Cracked | BoomerNA ✔️

[ 033 ]

[ 033 - Absolutely Beautiful ]
( Word Count - 1158 )
- Written on September 17th 2021 -
• Unedited Because A Little Bit Of Dee's Mind •

Standing in front of the mirror I stare at myself with no real thoughts on my mind. I was slowly but surely dressing up for a new stream as I had been given a new sub goal to dress up all nice and fancy but couldn't really care. I was dressed in a short red dress, one that wasn't too inappropriate for stream but it was still from college prom which was years ago. I'm honestly surprised that it still fits me so well but at the same time I'm not comfortable.

I was never really someone who was ever that insecure of my physical looks for one as I had grown up being told that I had beautiful eyes, a great smile and a decent build but nonetheless that wasn't what I was insecure about. I was more over insecure about myself which sounds weird to say but it was the truth.

I was insecure of my own feelings and my own thoughts and what I was doing with my life at the moment. Streaming was something I loved and I loved all of the connections I made but it was hard to not think about how much longer I could go on streaming. It's not something that exactly has been around for years at a time but I still want a backup plan, which I don't have.

But ever since I have started getting more and more attention during streaming I have been getting slowly more conscious about the things I say or do on stream. Cussing with my friends was one thing, it was fun and easy to forget just how many people were watching us play with each other but when I stream by myself it always gets more weird for me, making me overthink my words after stream and if I was going to get cancelled or something like that.

There were streams which I would watch over and times when I would notice small things that I would want to change but the past. The thing was that I had to fake it until I made it so that was what I kept doing yet it wasn't that hard to notice that I was wearing clothes that were starting to cover more and more of my skin. It was small changes but they were piling up over time and people were noticing, mainly on Twitter which is strange. I know people are very interested in me but it's not very fun to be assessed with every stream and every song I play on my public Spotify.

"You're quiet," Boomer speaks up suddenly and I glance over at my phone which was sitting on the desk. It was slowly getting warmer in my room with the late June weather getting more sticky and I quickly get to my feet to shut the window which had been open almost all day. I do another glance back at the floor length mirror, tugging on the ends of the dress after I close the window. "What's wrong baby girl?" He asks me as I inch closer to the mirror, rubbing my hand over a spot on the hem of the dress which rested on my thigh.

"Nothing." I tell Boomer as my hands go to my hair which I had turned into long curls rather then the normal beach kind of waves that it is naturally. I pull at one of the rings and it quickly returns to what it looked like before. There is silence between the two of us and I glance over at the phone to see Boomer is staring at me with a look in his eyes that lets me know that he doesn't believe me. "Do I look ok?" I ask him quietly, looking at myself again and spinning slightly so I can see how I look from the back even though I won't be showing my back on the stream.

"What?" Boomer asks and I look over at him again with a small frown across my face. He returns the frown and I shrug a little again, biting my lip lightly as I go back to messing with my short dress and curly hair.

"I think I might change," I tell him with a small sigh because I might just change into a pair of black sweatpants and a jumper of sorts. That is what I have mainly been wearing and it is both comfortable and covers the perfect amount of skin.

"No," Boomer says quickly and I quickly glance over at my phone to see his eyes tracing me, a frown still across his face at the suggestion. I raise my eyebrows slightly at the sudden and very blunt response which makes him give me a small smile again. "No." He repeats, his voice softer this time as he glanced between me and his monitor again as he had been working with some of his mods for his Discord server and Twitch chat. "You look amazing Dee," Boomer reassured me and I shrug in response, not sure if I like it or not still. "What's going on?" He asks me and I shrug again.

"I don't know," I mutter with a small glance back over at the mirror, trying to flash myself a smile but still not liking it. "I don't like it." I tell him and see him frown a little at the statement.

"You love that dress," Boomer says because I had both shown him photos from before and had told him all about the dress and how I was thinking that I looked really good in it back in school. "What are you on about?" He asks with a small disbelieving undertone which makes me look back at him. This time he's not even looking at his monitor but instead at me as I mess with my appearance in the mirror.

"Does it make me look stupid?" I ask him, pulling at the bottom of the dress one more time because it does go rather high on my thigh. I don't want to be called out for wearing too much skin on stream but then again the chat is never always all happy. They want me to show more skin or less skin or to do this or that.

"Not at all," Boomer tells me with a small smile across his face but his eyes tell me that he is completely and one hundred percent being honest with me. "Hey, smile," He adds as I move to sit back down at my desk again, my pc buzzing to life as I press the power up button. "You look absolutely beautiful baby girl." He smiles and I meet his eyes again with a smile in return before we start setting up for the stream which was to come.