The Mistake

Chapter 26

"Rio! What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" I stopped him from leaving.

Irritated, he looks at me. "I said, I'm done. So move because I'm leaving, Carli."

I'm finding it hard to believe his words. "Ayos naman tayo kahapon, ah? Anong..."

He walks past me.

"Rio!" I shouted and my voice echoes around the hallway. "Explain it to me properly!"

There is nobody in the dorms since it's the end of the school year.

Hinabol ko siya at hinablot ang braso niya. "Ganoon nalang ba 'yon? Ha?"

"Yes. Ganoon nalang 'yon." He answered with a stern face.

Kanina pa umiinit ang gilid ng mga mata ko pero pinipigilan kong umiyak. "Hah..." I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Hindi ko ba deserve marinig ang paliwanag mo? Paliwanag na dapat marinig ko?"

He looked around before sighing. "Carli." Matuwid siyang tumayo. "I love Sariya and I can't do this anymore."

I gape. "Ano?" Agad kong pinunasan ang patak ng luha na nasa pisngi ko. "Akala mo ba hindi din ako nagui-guilty? Tangina, Rio! Kaibigan ko 'yon! Noong una hindi ko alam na ginagawa mo kong pangalawa but I'm still doing this because I need you! Rio naman!"

He sighed again and walk past me.

Ayoko siyang habulin pero kusang tumakbo ang mga paa ko kung nasaan siya.

He's at the parking lot, opening his car's door but I pushed the door again, closing it.

"What the— Carli! Hindi ka ba makaintindi?!" He looked up and wipes his face. "Umuulan, Carli! Nababasa ako!"

Tayo, Rio! Tayo! Nababasa tayo!

I kissed him hoping that he will take his words back but he just pushed me away, making me stumble on the road.

"Putangina, umayos ka nga!" Sigaw niya.

Tiningala ko siya nang humihikbi. "You told me that you'll stay with me, Rio..."

Napahilamos siya ng mukha. "Okay, look. I just said that because..." Lumuhod siya para makapantay ako. "I need a pussy to fuck, do you understand? Someone who will spread her legs to me when I'm in the mood. A fuck buddy."

His answer made me shrink.

Para akong napahiya sa sagot niya. Is that really my  only role?

"I love Sariya more than you could ever think that I'm willing to wait for her to spread her own legs willingly to me. Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Li?" Hawak niya ang magkabila kong balikat at nakatingin pa sa dalawang mata ko. "At hindi ka ganoon. Isang halik ko lang sayo ay bubukaka kana. You're perfect to be my whore."

Mas bumuhos ang hula ko pagkatapos takpan ang bibig para pigilan ang paghikbi.

"Don't worry. I enjoyed being with you so rest assured."

Aalis na sana siya nang abutin ko ang isang palad niya bago magtanong. "Don't you... love me, Rio?" Humigpit ang paghawak ko sa kanya. "Or did you ever... love me?"

Basang-basa na ako dahil sa ulan at ganoon din siya.

I saw him closing his eyes before looking at me with a frustrated face.

"I don't." He shakes his head. "And I never did, Carli. Now, let me go."

I bit my lip and started to loosen my grip. Binawi niya ang kamay bago pumasok sa loob ng kotse at umandar paalis.

God... what do I do?

I remembered Sariya's pain that I've caused. And now, Rio left me to chase her.

Damn it!

"Why..." I was sobbing. "Why does nobody want me?! Huh? Why?!" I shouted. "Tanginang buhay naman 'to!"

I'm sorry...

I'm so sorry...

I cried in the parking lot while hugging my knees.

The next day, I asked for my papers to the school's registrar and called Auntie Cristie to enroll me at Rinel's school and that I'm going back home.

Kinagabihan ng araw na 'yon ay lumipad na ako pabalik ng France nang walang paalam na kahit na kanino.

I can't stand seeing her crying because of what I did. What we both did behind her back. I know from the start there's no us in the picture but I insisted, causing me to be the photobomber of a beautiful picture.

Fine, I'll stop.

"I love you enough to let you freely chase her." Bulong ko sa hangin at pumikit.

I left with a heavy and broken heart.

Nagmulat ako ng mga mata. I blinked trying to adjust to the light coming through a glass window. I'm not in my room.

Pag-upo ko ay ramdam ko ang pagtulo ng butil ng luha na naipon sa mga mata ko. I immediately wiped my face.

It felt like I had a long dream.

I was staring at the window for a long time when the door opens. The person who entered the door was the exact same man in my dream.

"Mi Alma..."

That made me snicker. Umalis ako ng kama at tinungo ang isang pinto na para sa banyo. I know this room. It's that room at Gab's club.

Naghilamos ako at nagmumog. I also fixed my dress before going out.

Nasa kama si Rio at may kausap sa telepono kaya hindi na ako nag-atubiling disturbuhin siya. Kinuha ko ang pares ng heels ko para lumabas na.

"Carli! Wait!"

My steps fasten.

Pababa na sana ako ng hagdan nang may humawak sa kamay ko. I sigh as I look back. "What?"

He was staring at me. "What's... happening, Carli?" Pabiro niyang tanong.

Matagal ko siyang tinignan bago winaglit ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa kamay ko. "I'm going home."

"Then I'll give you a—"

I stopped him. "No need. Kaya ko na ang sarili ko, Rio."

Nagsimula na akong humakbang pababa ng hagdan. Nang makababa ako sa club ay naglilinis ang mga staff ni Gabriel, who's also helping to wipe the tables.

"Gab!" I called. "Uwi na ako. Thank you for letting me stay."

Tumigil siya sa pagpupunas at kumaway sa'kin. "Ingat, Miss Meunier. Balik ka ha! Suki kita e!"

That made me smile. Kumaway din ako pabalik at dire-diretso nang lumabas. Mainit na nang makalabas ako ng club.

I took a cab to get home. Naligo ako at suot ang puting roba na lumabas ako sa balcony dala ang laptop.

Useless things aren't worth remembering.

I read emails from the company and did some work. Huli na nang mapansin kong papalubog na ang araw.

I stared at it for long before sighing.

Gamit ulit ang laptop, chineck ko ang website ng account ko kung saan naglalabas ako ng mga kantang ako mismo ang nagcomposed.

I played the recent song I released as I enter my condo again. Sinabayan ko ng paghu-hum ang kanta habang sini-set ang rice cooker.

Yes.

It should only be like this.

Me being alone and spending time on myself.

Right.

That's how it should be.