Color of My Pain

3| Black

Sleeping in a car is not something Hoseok did regularly. It forced him to wake up early and shower before school. Even if most people had a fierce love for that 'new car smell' it wasn't much of a deodorant. He crept quietly upstairs and messed up his bed, hoping to make it look like he'd been there all night.

He showered quickly and packed a bag for Namjoon's. They planned on decorating and then going to sleep before dealing with everything tomorrow.

He knew Namjoon was more nervous than he let on. The expectations of being the perfect couple were stressful. But he also knew that his best friend would be just fine.

"You're up early." His mom leaned against the doorway, arms crossed.

"Couldn't sleep." He shrugged noncommittally.

She smiled softly and sat on the edge of his bed. "I know it's hard."

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"Seeing others find their other halves. But I promise Hoseok, once you graduate. You can travel the world and never come home until you find him." She promised.

Hobi knew it wasn't unreasonable. He knew some people never found their soulmates. He knew he'd been granted a mercy. He just had to finish his schooling. It was a very intelligent condition.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just..." afraid i'll be too late. " a little jealous, I guess." (A LITTLE JEALOUSY)

Mom rose, patting his arm. "You'll get there. Dad's making pancakes."

"I'll tell Joon." Pancakes had always been code for: Have Joon stop by.

"He's already here."

Chuckling, they made their way downstairs. Hobi's parents had always treated Namjoon as the nephew they never had. None of his aunts or uncles had any sons.

Namjoon was halfway through his pancakes and mid-interrogation when they made it to the kitchen.

"So how does he like your parents?" His dad asked, leaning forward with his fingers templed beneath his chin, hair and glasses askew.

"They really get along, Jin is easy to love. You'll like him too." Joon shoveled in another bite.

As his mom was about to start her q&a, Hobi held up a hand.

"No cross examinations before breakfast."

She pouted, but winked. "I guess we'll find it all out tomorrow."

Namjoon and Hobi left early to pick up Jin and Jimin. They were quiet, still sleepy from waking up.

At a red light, Hobi felt black bloom across his face, then in his stomach. He let out a choked sputter of breath.

"Joon," he managed. "You need to drive."

Namjoon nodded, wordlessly switching with him. Hoseok curled into the smallest position he could and turned up the radio. He bore the black, he tried to limit his lavender worry, he tried to make it easier. He could feel the worried and confused glances exchanged over the top of his head. And the look that focused on his and Namjoon's hands, which were locked in a strong grip.

Hoseok ignored that look.

By the time Namjoon had parked the car, the pain was murky brown beneath his skin. He waited for Seokjin and Jimin to get out before he uncurled himself and let go of Namjoon's hand. Joon, who sat patiently. Quiet for just a moment.

"How is he."

"He's hurting. But not as badly. I'll be fine." He breathed in. "Go. I think I upset Jin."

Namjoon looked slightly troubled, but agreed, ruffling Hobi's hair. "Don't stress yourself out, okay."

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and jogged to catch up with his soulmate. Hoseok slumped in his seat, allowing himself 5 minutes of weakness. Of lavender. Five minutes to cry.

"I swear babe. As soon as I can."