Christianity Unraveled

Poem, undated.

There is a constant state of unrest
At times it is larger
some I don't feel
but it is always there, lurking under my thoughts

There are thoughts that I think that I don't know about
Thoughts that I don't want to know about
But they're there, and their effect is only
slightly bearable

There are moments when I can't stop
this quest for truth
There are times when I must stop
this quest for truth
oh my heart
wants to stop
but is it not deceitful above all things?

And those are questions that my mind discusses without me.
Questions that I'm not allowed to question
Answers I'm not allowed to question
because it says so, right there
and maybe if we gave it the same amount of understanding
that we do with a text message
that the meaning is not always what we choose on our end
that we lose what was said
in our interpretation
but our misinterpretation can't be called into question
if it were then our foundation
would be crumbled, broken, shaken
and what was real would then be turned all upside down
but isn't that what Jesus was truly, truly all about?

They say it has inerrency
that the words are always meant to be
but what if my gut says something else?
Oh that encounter that you had with the spirit
Your encounter isn't real.
You're off on what you feel,
and that's not right, your trust misplaced
in the heart that is deceitful above all things.

But what about the new heart?
what about renewal?
What about the Spirit giving thoughts of change to Peter
If the scripture were inerrent
staying in the laws we're given
why would the new church begin
with the knowledge from the spirit

But now you say he doesn't work that way
That we aren't apostles
that we aren't the chosen
That what was said is always said and never unturned
but here's all I've learned –
Peter was a simple man
all he knew were fishermen
all he knew was loving God
loving those who couldn't fend
He wasn't any higher than the ones God chooses now.

So who are you to say that the Spirit doesn't say
what I believe he's saying now
what he's changing in my heart?
Who are you to tell me that I'm farther off than most
If the highest sin that Jesus said
was blaspheming the Holy Ghost?