I'm loosing myself slowly..</3.||vinnie hacker.

➶➶➶➶➶ Ƥ𝐚Ř𝓽 ғ𝒾Vέ ➄ ➷➷➷➷➷

ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴᴏ ɪᴅᴇᴀ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴ ᴛᴏʟɪᴠᴇʀ -1⁚16-

BREA POV.

I  head home i changed my clothes and go to my  favourite place that i have been going to a lot since cree died.

i change to this and left.

i was so fucking sad that moment.

once i get there i sit in the sand i starts talkin i know no one come this place.

[i lost people love slowly then i lost my self my fuckin self after my soul left cree,when cree left my mom pass time with her friends dad probably live somewhere else , im without fucking parents,cree was my parents e replace them all,i still didnt tell my mom that her husband cheat on her im not ready,today ppl that i love them hate me from the bottom of their heart] i said while sobbing after every word tears falling down.

[GOD....PLS I CANT HOLD THIS ANYMORE,THE PHYSICAL PAIN JUST LIKE MENTALL PAIN LIKE SOMEONE FUCKING BEAT EVERY PLACE IN MY BODY,I MISS CREE SO MUCH, EVERYWHERE  EVERYTIME I CANNOT FORGOT ABOUT HIM IM SO FUCKING TIRED,HE IS LIKE MY SOUL MY FUCKING SOUL,EVERYONE LEFT ME , EVERY FUCKING PERSON THINK IM OVERREACTING WHILE IM JUST FUCKING WEAK CAUSE IM LOOSING MYSELF,AS CREE LEFT I FEEL HIS PRESENCE EVERYWHERE,EVERYTIME I FEEL FUCKING WEAK HE IS THE ONE WHO HELP, NOW NO ONE FEEL THE WAY I FEEL, I WISH I JUST CAN SUICDE MYSELF, I FUCKING LOVING HIM,CREEEEE I LOVE YOU.]i scream as loud as i can at least for feeling not that heavy,tears cannot stop like a baby who lost his mom.

as i was sobbing i feel a pair of fingers tapping on my shoulders,VINNIE.

he make with me long eye contact with no single word, directly pull my arms up to him and hugs me as tight as he can,he makes me feel warm,safe i ve missed like this hugs it definitely remembers me of cree hugs but thi this one is different, mixed feelings  comes up to me, i wanna hug him forever, i feel finally comfortable finally, i haven't got like this hug since cree died, i hug him back,till he speaks breaking the tension.

[are you that hurt]he asks as he sit and pull me into his lap hugging me.

i nod.

[i-i am so sorry brea]he said looking into my eyes.

[its okey,thank you  for this hug i ve been waiting for it]i stare at him back.

[really brea] he asks me staring deeply into my soul.

i nod.

[brea wanna talk about it] he said carefully.

[i feel so awful,i feel i shouldn't be existing,i feel the pain inside me kill me slowly,i feel like no one left for me in this world,one person left,im literally  wanna freak out,everyone left when i need them,i feel like i'm lonely, people think i'm overreacting while they do not really the truth between me and cree, he was my dad that he doesn't even treat me like  daughter, he was my mom who passes her weeks,months with her friends,he was the one who get me stronger every time i get insecure or bullied, he was my bestfriend i tell him everything,he understands me if i'm truthfully sad my facial expressions when no one does,he was the only one buy me everything i spell about, he was the one who will encourage me to become a car racer,he was the one who aware me when i do something wrong,he as the one who makes bright smile in my face everytime he is around,people think i can get over a person who treat me like that it isn't easy,no one understands, i feel so weak when im tryna explain.]i said as tears falling down my cheeks,sobbing.

he wipes them gently, looking at my eyes holding my waist.

[please brea stop crying you will be blind from that much tears falling down your cheeks, i could do everything now that could make you stop crying,and feel enough just spell one word.]he said lifting his head down to stare directly into my eyes.

[ a hug its the most thing that you could do vinnie] i said.

[can i⁈]i ask him to put my head on his shoulders.

he nod.

he hugs me tighter as i watch waves crashing each others,i feel comfy sitting on his lap,his hugs just to make me feel better, at least i m gonna  sleep today, my mood instantly changed a bit after the hugs.

it's been hour and we are sitting in silence as i fell asleep in his shoulders.

vinnie pov.

after school jordan and drarry pick me up to a non-found place no soul come to it,we play song in the car and vape,after couple minutes i heard a loud screaming  anyone could hear it. i left the car the boys stays they were scared.

i left the car as i see a girl sitting in the sand crying and sobbing as her breath get up and down,i recognize brea hair, i sign to the boys leave this place they move and left.

i get closer down to her i heard every word she said as she said 'cree' i become sure its brea,everyword she said breaks my heart, every single word she spell reveal the pain sh is feeling and no one notices...

she finished screaming some tears left my eyes i wipe them as fast as i can .

i pull her into a warm hug probably she need it, i felt safe she either looks like felt safe and starts to calm down,  its been a few minutes after the hug we sat in the sand and she tell me every thing, her dad, her mom, the school that affect on her even more, probably me and my friends, i feel so fucking bad that i didnt what she was going through so i probably i could stop bullying.

then finally she told me about her brother and why she cant get over him...he was her soul,her dad who doesn't come home,her mom who is just with her friends ,they were so fucking close...

she told me all of this while  sitting on my lap , yeah i know a lot of girls hugs me but brea felt just different i feel my heart best faster and my heart drop out my chest, she just hit different.

after a couple seconds she falls asleep in my shoulders,she looks so peacfuul , she looks like she needs this hug from a long time,thats all what she requests.