Poems I wish I could send you

Tainted parts of each other

I wanted you to be everything I needed 

A lot to put on a flawed person I know 

But I looked for my best parts in you

Hoping that would fix me, seeing parts of myself in someone I loved so dearly

You were my self help, self love even 

I spent all of my time searching for the answer in you 

I was no longer looking at the parts of me but rather you as a whole

How much better everything felt when you were apart of it 

How I could love every piece of you even all of the flaws you had

I started to forget what I was looking for at all and that was okay because it seemed to be working I started to like this version of myself a lot better 

I was blinded by the way it felt to have you 

In ways I was a lot better with you

But you were like fog 

You kind of clouded my vision, you were beautiful and serene and while I couldn't see all that well it didn't matter because you were just protecting me from the bright sun that would soon appear

Your fog became my normal 

I didn't mind but then you left and the world was bright and scary and not at all beautiful like it felt when you were with me 

Now the sun shining full on and I am still the shitty person I was when we met because once you left I began to hate all of the qualities we shared because I could have never treated me so poorly 

There was no way I was anything like you