A Harmony With You: Book Four

Lianne

I will never fully comprehend the beauty of the heart. It is similar to a rose.

It's delicate and beautiful just as it is risky to hold. It's easy to break just as it is to cherish it. Both are known for its ability to bring life. Whether it is to a body or a situation.

Everyone wants to hold it at some point and has the intention to give it to someone else. Both can have very good and bad consequences when you take a risk with it...

However, I've found that there's only one thing that can complete both. No matter the situation or consequences, this holds it together and makes it worth it. It's not so scary anymore to hold both.

Music.

Thanks to music, I could hold the heart and take that risk. Needless to say, mine has been in pieces for a very long time. But I've made it my mission to fix others with those pieces and music helps it not be too bad in the end.

"Can you please raise up the music a little?"

My best nurse, Annabelle, looks up at the intern who is still surprised at what he has been watching for the past hour. She raises her brows and he quickly runs to the speaker on one side of the room.

I smile as the music rises and the crescendo of orchestral music begins. "Thank you!"

"Yes, doctor!"

"Lara."

"Yup?"

"How's the patient's vitals?"

"BP is 120/80."

"Good." I briefly look up from the patient and see the intern do a nervous blink. "Would you like to come closer to look?"

He is surprised that I talked to him and I try to give him a small smile. He sees my squinted eyes and nods. He fearfully steps up and Lara peeks over to see the student's eyes shine with awe. I recognize that shine. It's the realization I once got when I observed my very first surgery, too.

"Don't be afraid to ask questions," Lara says with her thin eyes shining. "She's the best cardiologist we have here."

I scoff as I finish up the last of the pacemaker procedure. "I am nothing without my team."

"That's a lie. She's the best," Annabelle says in her quiet voice.

The intern does a chuckle and I do a small laugh. "You guys flatter me. See what I mean? They give me confidence. Alright! I'm done here. Let's stitch him up."

"Yes, Doctor," the physician assistant says.

I step back and give Annabelle a thankful nod. She returns it with a smile behind her mask making her thin eyes small. I also look at Lara and she continues to read her book. "Lara, if you don't finish that book by the end of this week, you're not scrubbing in my next surgery."

Her eyes grow wide. "I'm trying my best here! Managing patients in cardiology is a hassle."

I chuckle as one of the nurses helps me out of my surgery uniform. "It looks like I'll lose twenty dollars then."

Lara gives me a playful salute. "I won't disappoint you, doc."

Once I finally take off my gloves, I turn back to the intern and say, "You better watch how to do sutures well. That skill will help you get through your internship."

He nods with wide eyes. "Thank you, Doctor. I will!"

With one last nod, I step out and let out a long sigh. I close my eyes as I stand in front of the sink to wash my hands again and breathe. Who would have thought that I would actually be here? All those sleepless nights. All those tears and sweat to finally be called Doctor...

I still can't believe it myself. It felt like a dream when I went into the locker room for my white coat. I look at it for a moment as I put the clip on my badge. I smile down at my badge and put it back in the top pocket of my lab coat.

I was able to prove myself worthy at last. What is there left to wish for? I have it all. My dreams have come true. All there's left is to finally indulge in it. At least that's what my mother always tells me.

I put my stethoscope in my pocket and start out of the locker room. I check my watch and gasp. How is it 4 PM already?

I quickly take out my phone and send a text message before going into the surgery waiting room. I put on my warm smile and walk up to the elderly woman in a corner holding a necklace with a cross. She continues to softly pray as I quietly approach her.

"Mrs. Norman."

She immediately opens her eyes when she hears my voice. Like every single person I've encountered in this room, she has a hopeful and almost desperate look in her eyes as she stands. They are always fearful of my smile as they stand on edge. But then I warmly say, "Everything is alright. He is getting taken care of to be moved to a recovery room. The surgery was a success. Thank you so much for your patience."

Then they do a sigh of relief. Like this woman, they always try to fight back tears but they can never win. That battle is impossible to beat in a hospital, but it's the only battle I accept defeat. I always take each of those tears and keep it close. I always remember each sentiment. It is the purest moment in anyone's life when it is a situation between life and death.

I let her defeat her battle and give me a tight hug. I do a small chuckle and gently hug her back. She pulls away with a smile now and says, "You were right! It was so fast!"

"Yes. Well, I always have the best surgery team."

"When can I see him?"

"One of the nurses will call you in once he is comfortable. She will also discuss with you a few post-surgery details you should know of. But your husband is in good hands so there's no need to worry from now on. She will also talk to you about an appointment for a post-surgery checkup with me in a few weeks."

Like with all the families I encounter, I give her a small bow and one last smile. But she takes my hand and stops me. Her tears come back and they fill with a tender awe. It takes me back to my sweet memories of my closest encounters with patients before medical school.

My heart heaves a sigh when I hear the woman say, "Thank you so much, Doctor."

I give her a warm smile and a bow. "And thank you for trusting me."

That is the reason why I have left my pieces scattered. So I can carry the rose life offers. Each smile. Each tear. Each breath and heartbeat is the rose I was given when I decided to silence my own heart. The only melody it dances to now is those warm words and the sound of a living heart.