"Carli..."
I gave her a smile. "Mabuti at walang nakakilala sayo papunta dito."
She shook her head, looking so worried. "Uncle was fuming mad, Carli."
Agad na nawala ang ngiting mayroon ang mga labi ko. "It's ok. Mamaya na ang flight mo, hindi ba? Nakapag-impake kana?"
"Yes."
Once again, I smiled. "That's good. See you later, Rinel."
Hinawakan ko ang doorknob at binuksan iyon. Exposing the Chairman's office, my dad's office. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago inihakbang ang mga paa.
"Carli.."
Napakurap ako nang marinig ang malamyos na boses ni Auntie Cristie na ikinakunot ng noo ko.
"Que fais-tu ici?" What are you doing here?
She bit her lip, "Est-ce que tu vas bien, mon cher?" Are you alright, my dear?
"Stop treating her like a child, Cristie!"
Dumagundong sa apat na sulok ng opisina ang galit na boses ng magaling kong ama. Nginitian ko na lang si Auntie but her worried look remained.
"That's one of the reason she's not learning anything from every trouble she caused in the past 'til now!" sigaw nito ulit. "I want you to grow up, Carli, but it seems like you desire to have a mere teenager's brain!"
"Enough, Limuel! Carli assez souffert!" Carli suffered enough!
Galit nitong hinampas ang sariling lamesa, "If she already had enough, then why does she keep giving us troubles, huh, Cristie?!" marahas itong humarap sa akin. "Do you even have an idea what kind of a person that guy is?! He's the congressman's son! A congressman, Carli! Politician!"
"I don't care who that stupid motherfucker—"
"Tais-Toi!" Shut up!
"Limuel!"
Umawang ang aking bibig bago napahawak sa tila namamanhid na pisngi. He slapped me. My own father slapped me.
Tears pooled in my eyes. "I hate you, dad." Marahas akong humarap sa kanya. "I fucking hate you! Ever since the day mom died, you abandoned me." mahina akong natawa at tinignan siya sa mga mata. "Mali bang magpapansin sayo? Is it wrong wishing for the two of us to become a family? To treat each other how it supposed to be?"
"You don't know anything, Carli."
"Then enlighten me!" I snapped. "You're abandoning me here!"
"You don't know a single thing!" his eyes never changed the way it looks at me. "All of what I'm doing are all for you and your future, Carli! Everytime I deal with someone big, I'll think of you! Pinipilit kong bigyan ka ng buhay na makakagaan sayo pero bakit ganito ang pinaggagagawa mo?!"
All of it are just words.
Mahina akong natawa at umiling sa kanya. "I don't give a goddamn fuck! Do you even know my favorite food?" tanong ko nang may mapait na ngiti sa labi. "Daddy, did you know that I always wanted to be with you on every family day in school?"
Umingos ako nang maramdamang umiinit na naman ang sulok ng aking mga mata. "Alam mo rin bang gustong-gusto kitang makasamang mamasyal sa parke at amusement park?" mabilis na pinahid ko ang luhang kumawala sa aking mata. "Do you know that you're working hard, thinking your daughter's future, but forgetting how to be a real father?"
"Tangina, dad! Kahit anong business meeting, present ka, pero akong itong anak mo na kailangan ka hindi mo magawang puntahan!" sigaw ko kasabay ng pagbuhos ng luha sa aking mga mata. "Fuck it, dad! I need you so freaking bad! Palagi akong gumagawa ng kalokohan para mabigyan ako kahit kaunti nyang atensyon mo pero wala parin! Gusto ko rin kasing maramdaman na importante ako sayo."
I pulled my hair with so much frustration. "Kahit ayoko mag-manage ng bangko, ginawa ko, even if that means forgetting what I truly want! Tell me, dad! Ano pa bang kailangan kong gawin kasi pagod na pagod na akong magpapansin sayo!"
Tumalikod na ako. "Pasensya, dad, ha? Patawarin mo 'ko kasi gusto ko lang naman maranasan yung pinagkakait mo sa akin. All I want was my father's attention. And I'm sorry for causing you troubles again."
Those are the last word I said before leaving his office. I just found myself drinking at Heaven's Club, nilalaklak ang isang bote ng vodka.
Fuck that congressman who filed a case against me! Dagdag lang sa sakit ng ulo!
"Hi, mind if I sit with you?"
Walang buhay na tinignan ko ang lalaking nakatayo sa harap ng lamesang inuukupa ko. "Suit yourself." muli akong uminom mula sa bote.
"I heard about the uh... case, filed by the Congressman." he talked.
Ibinaba ko ang hawak sa lamesa bago ito hinarap, "Ano ngayon? Doon kana nga sa counter, Mr Bartender, dini-disturbo mo ang customer mo."
"Nah. I'm talking to a problematic woman who needs someone." Balewalang sagot nito at inilagay ang mga kamay sa likod ng ulo.
Hindi ako sumagot at uminom ulit.
"I'm Gab, by the way. And.. I own this whole club."
Saglit akong napatigil bago ito hinarap. "You what?"
"I own this club." simple nitong sagot.
Bumilog ang mga mata ko, "Ikaw ang may-ari nito?" he nod. "And all branches?" He nod again. "Gab.. Gabriel? Gabriel Turner, right?" nakakunot ang noong tanong ko dito.
"That's me."
My mouth formed an 'o'. "I guess, sales are reaching the clouds."
Mahina itong tumawa at umayos ng pagkaka-upo. "Sakto lang."
Napatitig ako sa asul nitong mga mata. It drowns me to its deepest pit. "You have beautiful eyes."
"Well, thank you. You're beautiful too."
Namula ako sa sinagot nito kaya agad akong umiwas ng tingin at tinungga ulit ang bote ng alak.
"Carli..." muli akong napabaling dito. "Are you ok?"
Para akong nanigas sa aking kinauupuan nang marinig ang tinanong nito. Fuck! Matagal tagal na rin simula nang makarinig ako ng nagtanong nun sa akin. I just gave him a fake smile without saying anything.
"It must have been rough." he murmured. "You can do it, Carli. You're strong."
What the hell was that? Anong pinagsasasabi ng lalaking 'to? Ang weird naman.
"Right," muli akong tumungga.
He's just looking at me saying nothing.
Kumunot ang noo ko nang makitang may tumatawag sa cellphone ko na nasa ibabaw ng lamesa na agad kong sinagot.
"You'll win the case, Carli ko." Bungad niya sa akin.
Matamis akong napangiti at binitawan ang hawak na alak. "I know, Atty. Bennett. I know."
BINABASA MO ANG
The Mistake
Romance"Yes, I love him, and being in love with him was the most beautiful mistake I have committed in my entire life..." -Carli Meunier