The Phoenix

Promises

Zuko sat in the crows nest as no one was awake on the ship, it was silent on the ocean as he enjoyed the peace.

He had a bottle in hand as there was dried tear stains on his pale face as he sat alone in just his trousers, barefoot and shirtless as he drank alone. He didn't want to bother Mai in the bed she took over for the night.

She didn't stir when he woke up with a scream, another night with another night terror. He was sick of it.

He gulped the drink as he covered his face with a sigh. A single tear ran down his face again thinking about how he's failed this crew. Long shot really made it feel like they were falling apart again.

His fathers going to find them soon. Ozai was going to arrive on the ship and going to see Katara. Ozai will kill them all to get to her. It's the only leverage he'll have on two nations. She was a prize to him having any worth to the fire nation again.

"Fuck," he whispered keeping his hand over his eyes. Fingers tracing around his scar that Ozai placed on his years ago.

This was not a battle he was prepared for. He doesn't even know if his crew would give their lives up for something like that. He should tell them tomorrow that there was a mission.

That would give away who he was. What ties Zuko has with the royal family.

He could tell Katara.

No she would use that as a way to escape. That if she was gone so would Ozai. But that would defeat the purpose of why he took her in the first place.

He was losing his mind.

He was going crazy.

Or was he? Was he sane?

Was he ever sane? His home seems like a blur.

He's forgotten his mother's face...

His uncle and cousin blurred as well when he tried to remember.

Would that happen with Xan next? When he dies will he be forgotten?

Zuko already knew he'd be forgotten within this life time.

His life wasn't worth much but he had to make the most out of it. He only had so much time and who knows when it would run out.

And he had so much to do.

"Alright mom, I know your shaking your head at me, what am I suppose to do?" Zuko sighed leaning back with the bottle against his lips.

He closed his eyes listening to the ocean around him, waves crashing against each other and up against the ship. The smell of  seasalt lingered on his clothes and skin and hair, every time he licked his lips Zuko could taste the ocean.

He needed Katara to trust him more, and after it all she probably fears him now, is that better then? Fearing him enough to not try him like that again?

If he dies... before the reunion and this silly war to be over...

"Katara I want you to know everything if I die before the wedding, my family, my past, my blood, you deserve to know it all," Zuko opened his eyes.

He wants her to know the day he was assumed dead, to Ozai being the banished prince, as well as his own father... to Azula helping him, that he was second in line for the throne if anything were to happen to lu ten after iroh, that he was a prince of the fire nation once before. As well as the reason she was taken in the first place, not as a prisoner but to save them all. Her life was valuable.

If he was lucky.
Maybe he'd get to tell her himself.

One day.

—

"Katara,"

She felt the handcuff on her wrist taken off and saw the captain holding the key as he took the other cuff off the railing.

"May I speak to you in private?" Zuko asked softly close to her for only the water bender to hear.

"Sure, captain," Katara followed him to the side to speak. He looked at the waters cautiously as she looked at him confused.

"You okay?" She asked gently.

"Xan isn't doing well, I appreciate all you've done for him but his illness still is stronger than what we've got without that spirit water," he crossed his arms keeping a calm face.

"If the water doesn't work I'm forced to trade him down to someone else that I know at least has better sources than we do on this ship, depending on the time in general... you may be joining them," his gold eyes glanced back at her seeing the reaction.

"What do you mean time?" Katara asked in a low tone.

"Ozai, I want him dead, it's selfish of me wanting it to be something he suffers through not death is death, he'll be out of the way if he's dead," he nodded.

"Why are you telling me this?" She frowned.

"If you see him ever, you kill him before he kills you," Zuko glared down at her.

"I-I can't do that," Kataras eyes widen.

"It's not me being a jerk or thinking it's funny, Katara You need to kill him if you have the opportunity, that is my one order I need everyone on this ship to follow," he knitted his brows together.

"Why should I kill him? He's human like us, You said it yourself, we're all killers here, what makes him different?" She inhaled a deep breath.

"Because he would kill your brother and father on the spot if he knew you were with me," Zuko whispered in her ear. Her eyes widen again with a small gasp.

"You want everyone to live? You know what to do, you've seen him before," he looked down at her seriously.

She nodded.

"I need to hear you," he urged.

"I'll kill him if I see him," Katara whispered back.

"Again," Zuko nodded. 

"I'll kill Ozai if I see him, for my family," she bit with a sneer looking back at him. He smiled.

"Good," he patted her head before walking away.

Katara blinked confused now as she was left alone. Touching the top of her head where he touched and turned to watch the captain join his crew. That was an interesting conversation...