A Tale of Shadows - THE OUTDATED VERSION

Part 2, Chapter 1 - The Funeral

The day Jeffrey's funeral was held began with rain. Everyone was worried that it might not have been held, but, an hour before the start of it, the rain stopped. While walking towards the grave, Melinda overheard a group of people complaining about the constant rain. She was well aware that not everyone was affected by the hardships of fate as much as she was, but a part of her still wanted to yell at them for not looking at the bigger picture. Once they quit talking about it, she sighed in relief, looking at her heels immediately afterwards. They were fully covered in mud, but she didn't care. Her heart was just like the sky, still grey and full of clouds from the rain, but without rain falling from it at the moment. By glancing at the clouds, she knew that they wanted to release waterfalls from themselves once again, for they were heavy and radiating darkness, which they couldn't do in front of all the people who were there. She couldn't do it either because it wasn't the time yet. Nothing was closer to her heart than the feelings of those clouds, even if they couldn't think as she did. Something inside of them seemed alive, alive enough to be the only ones aside from her who could truly understand her emotions.

As expected, the funeral was hard to get through for her, especially at the beginning. She had to listen to a long monologue about how Jeffrey was very kind and was always there for those in need and that his sacrifice would always be remembered. It sounded almost exactly like all the other funeral monologues and was spoken in a monotone voice, but she noticed that the eyes of the speaker were glistening as if he were holding back tears. She could tell that he cared on more than a superficial level. It was something she noticed quite often when that particular speaker would speak, but this time, she could not move her eyes from him. She had missed a lot of his words that weren't among the more important ones, unable to avert her gaze or mind from that little hint of sorrow in his eyes. To her, it was like a paper cut on a bloody, bruised hand.

After some time, the speech had ended. Everyone began to cry, but none cried as she did. She whimpered and wailed and screamed the name of her former lover several times, which made some people give her odd looks, but then remember that they weren't in a position to judge. They all mourned for a little more while, and Melinda wished she could walk out, taking a deep breath since the scariest part was coming.

She observed unblinkingly as a group of people put Jeffrey into that cold, unwelcoming hole his body was destined to decay before becoming unrecognizable one day. She had no idea if there was an afterlife or not, but if there was, she counted on the existence of heaven and hell, hoping that he would find heaven and get eternal payment for all the suffering he had to go through. She had to suffer in life instead of him now, but her heart reminded her that he could have ended up in her position, and as an average Obscurian lived for two hundred years and they were only a year over forty, he would have lived a long time without her. "Time heals all wounds" is a phrase she had heard many times over the course of her life, yet her heartbreak appeared as if it would last forevermore.

As they dug him deeper and deeper in that dark hole, she sobbed and screamed even harder and louder than last time, with people still trying not to judge her because, even if they couldn't feel more than a mere fraction of her hurt, they were all hurt to some extent, and they couldn't imagine what being in her mind must have been like at that moment. She regretted not having a handkerchief with herself although she was in too much of a hurry to grab one, for her face was all covered in water and salt, as if seawater had been poured onto it. A moment later, she wondered how much that would have helped in the first place when even her heart couldn't bear the strength of her emotions, let alone a handkerchief.

When they had finished putting the body into the hole, she wanted to cut the ropes that held her brain and her sanity together and mindlessly run over to the hole, picking him up from it for at least a brief farewell. An even worse thing was that they still had to cover him with the pile of ground that had been gathered near the grave, and nothing could make her body move at that moment. She could only stand broken and helpless, letting herself carve the fact that Jeffrey would never return into her mind, carrying it with her whenever she would yearn for him to do it, hoping that she would move on as soon as possible. She had to remind herself that necromancy would bring him back as a shell of his former self, unable to do anything except for what she tells him to do, and just the thought of him becoming her slave horrified her.

If someone had told her that an eternity had passed when the business of digging Jeffrey into his hole was over, she would have believed them completely. Instead, as everyone departed, Douglas came over to her, nudging her. She stared at him blankly, needing a few seconds to adapt to that surprise. He was smiling, which surprised her even more. Due to her not knowing what to say, he started the conversation.

"I know just how much it hurts, Melinda, and I am heartbroken too, but we must remember that it was most likely what celestial forces wanted of Jeffrey - to sacrifice himself for the greater good. Yes, this must be making you even angrier than before, but you have to accept it. It is hard, and I am struggling to accept it as well, but no one will ever betray his memory, keep that in mind. He will live on in the hearts of all the citizens of this country, and many generations down the line with them, for what he did was great and very important. And, I am sorry to bring this up, but my parents said that the marriage has to happen soon, not wanting to waste time at all and knowing that no one would judge us. It's not as if anyone thinks that this is a love marriage, even the dumbest of fools. Quite the opposite, actually. They are going to be grateful that we are doing everything we can to recover this country from its ruined physical state. That's why I am looking forward to marrying you, my dear Melinda. In the place of the radical and traitorous Maria, you are going to be the heroine this country needs to survive and strive for humongous goals, especially when there are no true enemies left now. Anyway, that's all I had to say, and I hope that you are not overwhelmed. I wish you the best and prepare for the wedding quickly because it is in three days. Goodbye, my love."

As he walked away from her with a smile still on his face, she stood there like a statue for several minutes, desiring that people would stop heaping responsibilities onto her all the time.