✓ WE NEVER SLEEP, draco malfoy

T H I R T Y - T H R E E

"My God, my God, whose performance am I watching? How many people am I? Who am I? What is this space between myself and myself?"

— Fernando Pessoa, from The Book of Disquiet

________________________________________

Rowan stayed at Hogwarts up until Christmas Eve. She packed a small trunk with the essentials for only a day or two, she didn't need much. She had spent the rest of her time with Draco as he worked on the cabinet and formulating plans to properly break into Slughorn's office and find out where he put that damn bottle of mead.

It had never gotten to Dumbledore and the thought of the old potions master drinking the poison put both of them into a fit. They didn't want anyone else to get hurt if they could possibly handle it. But with most of the professors still wandering the halls, it was impossible to slip off and sneak inside the office.

They knew Snape was watching and would possibly help but the thought of him finding out they had practically failed yet again made them turn their backs on the idea.  Other than the impending doom and stress falling upon them at every turn, things were good. They were good, together.

It would come to a shock for some, especially over the last few weeks of school before the break arrived. The stares Rowan would receive from some of her Gryffindor friends was astonishing. It seemed Dean, Seamus, and Ginny weren't fans of her behavior and who she now chose to be around.

They thought Draco was a disease but only if they knew how wrong they really were.

Now that Draco knew the absolute truth about Florence, things were going even more smoothly. The three of them now met when they could to discuss potential ways to avoid the countless deaths they were sure to encounter if things continued on the path they were on.

So far, they hadn't come up with much besides stopping Voldemort early but that would be impossible. They still didn't know a way to defeat him and even Harry hadn't been able to get the word out of Slughorn yet. Speaking of Harry, Rowan missed him, desperately. He'd gone to the Weasley's and she wished she could've joined them. She missed Mrs. Weasley's cooking and the shenanigans from Fred and George. 

Oh, how she missed those twins.

"Christmas and that's it, right?" she murmured to Draco as they moved through Hogsmeade. It was the only place they could properly Apparate after all. "Then we can come back and get away from the mess within our families, right?"

He nodded, gripping her hand tightly in his. He'd held it the entire way there. "Might have to stay a night or two with my mother but then we can return."

She nodded, she had no faults with that. 

"Ready?"

She nodded again. He'd been practicing Apparition and it was he who took the reign's from her this time. She felt like she was being squeeze all over, like her body was shrinking and spinning out into blackness and strange moving shapes before her feet were back on solid ground and her home was looming in front of them. He wanted to see her off, make sure she got there in one piece before he disapparated right in front of her.

It was sad to see him go, even though she'd only see him in a few hours once more. It was easier when they did things together, they both only needed to shoulder half. 

Greer Manor was just as it was when she came at the beginning of the year before school started. It looked in its grand field, secluded and alone, miles away from any town or family. Being alone was what it needed and Rowan could understand that need.