𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 | 𝟏𝟖+

T W E L V E

"So you two broke up and then got back together? Why?"

Agnes sighed. "We broke up over two years ago."

"That doesn't answer the question. You came in telling me that she cheated on you some time ago. You're here because clearly there is still a ripple in your relationship."

"Yeah," Ava sighed. "I thought we moved past it but clearly not."

"We did move past it Ava," Agnes looked at her with a fake smile. "But then you invited the girl that you cheated on me with and rebounded with to my party."

"But we slept together two years ago. Why does it still bother you? You've slept with other girls since," Ava argued.

Agnes fell silent.

"You haven't engaged in any sexual relations since the breakup Agnes?" The therapist asked her.

She was hesitant to answer. "No," she said dryly. "It's been hard," she sighed.

"And why's that?"

Agnes shrugged. She started at her feet as she talked. "Um I guess because I still have feelings for my ex," she gabe a long shrug. "Guess hookups aren't really my thing."

"But so you've tried dating before?"

"Yeah. Never really works out though."

"And were you aware of any of this, Avalyne?"

She cleared her throat. "Uh, no. I wasn't."

"Do you regret your decisions from the past? Do you wish you'd never kissed that girl, leading to your relationships demise?"

"Of course," Ava said. "But I know my excuse for why I did it isn't going to and will never satisfy Agnes."

"And that excuse being?"

"A drunk night," she sighed. "Living in the moment," she shrugged.

"So you're blaming being drunk for your actions, expecting for your lover to just shrug it off? If you can't control what you do drunk, why get drunk at all? Do you see how backhanded the situation is? Why were you partying anyways?"

"Because I was invited to a party. We," she corrected. "Was invited to a party but parties aren't her thing."

"So why'd you go?"

"Beca-"

"Because I told her she could. I practically begged her to go actually. I knew how much it meant for her to go so I pushed her to go. I realize my mistake now," Agnes scoffed, saying that last part to herself.

"Mistake? You felt it was a mistake to stay or to let her go?"

"Both, I guess."

"But if you aren't comfortable with partying, you shouldn't have to go. Your partner should make that sacrifice."

"I do. You know how many parties I've missed because she didn't want to go?" Ava furrowed her brows.

"Well then maybe I'm the selfish one then," Agnes laughed. "Maybe I should have went to the party, all of them. I should have went and maybe it would have prevented my girlfriend from kissing another girl," she shrugged. "Maybe I'm just a fucking idiot after all."

"When did the idea of either of you being selfish come from?"

"She called me selfish for inviting the girl over."

"Why'd you feel it was selfish?"

"Because she didn't think about how it would make me feel." In that moment Agnes had an epiphany. "You know the more I think about all of this...the more I realize the fat fucking mistake I made." She nodded her head, slightly laughing as she did. "You don't love me. You never really did, did you? Or maybe you did, at one point in time but," she shrugged. "Definitely not now. And I'm stupid to think you actually ever did."

"Do you love Agnes?"

"Of course," Ava said.

"Don't worry Ava," she stood up. "You don't have to lie anymore. My mother was right," she laughed. "This session was a waste of time and I'm wasting my life trying to do this again with you." Agnes walked out the room.

"So I'll ask the question again," the therapist said. "Do you love Agnes?"

Ava sighed. "I did. I truly did. But," she started sniffling. "I guess I fell out of it. Yet part of me just doesn't really want to let her go. You know? I want her in my life despite it all."

"Just not romantically?"

Ava shook her head. "No. Not romantically."