My diary

Chapter 1.5

Friday, 2nd March 2021

15.00

I'm sitting in the right corner at the cafeteria observing everyone around me, and I know this booklet is for important feelings that I have, but I sure ass hell don't give a fuck right now. I'm absolutely done with this school, because the reason I'm in the cafeteria is because I've been kicked out of my class today. You know who the reason behind it all was? (Hint hint; she's toxic)

All feelings are important.

Ah yea, Samira *rolling eyes* to be honest with you, I'm really hungry but that's not really the point here. The point is that the overly obssesed girl with Rachid always has something to say. She kept bragging on about the fact that she's now dating Rachid (which isn't true: obssesed) and which also isn't something you should brag about, because as I already said: has she seen him.

When aren't you rolling your eyes? And second I want to see a picture of this guy.

And not to be mean, but Marouane has ruined my plan on taking revenge on Yassin and in someway made me feel bad for Adam at the same time. Next, I do not have ADHD. I don't know where he got that from? Where is Soufiane by the way, because he's not showing up to school.

This whole alinea proves me you do have ADHD

This man keeps on giving me mental disorders or going on about having them but, I sure ass hell don't understand why he would think that, and besides I really don't have that much issues.

I don't give you mental disorders, you already have them

18.00
I'm walking towards my house (yes, I'm walking and writing) and I had to stop writing at school, because Rachid kept on looking at me with a hella creapy look, and it made me think he could read my diary, which is impossible because he was like far away you know?

As I said, I need a picture

And Soufiane talked to me! Not to sound like a overly obssesed bitch *kuch kuch Samira*, but he smiled my way and said 'hey, did you do the homework for biology?', funny that he thinks I do homework, but it was cute that he asked. After that we just kept on talking about homework of other classes, which I didn't do but he kept on asking. He has to high expectations from me.

First, I'm going to give you an hour tutoring everytime you come and second, I don't think he's talking. I think he's a dumb ass clown asking for answers

It's just this year than I'm done, next year I'll be gone. Layla came up to me today and asked about my relationship with Rachid, while Samira kept on listening from far away (as I said, obsessed). To be honest I can litteraly report it to the police, because she's stalking me.

Doesn't count as stalking if she goes to the same school as you.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the fair alone, because as I said I don't have any friends. Next to Naoual, but she's a online friend fom the Netherlands who clearly doesn't care about me as much as I do, because she just doesn't come to visit me. (Love you) 

As much as you? Did you go to the Netherlands to visit her??

Naoufal asked if he should come with me, but I saw him being all excited about going to the fair with his bestfriends and I didn't want to ruin that for him. (If you're telling anyone this, I'm going to kill you Marouane) they might think I'm 'nice' and we don't want that.

You care about human beings?
We? Who the fuck is we?

And here is my explanation for that, because you always tell me at our sessions to explain myself. As the famous Damon Salvatore one's said 'when people see good, they expect good & I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations'. You understand now? I don't want to do what people expect from me.

Nobody forces you to do anything, you can live your life your way.

For example; if I dress nice once and someone from my school sees me, they'll expect me to dress nice at school too, no because I'm to lazy for that. I prefer going to school in hoodies, pajama's and jogging pants. Understand? I hope you do.

I always did.

Maybe one day I'll be nice to people, but it's certain that day isn't going to come now, or anywhere near now. I'm almost home, I just wish I had that damn scooter I always wanted. Why is it so hard for my parents to understand I don't drive like a hooligan. What can you expect? They set me up for this shit system where I'm litteraly talking to a book

Am I a book?
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Dear Muberra,
I understand there's a lot going on in life and it might be a little to overwhelming, but as god said in his book 'I do not burden a soul with something he can not handle'. I do want to say that your parents really want the best for you, even if you ride perfectly? Other people might not, and I know what you're going to say "what's the difference between a car and a scooter?" In a car you're saver ;) maybe I'll lend you my scooter once. Maybe!