I am not his Fan

PROLOGUE

"I wasn't a fan, never did I became his fan" I was clarifying things in one of my live video about an issue.

I don't want to make it big but I don't know why my name suddenly brought up because of his issues. That was all in the past.

I think people are becoming more and more curious about his whereabouts. Di naman siya artista but he is a popular esport player specifically Mobile Legends, ML. The last time I checked he is lowkey when it comes to his private life. 

That was 3 years ago. Nadawit ngayon yung pangalan ko sa issue niya e nanahimik lang naman ako sa tabi.

Right now I am happy as a business woman and a content creator on Youtube.

I only played ML for fun and to have friends. Thraia, my sister, pushed me to join or apply on some pro teams in Mobile Legends (ML) girl group but I refused. I never imagine that I will make it as a career.

Noong nagkaproblema ako I thought of the what if's in my life that time, like what if I tried to join or apply on a squad, will it change what happened? What if hindi ako sumama sa kapatid ko pag lipat ng bahay, will it get any better? or What if I stayed just a nobody so I didn't meet him? 

I am fooling myself if I say that I am not happy playing ML. I am hypocrite if I believe that I never once get insecure and jealous to other well known girl players whose fangirling on him.

But I tried not focusing on things that can only bring me pain.

"Theia have you open all your soc meds?"  Vien, my manager, asked me.

"Hindi pa po" nasanay na kasi ako na mag po at opo, matanda man saken or mas bata. As a sign of respect.

I don't have enough strength to check all the messages from the bashers. I was happy when I started vlogging but sometimes there are people that I can't control. They keep on judging and bringing me down.

I was so strong in taking things up back then but right now I just want to take a rest for a long time and then face the problem with clear mind.

Reading those messages just made me want to continue fighting my chosen career. I am not getting tired because of those bashers, napapagod ako sa mga issues because there are stories that shouldn't be opened especially that it brought someone too much pain. 

Insenstive hoomans are everywhere.

I never want to please anyone and explain my side, but this time it is too much for me to stay silent. As long as I can use any of my platforms to clear my name, I'll do it.

"Magpahinga ka muna 'nak"  my very supportive mama.

Nandito si mama sa condo ko. Galing pa siya ng province. Nasanay na kasi siyang bumibisita at least once a month ever since naging independent ako.

"Opo ma sagutin ko lang po mga emails ko"

Thraia is just visiting me during my free time or her free time at kapag nandito sa mama.

We've been through a lot ever since we moved in on their bootcamp 3 years ago. I never regret living there since I found happiness and friends in those years.

Di ko na alam kung ilang minuto na kong nakatitig lang sa kawalan, napabalik lang ako sa tamang pag iisip ng nag ring ang cellphone ko.

Thraia calling....

"Why?"

"Kanina pa talaga ako tumatawag" di ko man lang napansin sa sobrang lalim ng iniisip ko.

"Nakasilent cp ko, bakit?" nag sinungaling na lang ako so she'll stop nagging me.

"Andyan pa si mama?"