Third Time's The Charm

Chapter 4

It had been a few days since Maya and I had attended our appointments with Diane. I still hadn't figured out how to tell my wife how I felt about the little boy or how I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him ever since. I had already looked up the home that the bambino wore on his t-shirt several times. The place seemed to be well maintained and very family oriented. The website pictured several of the children participating in various activities. I also came across a group photo of all of the kids residing in the home. There seemed to be at least forty boys of all different ages . The photo was dated just last month, so I scanned it hoping to see if our little boy was pictured. If he was in the picture it meant that he could still be in the home.

"Honey, I'm home!" Maya spoke.

"Merda bambina! You scared me!" I responded, nearly jumping out of my seat.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she laughed, "what were you doing?"

I was tempted to lie and tell her I was just online shopping but there honestly wouldn't be a better time to tell her. I motioned for Maya to sit on the empty space on the couch, "umm so remember the little boy with the flowers last week?" I asked.

Maya thought for a minute and then responded, "oh yes! He was so cute and so sweet."

"Well, what if I told you that I want to go look for him?" Maya gave me a confused look before looking down at her lap. I could tell she was thinking of how she should respond and that she had an idea of where this conversation was going. Maya's hesitance spoke volumes. I prepared myself for the worst and decided that I would be the one to break the silence.

"You know what? Nevermind bella. Forget I asked," I closed my laptop and moved to get up from the couch. Maya grabbed my wrist and signaled for me to sit back down.

"Carina, listen. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't want you to. What I don't want is to see you get your hopes up for something that might not work out," she said.

She was right, I already did have my hopes up. I was already so attached to this child that I could no longer picture a future without him.

"I know where you're coming from and I appreciate your concern bambina, but what have we got to lose?" I could tell Maya was thinking about it.

"Okay, let's say we look for him, where do we even start, and why are you so convinced that this kid is in the system?" she said, making it obvious that she hadn't noticed the t-shirt he was wearing when we first saw him.

"Well, when he first came up to us he was wearing a shirt that said 'St. James' Home for Boys' on it," Maya nodded as if she was letting me know that she was listening, " kind of like the ones primary school kids wear when out on field trips," I continued.

"Okay, I see what you're saying, but that doesn't mean anything, Carina. I mean he could have been wearing an old shirt or maybe a hand me down," she shot me down.

"I understand that bambina. That's why I was looking it up when you came in. You know, I expected you to be hesitant, but I was still expecting you to be a little supportive Maya!" I shot back.

"Why are you freaking out? Why can't you can't you just be supportive?!" I asserted.

"Freak out? Im being realistic. Fuck Carina! This isn't something that you just take on from one day to the next! We also just suffered a major loss and I'm not sure either of us are ready for the disappointment that is more than likely to come from this!" she yelled back.

"Bambina, I am in no way taking this lightly. I understand what it's going to take! Yes, it may be on a whim but the only thing that is on impulse right now is the fact that we would be adopting a child instead of me carrying our baby! Maya, the possibility of us becoming parents is something we have been discussing for months. Months! So you accusing me of making this choice from one day to the next is not fair!"