Bucky Barnes X Y/n: I hate you, I love you

Chapter 2

I stayed with Clint and his family a little over a month and decided to move on, Clint has a family, and I won't be the cause of putting them in harm's way, I can't, just because I've fucked up my life, doesn't mean I can do it to someone else's, especially to someone as kind as Clint.

I got out of the car, the whole ride was me just hugging onto my bag as I closed my eyes and pretended to be somewhere else so I didn't have to think about the contraption I was in or look at the road ahead of me, I couldn't do it, so decided to think of some place I could replace the view I was seeing right now.

I put my bag over my shoulder as Clint walked to the back and grabbed the other one as I sighed when he came over, 'here', he says, holding it out to me as I took it and put it on the same shoulder, 'you ready', he asked as I nodded whilst seeing some black SUV's pull up and some people coming out as I stood behind Clint, 'hey Coulson', he says as they both shook hands and smiles, 'how are you Barton', he asked.

'Great, retirement is so good', he says as Coulson chuckled and nods, 'good', he said as Clint moved out the way and I kept a tight grip of my strap, 'this is Y/n, the one I've been telling you about', he says as he nods and puts out his hand, 'Agent Y/L/n, I've heard a lot about you', he says as I shook it and nod, 'Likewise', I replied as our hands part whilst he gives me a bright smile.

________

I stood there whilst they we're still in conversation and I sighed under my breath, do I really need to join a team, it won't even do me any good anyway, the though ran across my mind.

'Anyway, we should go, the team might need my assistance to their current mission they're on', Coulson says as Clint nods and shakes his hand again, 'we'll talk soon then Coulson', he says as he nods again, 'would you like me to help with your bags Agent Y/L/n', he asked as I shook my head and nods whilst he says his goodbye to Clint and heads to the car as I followed and looked at him whilst he gave me a reassured smile and nod.

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We stopped at some sort of building with menus of food on it and I looked back at Coulson as he smiled, 'thought you could be hungry', he says as I nodded.

'What would you like', he asked as I shrugged my shoulders, and he gave me the same smile he used a few hours ago.

'Are you allergic to anything, do you eat meat or are you a vegetarian', he questioned as I shook my head again, 'okay, wait here, I'll get you something', he says as I nod and watch him step out, close the door and head into the establishment as I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes whilst hugging my backpack to my stomach and let out a silent sigh.

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It had been a few hours when my eyes decided to open and I kept a tight grip of my bag when I saw the road again, 'uhm, you fell asleep, so I thought I'd let you', he says as I look back at him and he points at the food he brought me, 'we'll stop to eat', he says as I nod whilst he gets off of the road and parks into an empty lot.

He grabbed the bag and pulled out what he got, one potion for him and one for me as I tear back the wrapper and eat my meal, silently.

'So, you wanna tell me about yourself', he asked as he bit into his sandwich, '...you're not much of a talker are you', he says as I sighed.

'My names Y/n', I said as he smiles again and nods, 'I'm Coulson', he says as I nodded, 'so, must be exciting to join my team from the previous one you we're in', he implied as I shook my head.

'Not really, they we're psychopaths who wanted to take over the world', I explained as I saw a crinkle in his brows, '...I was a part of Hydra', I said as he stared at me.

'They took a lot of my memories, and I was really hoping to get them back, but I guess it's more difficult than I thought, anyway, they tortured me for years on end, I actually lost track on how long I was there for, actually, I don't even know that myself, time is another problem for me', I explained.

'Well I can help you in some part of what your struggling with', he says as I nod, 'thanks and before you take me on in your team, you should know, that I'm Pierce's niece', I explained whilst his sandwich almost falls on the seat and his gears as I sighed and put mine down, 'yeah, so if you don't want me in your team, I'd understand', I say.

'We all have family we can't pick and choose from Y/n, but the one thing you learn to do is not to associate yourself with someone as ruthless as Pierce, he was not a kind man and judging by your tone, your disappointed in him being your uncle', he explained as I nod again.

'He took most of my life away from me, and all I can do now, is move on', I said.

'Not most of your life, you can move on from this point, forget all the other parts when you we're under his wing, now you can start something new, meet new people, make friends, anything you want', he says as I nod again, I didn't really think about it like that.

'...So, do you have anything you want to ask me', he says as I shrug my shoulders, 'Hmm, where's your base', I asked as he chuckled again.

'On a plane, we'll be traveling a lot, taking on Hydra and anyone else that's a threat', he explained as I drank my water, '...is that something you'd like to do, help us take out Hydra so they're not a threat to the world anymore', he says as I nod again.

'That wouldn't be a problem for me', I said.

'Good', he replied.

'How many people are on your team', I questioned as he put out his hand whilst his fingers sprung up and began to list them, 'well, there's Mack, Yo-yo, Sky, May, Ward, Hunter, Bobby, Tripp, and Fitz Simmons, he listed as the last two fingers sprung up.

'Isn't Fitz Simmons one name', I asked as he shook his head, 'they're both different in their ways but we say it together because it goes so well', he replied as I nod again.

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I met everyone Coulson had listed out on our way back here, they we're all so nice and nothing compared to what I got treated like when I was in Hydra, I was seen more as a competition then an equal but here, I'm seen as an equal or something different, I don't know yet.

I followed Sky after Coulson told her to show me where I would be sleeping during the duration of my stay, I don't know if this will last, but I need to see for myself if I'm seen as a threat here or somewhere I can work to take down Hydra, so this team knows what they're up against, no one likes to go in blind somewhere, certainly not me and I'm hoping these guys don't to.

'Here we are', she says as we stopped next to a small cabin, 'put your hand on the monitor', she instructed as I did whilst the beam scanned it, 'now only you can access this room, whenever you want that is', she implies as I nod.

'Kitchen is down the hall on the left and the bathroom is just next to the cockpit', she says as I nod again, 'thanks', I mutter as she nods, smiles, and heads off.

I sat on my bed, dropping the bags as I sighed and leaned back, it isn't that spacious, but I had to make due to what I got, and I shouldn't be complaining.

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I sat on the open door of the jet as I looked out on the horizon and took in the view as I invited the air into my lungs and exhale.

I can make it through this, I know I can.