Color of My Pain

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Stepping into his bedroom was like splashing cold water in his face. Yoongi felt the weight of the past few weeks fall from his shoulders as he fell onto his own bed. The familiar smell of the house, the chill feeling from the windows being open for too long, the afternoon light, all of it felt good. A stark contrast to the sterile, chemical smell of the hospital and the crinkly rough sheets.

Hoseok swings around the door frame and leans into the room, eyes resting on Yoongi as he curled up under his fleece blanket. He was just so energetic with pent up energy from being trapped in one room and sick for two and a half weeks. Yoongi however, was exhausted.

"Get over here and nap with me please. You have too much energy. " He yawned.

Hoseok shook his head, laughing lightly, "I feel like I've slept enough to fuel me for three months."

"And here I am not lasting three hours, what will this mean for our future?"

Jeongguk wandered in, shuffling his feet timidly behind Seok. "Yoon?"

"Come here Gguk, Seokie hyung doesn't want to nap with me." He smiled softly, reaching out his arm to lift up his blanket.

The boy smiled like he was trying not to and tiptoed past Hoseok, who was watching them fondly, and snuggled beneath the blanket, curling into Yoongi's side.

"We'll wake you two when they're back with dinner."

Yoongi breathed in the flowery shampoo smell of Jeongguk's hair, basking in the warmth that rolled off him and the soft hums that left his lips as he breathed.

Their trip home had drained him, visiting with everyone had drained him. He couldn't imagine how Gguk had managed to stay big for so long, the situation had clearly been stressing him out too.

For whatever grand reason, the whole group of adults had decided they should have a recovery celebration. And crazier still was that Hwasa and Moonbyul had decided to host, even though the majority of the party lived hours away. Oddly enough, nobody seemed to mind that too much.

Gguk dropped off rather quickly, but Yoongi was restless. All he could think about was that so few people knew that the sickness they had was still possible. And the guilt from having blocked Hoseok off so stubbornly being the cause they'd gotten sick at all.

. . .

"How could you do that? I thought we had trust." Hoseok glared. "It doesn't matter that we're soulmates, I can't be with you if this is how it's going to be. You're as bad as you're dad."

Yoongi felt his stomach drop, Hyungwon was staring at them - everyone was. And Jeongguk was crying. Was it raining? "I'm not like my dad, I'm sorry. Please, I'll do better. Hobi."

Jeongguk's cries were getting louder, as loud as the sound of the rain. Hoseok turned his back - everyone did. They were all leaving him. Hoseok. Taehyung. Hyejin. Moonbyul. Minhyuk. He could hear his dad laughing in a hollow angry way. He started crying too, matching Jeongguk's sobs and shaking terribly. Everything was shaking.

"Hun? Yoongi? Wake up, honey." Hyejin's eye's stared down at him, brimming with worry. "Were you having a nightmare? You were crying. Jeongguk couldn't wake you." She pulled him close in a tight hug, "You must still be exhausted. I'll get you some water."

"Where's Hobi?" The air in the room was stifling. Yoongi couldn't breathe.

"He's with Tae and Gguk in the other room, I can get him for you."

In a flash, Hwasa was gone, his door opened wide enough for him to hear the adults talking in the living room and Gguk sniffling in the guest room. Hoseok slipped in the open door, glass in hand and clicked the door shut behind him.

Yoongi felt more tears welling up in his throat at the concern in Hoseok's eyes.

"Hey, shh, it's alright, I'm right here." Hoseok slid in next to him and pulled him into his arms.

"Don't leave me," Yoongi whispered, "please don't leave me."

Sorry for the wait loves, life's been kicking my butt, been busy, sick, and sad but here's an update :)

i hope you all had lovely holidays ♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎