𝓜𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓮𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 - ꜰᴏᴜʀ / ᴛᴏʙɪᴀꜱ ᴇᴀᴛᴏɴ

Chapter Two

I snap out of the simulation with a gasp. The room seemed to spin as I'm forced out of the chair by the Dauntless administrator of the test, Tori. She rushes me to the back exit and I try to slow down, but her grip on my arm is too strong. She tries to shut the door on me, but I put my foot in the way. 

"What was my test result?" I practically demanded, and my outburst took Tori by surprise.

"As far as the government is concerned, you got an Abnegation result. The actual score was inconclusive. You got Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Erudite, and Dauntless." She gives in after I plant myself in the doorframe, unmoving.

"That's impossible," I say, outraged at her.

"Not impossible. It's called Divergence. You can't tell anyone, otherwise, you will be killed," she tells me with great urgency. "You can't tell anyone. Not your family. Not your friends. As far as they're concerned, you are a threat to their very existence"

"But what am I supposed to choose tomorrow? This was supposed to help me choose. I've been told my entire life to trust the test, but how can I trust it when it gives me five different answers?" I burst, infuriated at her and her lack of understanding of my situation.

***

I decide to walk home. If I get home early, my father will notice when he checks the house log at the end of the day, and I'll have to explain what happened. 

I walk in the midst of the street. The buses tend to hug against the curb, so it's safer here. Sometimes, on the streets near my house, I can see places where the yellow lines used to be. We have no use for them now that there are so few cars. We don't need stoplights, either, but in some places, they dangle alarmingly over the road like they might crash down any minute.

Renovation moves slowly throughout the city, which is a mishmash of new, clean buildings and old, crumbling ones. Most of the new buildings are next to the marsh, which used to be a lake a long time ago. The Abnegation volunteer agency my mother works for is responsible for most of those renovations.

When I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as a stranger, I think it's marvelous. When I watch my family move in harmony; when we go to dinner parties and everyone cleans together afterward without having to be asked; when I see Caleb and Beatrice help strangers carry their groceries, I fall in love with the idea of this life. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels sincere when I'm being selfless. I've always had the feeling that I don't fully belong in Abnegation and now I know why. 

But choosing a different faction means I renounce my family. Permanently.

Just past the Abnegation sector of the city is the length of building frames and shattered paths that I now walk through. There are places where the road has totally caved in, revealing sewer systems and empty subways that I have to be careful to evade, and places that smell so intensely of sewage and waste that I have to plug my nose.

This is where the factionless live. Because they failed to achieve initiation into whatever faction they chose, they live in poverty, doing the work no one else wants to do. They are janitors and construction workers and garbage collectors; they make fabric and operate trains and drive buses. In return for their work they get food and clothing, but, as my mother says, not enough of either.

I see a factionless man standing on the corner up ahead. He wears ragged brown clothing and skin sags from his jaw. He stares at me, and I stare back at him, unable to look away.

"Excuse me," he says. His voice is hoarse. "Do you have something I can eat?"

I feel a knot in the depths of my throat. A harsh voice in my head says, Duck your head and keep walking.

No. I shake my head, ignoring the voice. I should not be afraid of this man. He needs help and I am supposed to help him as it's my role of Abnegation.

"Um . . . yes," I say. I reach into my bag. My father tells me to keep food in my bag at all times for exactly this reason. I offer the man a small bag of dried apple slices.

He reaches for them, but instead of taking the bag, his hand closes around my wrist. He smiles at me. He has a gap between his front teeth.

"My, don't you have pretty eyes," he states. "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain."

My heart pounds. I tug my hand back, but his grip tightens. I smell something acrid and unpleasant on his breath.

"You look a little young to be walking around by yourself, dear," he says, hunger gleaming in his eyes.

I stop tugging. "I'm older than I look," I retort. "I'm sixteen."

His lips spread wide, exposing a gray molar with a dark pit in the side. I can't tell if he's smiling or grimacing. "Then isn't today a special day for you? The day before you choose?"

"Let go of me," I say. I hear ringing in my ears. My voice sounds clear and stern—not what I expected to hear. I feel like it doesn't belong to me. I start tugging again. I remember what my mother told me a while ago. I close my hand around my fingers and slowly pry them open and I throw them to the side. Seeing the surprise in his eyes I step back to where he can't reach me.

He quickly recovers himself and says, "Choose wisely, little girl." before walking away acting as if we never interacted.