I felt like a bad friend for causing her to see this. I pulled the sleeves of my jumper down.
"Why don't we watch a movie " Maia suggest knowing I don't want to talk about anything.
We spend the night sat on the sofa with each other in comfortable silence. I woke up the next day feeling like shit no one was at the chateau but I had a text from JJ
————————–——–————————————
meet me at Heyward's
I've got a surprise xx J 
                                                         On my way xx
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I arrived at heywards greeting Pope and making my way to JJ.
"Surprise time" was all he said pulling me out of Heywards towards his bike. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he sped off. We pulled up a beach just outside of Charleston it looked like beautiful white sand and no one to be seen.
"Come on darling let's swim" JJ said picking me up off the bike and spinning me round
"Ok" I reply forgetting the cuts littering my arms
"Ok darling"
I began to run down the beach him following after me.