Color of My Pain

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Yoongi clutched at Hoseok, whispering his plea like a prayer. Hobi's warmth was all around him, his voice, his breath, all in his ears - but it couldn't be enough. He needed all of Hoseok, needed to be soaked through like Hoseok's tear-damp shoulder. He was scared wanting so much would lead to being sick again, cause a relapse, melt the pair together. And yet his every cell cried out for Hoseok. His throat burned. His eyes were swollen with tears.

Hoseok's cool lips pressed to his forehead, whispering quiet reassurances, hushing, quieting, calming. Yoongi felt like he was in heat, every touch lightning, every part of him on fire - he was burning, and Hoseok was rain in this desert of his panic.

"I need you Seok-ah, stay." He let himself be pulled upright, ever so gently, and a cool glass was pressed to his lips. It soothed his throat, and he realized Hoseok was speaking to him, eyes cloudy with worry.

"I need you to breathe Min Yoongi. Are you listening?" Hoseok held his chin firmly, holding his eyes just as effectively.

Yoongi was suddenly aware of the pain in his fingers, he had ripped the sleeve of Hoseok's shirt and he was shaking. He recoiled, nail snagging on the pulled thread. Hoseok seemed unfazed, just concerned for Yoongi's sake. That's what he needed to let himself collapse forward, folding himself to fit snugly into Hoseok's frame. Just hold me like this. Even if I don't deserve it. Even if you leave me tomorrow, hold me today.

Hoseok held him as though he heard the fears in Yoongi's heart, cradling him through the fading panic, seceding like waves.

When Yoongi woke again, his head was on Hoseok's chest, the younger slumped against the headboard as he dozed. A bout of laughter drifted through the open door. That's what had woken him.

He could smell fried chicken and heard the clinking of glass, hushed conversation, spotted with Moonbyul's deep chuckle. He turned his head just slightly and pressed a kiss to Hoseok's chest, whose feathery breaths lifted the light tufts of hair from Yoongi's forehead. He smiled and pushed at his chest gently.

"Seok-ah? Hungry?"

The younger tensed as he stretched blinking hard and letting out a yawn, humming a sleepy yes.

"Feeling better?"

Yoongi nodded, his face warm with embarrassment. Logically, he knew Hoseok cared for him, and yet there was this gnawing feeling of inferiority, of feeling like a burden. He pushed the thought away, breathing deeply to catch a whiff of the chicken and his stomach grumbled a response.

Hoseok giggled and then Yoongi giggled. They were smiling at each other and giggling like schoolgirls. Yoongi laughed so hard he forgot to feel embarrassed. Hoseok held his hand and stood, ever gently pulling Yoongi along.

He felt so warm, the air, the smells, the sounds. He was entirely immersed in the familiar and safe. He was so happy to be home.

what's this? an ? update? from me? impossible 🫢 sorry it's short ily<333