Katie's wild ride

Chapter 1

I blink open my eyes and yawn, waking for the night. My head is throbbing, my eyes are scratchy, my throat is dry, my hair is all over the place and I feel a bit like I died and have woken as a zombie. I am pretty sure I look the part as well. I stumble to the bathroom and into a hot shower which goes a long way to bringing me to life. 

My daily routine is usually the same, I work nights so I sleep during the day even on my days off. Both of my kids are grown up and moved out on their own for the past two years now and three years ago my husband died, so I live alone with my dog, Rusty. I sometimes really miss all the noise of having my family here, but that's part of life. Five years ago we all moved from the city and bought a nice little house in the country on a few acres of land, I love it here and never thought of moving back, even after Teddy's death. I live about four hours from the rest of my family but in all honesty, I like having the privacy. 

I let Rusty out the back door to run in his large fenced area while I decide what I am going to eat today. By the time I settle on tacos, he's pawing at the door. I would get a doggy door, but being in the country, I have no idea what would come into my house. I turn on some music while I start cooking my tacos, dancing around my kitchen in a baggy tee and short shorts. I don't worry much about what I wear around the house, no one sees me and even though I have lost almost sixty pounds in the last year and a half, I'm still a thick woman. 

I build a couple of tacos with the works and plop on the couch to find a movie to watch. I have a couple of hours before I have to be at work, so I am gonna chill a bit. I am off tomorrow, which means I am cleaning, not that there's much of a mess being by myself, but still. After watching an action movie, I start getting ready for work.  Long auburn hair goes up in a messy bun, no make up because what's the point, and my uniform which consists of a black polo with our sheriff's department logo on it, black tactical pants, black boots, and a black zip up hoodie. I am a dispatcher for my local sheriff's office.

I pack a lunch box with some of my taco fixings, snacks, a couple bottles of tea, and a big bottle of water, grab my back pack with all my bullshit, give Rusty a scratch on the head and make my way to my pick up. It was Teddy's but when he died, I sold our other car, the truck was more practical for driving around down here. I make the twenty minute commute to work, blaring my music and trying not to overthink life. The next twelve hours are packed with some of the dumbest shit you have ever heard and when it's over, I drag my tired ass to my truck and go home. 

Rusty is waiting patiently to be let out when I open the front door and throw my stuff down on the bench against the wall. I let him out while I strip down to my short shorts and tee again, flinging my bra across the room with a contented sigh. Rusty trots back in a looks up at me with his intelligent brown eyes, "I get the next three days off, bud. We are turning into vegetables." All I get from him is a sideways head tilt. I scratch his head before grabbing a tea from the fridge and plopping on the couch. Rusty jumps up next to me and we both soon fall asleep watching an old musical. 

I wake up to the credits rolling and drag my ass into the kitchen to build some nachos. I brought the bowl of yummy goodness into the living room and sat on the couch, just starting an action movie when my phone rings. "Hello?" I ask and there is a laugh that answers me, "Hey girl, tomorrow night, dinner and drinks at my house. I am smoking brisket." My best friend Tammy says. "I'll be there. It's not like I have anything to do anyways." I chuckle. She gasps in mock outrage, "Oh, so I am a last resort, huh? Just something to do because you're bored?" I sigh, "You know better than that, Doll." She laughs, "Chuck is excited about this brisket, I don't know why, but you know how men are." I laugh, "I do indeed. Then I will see you tomorrow." I hear something fall in the background, "Shit! Fuck! Ok, see ya then, bye." Then she is gone. I finish my nachos and my movie before heading to bed to get some sleep. 

My room is dark and cold, just the way I like it. I slide in between my sheets on my giant king sized bed and make myself comfortable. I fall asleep rather quickly but am taken to a dream that has me waking up in a state of need.  It has been three years since my husband died and I see the way people look at me. Some of them think I should have moved on already and some of them think I should never move past losing the love of my life. I don't want to get married again, I don't even want to fall in love again but sex would be great. That is something I miss. I am not a young woman but I'm not old either, at forty three, I am still very capable of having great sex, I just need the right person. 

I feel like right now that is my biggest flaw, every one I see, I think about what it would be like to have sex with them, not that I want to have sex with that person necessarily but I do wonder. I would love to find a sex only relationship with no strings, no emotions, just fucking. Where do you even begin that search? Why is it so hard to be an adult and have an adult relationship? 

I have plenty of friends but I don't even want to ask any of them, that would be awkward as fuck. I damn sure am not fishing from the work pool of men. The shit I wake up thinking about, I swear. In my defense, it has been a little over three years since I have been properly fucked. I do take things into my own hands, but lets be honest, that is no where near as satisfying.