i hate you, i love you || a natsuri fanfiction

~4~

TW, DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, MENTION OF DEATH, SEXUAL ASSAULT/HARASSMENT, DEATH THREATS, (maybe) PANIC ATTACK

"what is she sorry for?" i wonder, "for raising her voice at me?"

i then thought about what yuri said earlier

"i feel like.. no one likes me... so.. what's the point in living? maybe i should just kill myself!"

...

i freeze, looking at the arm of the couch

"s-she's not..."

"she- she wouldn't.. hehe.. ri-right..?"

i run out the door, take a right towards yuri's house

3 minutes later

i finally got to a good stopping point and see yuri, sitting on an old bus stop bench, tears, flowing out of her eyes

i get closer to her, just to see her with a knife in her hand, with more cuts on her arm, more blood running down

"YURI!"

she jumps up, almost causing the knife to fall out of her hands

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" she sobs

yuri goes back to hiding in her own world, in her bloody arms

"I'm sorry,"

"why are you apologizing? i'm the one that caused this mess to happen," she says while holding out her arms

"because i'm the one who makes you cut yourself, right?"

she's pure silent, not a word from her mouth

"a-am i..?" i ask scaredly

"p-p-partly..." yuri says while attempting to wipe away the blood from her arm

"i knew it... so this whole thing.. was my fault..." i slide down to the ground

"i said it was only partly your fault, natsuki," she explains, "it's not entirely your fault,"

"then what's the other part?"

yuri, once again, doesn't say a word

"it's ok yuri, you can tell me,"

"i- i don't feel comfortable talking about it, i'm sorry," she dashes off

YURI'S POV

"i- i don't feel comfortable talking about it, i'm sorry," i say while running away from natsuki

i can't tell her the real reason why i cut myself

it's because of almost everyone in my life, including her

all the boys say, "OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE SUCH BIG BOOBS!" then they slap my... parts that i don't feel comfortable with them touching

and that's not even the end, all the girls are like, "OMG GIRLS, LOOK AT HER BOOBS AND HER BUTT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF TO I CAN TAKE THEM, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

i can't tell anyone about this, not even the teachers

they always say, "it's normal, let them do it," so i'm stuck...

I'm finally at home

i run up to my room and start having a mental breakdown on the cold floor

when will this depressing feeling stop?