Criminal Minds One-Shots

hold onto me 'cause I'm a little unsteady (Hotch x Reader)

This was the worst place you'd had to search in a while, maybe not the worst on the scale of mentally scarring unsub torture houses you'd dug through but the worst in the terms of filth. It became apparent the second you walked in that keeping his house clean was not at the top of this unsubs list. There was a thick layer of dust across every surface and a mountain of plates, glasses and take away containers had been left out to mould in most rooms, the worst of it concentrated in the kitchen.

The feeling of uneasiness crept into your chest as you made your way around, conscious of your movements as you tried your best not to touch off anything. The field was no place for your anxieties and you always did your best to keep them at bay as much as you could but sometimes - times like this - something just got under your skin and you couldn't shake the feeling. The precinct received an anonymous tip naming this house as the home base of your unsub and you rode out with Morgan and Hotch to check it out. 

You'd since spilt up to search around after clearing the house and you were now standing alone in the middle of what seemed to have once been a study. You made your way over to the desk to examine an old journal in hopes that it could give you some insight into the life of your unsub. The journal didn't seem helpful as you quickly skimmed over the page it was left open on, it more than likely belonged to the previous owners of the house and not your unsub at all.

You moved to turn the page over wanting to make sure there wasn't anything useful but as you did your wrist brushed against something on the table, the sudden feeling making you drop the journal back onto the table. You weren't entirely sure what it was that you'd touched but it left an uncomfortable feeling against your skin.

"Y/L/N, you alright?" You pulled your gaze away from your wrist and turned to see Hotch standing in the doorway, watching you curiously. 

"I um, yeah, sorry I just I thought I found something but it's nothing." You stuttered out trying to refocus yourself on the task at hand instead of on the way your skin now felt like it was crawling, or the growing urge to run to the nearest bathroom and scrub your hands clean. Not that you'd actually be able to clean anything in this house, in fact, you guessed that the bathroom was probably in worse condition than this room.

"Okay well I think we're done here, there's nothing else we can find. It's time to head home for the night, we can regroup in the morning." That was the one good thing about this case, it was based close enough to Quantico that you could go home to your own apartment rather than to some hotel every night. You most certainly needed that right now. All you wanted to do was get home to somewhere that felt safe.

You nodded and followed Hotch downstairs as you made your way outside, staying quiet as you went. Working with profilers it was hard to keep anything a secret and most of the time someone would always pick up on it when something was wrong. You could tell that was happening now as Hotch let you walk ahead of him, his eyes watching you closely as you went. He didn't say anything, clearly not wanting to press the issue and you appreciated that.

"Y/N, ride with me." Hotch insisted once you got outside, pulling the passenger door open for you. "I'm heading your way anyway so I'll drop you home."

"Sure, thank you, Hotch." You agreed after a moment's hesitation. You were sure you wouldn't be great company with the growing panic in your chest- that only seemed to be getting worse but frustratingly slowly - but you could use the distraction.

The drive to your apartment wasn't that long, twenty minutes at max but now that you had stopped and allowed your brain a moment to catch up with itself every minute seemed to drag out forever.  Your initial fears had just continued to grow sending you into a tailspin of anxiety until it felt like it was pushing down on your chest, making it hard for you to breathe. While you'd enjoyed the silence at first it was now only making you feel worse as you had no way to shut out any of your thoughts. You were so focused on keeping your hands away from your clothes, not wanting to have to worry about changing completely once you got inside that you'd barely noticed the SUV coming to a stop.