Stupid Bunny. (Bakugo's Demise.)

✨Chapter 91✨!TW!

TRIGGER WARNING!:
mentions of self harm.

"So, (Y/n)." Chio smiled at you... Whilst you nervously sat in the private conference room.
Still, you dug your nails into the wooden arm rests.
There seemed to be nothing else to do in your eyes.

Well, what she was preparing to say was, "Tell me about last week."

Yes, a week since you'd last seen her.
What exactly happened last week? Your mind seemed to be a blur. Last you recall Katsuki was sick but.. after that you couldn't think of much.
However, weeks prior was in your knowledge.
Why was your memory so slack? Everything appeared distant. Even your hands as you look at them.
Chio noticed and tried to regain your attention, clearing her throat and asking... "(Y/n)?"
It was caught, your head popped up again. You hadn't even realized you were zoning out..
Katsuki constantly had to try to pry your attention away from the empty abyss of nothingness as you stared off.
She only smiled when you met her gaze once again.
"Do you want to tell me about this week?"

Really, all you could think to say was,
"I can't remember."
Very simple wording, quiet and shallow. Just like how you felt.

That raised some questions for her, so her pad and pen were in her reach again. Writing down notes on your mentality.
"You don't remember?" She had to just clarify.

Really, you tried. You tried to remember. The most significant thing was your unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Something you definitely didn't feel like announcing in the least bit.
It was already escaping your lips, though. Mindlessly at that.
Kat had told you over and over again to tell her. Tell her about it.
As much as you didn't want too..
Now his words were all that were in your head.

"I started again."

Chio couldn't grasp your words, raising an eyebrow.
"What did you start?"

How would you, personally, reference it?

"Cutting."
You finished, picking at what was left of your nails before it started hurting. The nailbeds only peeking through a bit, enough to burn in alcohol.

She was suddenly taken aback by this news..
You'd been afraid of doing something to yourself, but she didn't.. from what you've said... Expect you too.

But all she did was nod.
"Okay.."
"How do you feel about it?"

Your eyes flickered elsewhere, landing on an empty chair in the room. One that could have a person in it.. and you imagined Katsuki.
Suddenly your face was hot and your heart was pounding.
Thumping in that same hazardous beat..

"I feel like.."
You tried to remember, really.
"I feel like it's the last thing I have."

Now you remember. Everything was lost. You feel like it's all slowly dissolving into a pointless end.

She wrote again, the ball point of her pen clicking wetly on the paper.
"Is it?"

You thought.

"No."
It almost came out as a sigh of relief.

She nodded, "You feel like it's the last thing you have, but it's not?"

What do you say? Both are nearly the same. Having nothing and feeling like you have nothing are... almost identical in theory. Though, in execution, you always have Katsuki to rely on. Grumpy, fluffy haired, worn out Katsuki.. The same boy who held the force of a thousand suns, but now can barely lift an eyelid and looks like he's been dragged through the mud.

Chio noticed your inattentiveness. The near lack of consciousness. Were you thinking about a lot, or were you really just not there? 

"Well, let's talk about what you do have, then. Tell me about it." 

She was noting your odd behavior.

Again, you thought. Like anyone does after being asked a question.. Very deep thinking, but thankfully you didn't have to dig far. "Katsuki." You spoke simply. Still looking around as if the answers were talking to you instead.

Your boyfriend is mentioned frequently in the four weeks you've been seeing her.. And each time she understands more and more what you mean by reliant on him. But it's as if he's all you have. You're everything- far from the traditional sense. You'd, metaphorically and precisely, be at a loss without him.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

Well, that's the answer. Chio came to her own conclusions, but introduced them like mere ideas. Hypothesis, if you will.. She didn't want to jump to anything drastic right off the bat and only said, "When Katsuki isn't around, or he isn't someone of comfort to you.. Do you resort to self harm?" She still wrote, even when waiting for a reply.. Only to pop up and see you again. Still looking the same as before.

Most of the time spent without Katsuki is zoned out. Completely turned off from the world. All of that time is a blur, and everything comes together in some confusing mess. What you do happen to remember most.. is intimate moments.

And aside from intimate moments, frustration and pain. 

One thing you could conjure from that question is another, "Yeah.."

She jotted down a few things again, bobbing her head along.

"Do you feel like, without Katsuki, you're only solution to discomfort or self discipline is cutting?"

She didn't know the full context of what was going on. Why did you start again? Was it just a lingering thought you decided to bite?

"I don't...really know.." You responded, uneasy like usual.

Do you want to know?
You barely had anytime to think as a buzzing from Chio's phone went off.
You found the way she swiped her brown hair behind her ear satisfying as she went to click the timer.

"Think about that until next week. Okay?"

Had it really been an hour?
A whole hour you'd spent in a vision of nothingness?

You nodded, grabbing at your sleeves and bundling up fabric in your fists.
"Okay." You only agreed.

You grabbed your coat and said goodbye, slinging your bag over a shoulder..
After Chio's speach about how you'd get through this and all..
You just went out the door, walking down the desolate hallways where many conference rooms lined up against each wall.

And despite the clicking of your shoes, the cold winter wind blowing against your face as you left the school..
You were anywhere but in your body.
Floating is what it felt like. A hundred miles away.
Surely, you'd tell Katsuki how you really feel when you got home.
Smile and tell him about all of the fun things.
How much you love him and want to kiss his pretty face.
Which you do, and it got you smiling. Bringing you back into your own shoes again.
Bringing you to the cold handle of the dorm doors. Opening it to finally be met with warm air.