Love, On Read (MxM)

Chapter 18: Fake

A/N: it was in this moment, Mason knew, he f-ed up...or did he? 

Surprise update, I had this finished with Chapter 17, but I couldn't wait any longer and decided to post it after that bombshell lmao. If you haven't already, check out Chapter 17: PDA first :) Love ya <3

Ollie's POV

I heard the thud of a car door closing in the distance, but that had hardly fazed me in comparison to what Mason had done. However, the sound of the car startled Mason as he retreated back to the driver's seat. He blinked, shaking his head as if waking himself up from a nap before murmuring a soft, "sorry."

Only then did it really hit me what he had done. He kissed me. Mason kissed me. Me, of all people.

He rested his head against his steering wheel as I glanced out at the parking lot. What was that? I could still feel the feeling of his lips on mine, the feeling of shock still coursing through me in waves of aftershocks. Did Mason feel that way, was this his way of hinting that he had feelings for me?

"Sorry," he mumbled again into the steering wheel. "I shouldn't—should've asked or something."

"Mason—" I stopped myself but the question remained. What had Mason meant by that? He had never mentioned anything about his sexuality, but at the same time, was I missing something? Had the time we spent together meant something different to him, was this a proclamation of sorts? He didn't respond, so I dared to ask the question. "Are you—"

"I don't know," he said harshly, turning his head toward me, his temple still rested against the top of the wheel. He let out a groan before saying, "I really don't fucking know, Ollie."

The rain outside was heavier now, pounding against his car's roof in heavy thumps as his words echoed. It hadn't been the first time I heard Mason swear, but it had been the first time he's said it towards me, even if his statement was more reflecting to himself than me. Even with the car heater on, I brought Mason's suit closer to me, hoping it'd warm me up, anything to distract me from all of this.

"Well, it's ok to not know," I told him finally, remembering the time I felt the same way. It hadn't been a fast and done thing for me either, even if looking back on it, it felt silly to think that I had affections for girls at one point. "It's a process."

"Well, I shouldn't have done that."

"It's fine," I assured him, even though I wasn't sure if it was, what would this mean between us now? "It's just—it's normal to feel this way. And if it's because being around me made you start to question yourself, that's totally okay. And if you're not gay, or attracted to men in general, that's totally fine too. I was just curious if you had known or figured something out, and if that kiss had meant...well, more."

"I—" Mason started but turned his head away, shielding his face away from me. As calm as he probably thought I was, my brain was internally in overdrive; questions and different scenarios had played out in my head as Mason rested there. Had it not been for the rain, the silence would have been stifling. "I don't know. I guess I just..."

He didn't finish, rather groaned instead, running his hand through his hair. He breathed heavily for a bit before clearing his throat."You probably think I'm pathetic now. I'm sure if people knew, they'd definitely think I'm pathetic."

"It's not like I'd tell anyone, Mason. Why would I mention something like that, when it's this personal. I would never out somebody like that."

"I know," he said before sighing. "It's just stupid, and I can't believe I did that."

"Well, it's not stupid to kiss someone, Mason. And if this is how you feel, and who you truly feel who you are—"

"I am not coming out," he seethed in a tone I had never heard before. The hair on my neck and arms stood up, as my eyes widened. His body was rigid, the fierce look in his eyes was frightening, I couldn't suppress the fear from surfacing. Mason was never one to have a violent outburst, even during football games and the boys' stupid little spats over calls. But his whole demeanor seemed to change.