Eisoptrophobia - a ranboo angst

Chapter 3 - A Message from hell

Warnings- Xanax pills, blade, mention of suicide, ED, derealization , blood

I pulled myself from the floor, dragging my feet to the sink. I washed my face and did my very best to look away from the mirror. I grabbed my toothbrush, putting a glob of toothpaste on it and began brushing. I started to hear yelling come from the kitchen, my mom had woken up and she probably pissed the John off somehow. This was different from their fights before though, it sounded like my mom was in the lead. I heard our front door slam, before spitting for this last time and putting my toothbrush in a bag to take with me. I bent down to grab a few more hygienic things from my cupboard when my door opened, "Hey!" I heard my mom's voice call out before she sat on my bed.

"Oh, hi mom!" I said with a smile walking into the closet to grab my suitcase. I picked it up and brought it out into my room, starting to collect my clothes and put them in there.

"Uh..so, I think John may have left."

My eyes lit up looking back at her, "For good?" 

"No..well- I don't know but he probably won't be back for awhile." My shoulders relaxed, I was no longer worried about my mom being alone with him, so now it'll just be her and my grandparents which will be okay. I sighed and continued to pack, folding clothes and fitting them in when my mom put a orange pill bottle in my suitcase. "Just in case." He said to me before walking out, confused I picked it up. Looking at the label, Xanax. My eyes widened gripping the bottle harder and reading it again, it was prescribed for my bio father, but I hadn't seen him in ages. 

buzz buzz

I looked down at my phone, picking it up and turning it on. I watched as Tommyinnit blew up my phone.

Tom- Hi :) 

Tom- You're coming tomorrow right?

Tom- wanna vlog this week?? I was thinking we rent out a skate park even tho we cant skate. 

Tom- Its alright if you dont tho big man! I know you might be tired this week so i can always re-schedule and do smth with wilbur and jack :)

I smiled, Tommy is always so sweet about things. Although his prosona online is annoying and rude he really is polite and caring. He never puts himself first and always thinks about others. The skate part sounded fun, so I agreed.

YOU- Yeah! That'd be so fun :] 

Tom- Great, we can film on Thursday that way i'll have it out by Monday, sound good?

YOU- Mhm, solid plan, yk who all will be there?

Tom- Yeah, I invited Niki and George, Tubso isnt coming tho bc he has some lore planned for that day. 

YOU- Alright, cool! See ya Wednesday:)

Tom- Bye

I finished packing, closing the suitcase and zipping it up. I sat up straight and stretched my back out, it being sore from bending over. I stood up, lifting up the suitcase and standing it up too before I remembered somethings, my blade. I walked into my bathroom and picked it up off the counter about to put it in my bag when my mom called me. I quickly threw it under my bed and walked over to her.

time skip

Ran into my bedroom and grabbed my suitcase, pulling up the handle and rolling it out of the house, throwing it in the car. I walked up to the passenger door, swinging it open and ducking down to get in.  I greeted my mom with a smile as she turned on the car, she smiled back and fixed my hair. "Cover it up." She said, handing me foundation. I nodded and pulled down the mirror, gently applying the skin colored liquid onto my bruise.

"This is stupid." I spat, blending it in and throwing the mirror back up. I set the foundation in a cup holder. I rested my head down on the window and closed my eyes. I was woken up by the sound of my phone going off, I picked it up. All of my notifications we're from that bastard, bugging me to make my mom unblock him.

My mom was talking but her voice faded out as she spoke, a loud ringing noise replaced it as I read the texts. Everything they said craved into my mind like a chisel. I read them over and over again, examining the punctuation, the spelling, the time they were sent at. Everything. How could a few words affect me so greatly? Why did I believe every word that came out of his disgusting mouth.

It's all your fault. The texts read, I scrolled out reading more. It's all your fault she's like this. If she wouldn't have hooked up with that asshole she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and you wouldn't have been born. She wouldn't have broken up with me the first time and made me like this. You ruined our lives, we were happy til you came. We loved each other, then she whored herself out and fell in love with you. You, pathetic, good-for-nothing you. Do you see all the stress you cause her? Streaming all the damn time and meeting up with friends. Ever think about helping her out for a change. Maybe stop eating everything, yeah? Maybe just move out. You have the money, but you're so goddamn dependant on people you couldn't leave. No, no because if you did you'd have no reason to not kill yourself right? Even better. Just go and let your mom and I live a happy life.  

It's my fault. All my fault. He's right, if I wasn't born this wouldn't have happened. None of this. I looked up from my phone and out in front of me, it was dark. An empty road, no cars. The only light coming from our headlamp, confused I looked over to my mom.

Sick. I felt sick at what I saw: A distorted version of my face, shattered like a mirror. I dropped my phone and pulled the door handle, I pushed and pushed up no matter how hard I tired it wouldn't open. The tears poured down my face as I looked over again. It turned it's head to look at me, its movements stiff and jerky. I open its mouth to speak,

  "ϒϕὑ Βεττεʀ ₩₳κ₠ ⨄ῥ ₿€₣θʀΕ ÿΘὓ Ϝ⨂ɾġἒͳ Ησᾠ"

My eye's shot open, sitting up quickly I hit my head on the top of the car. My body shook as I looked around in fear, we had barely left our neighbourhood. I looked to the drivers seat when I saw my worried mother staring back at me. "Hunny?! Are- Are you okay? You're sobbing oh my gosh!" I only looked at her, taking deep shaky breaths and pulling out my phone, No notifications. 

I sighed, letting out a sob. "N-Nothing," I turned off my phone and looked over to her with a smile, "j-just a bad dream was all."

 I saw her shoulders relax and she ran her fingers through my messy hair, "You're alright, love. I'm right here." Her attention turned back to the road as the stop light changed. 

'I'm alright.' I smiled, calmly. 'We're okay.'