Tuesday February 27th, 2021
20.35
To be honest, I've never had a diary, so how to approach you is a different story. All I know is that right now (this book) is the only way out for me. I have really reached the peak of my life.
You'll be okay.
Of course I will introduce myself and my family, both my old friends and new friends, so you know who or what I am. One day I can look back with pride in this book ... whether that day will come is the big question.
Hope is a nice word, right? You can also say a beautyfull word, but it has many drawbacks. Hope is something I don't really believe in, but I have been forced to believe in it. I wouldn't be there without hope
The performance goes as follows, I am Mubera 17 years old and I live in New Orleans. I go to a community center for young people with problems three times a week. Not something I'm particularly proud of or somewhere I want to be at all. It is more that I am forced to go there. With guidance.
For your own good :)
The story is simple: my school thinks I'm insane. That story will come later, after I have introduced everyone. Well, you can tell from my name that I am Turkish, at least I assume that. I have three brothers, 1 of whom is married and moved to Spain.
Not particularly insane
The two who still live at home are both my step brothers. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they are sometimes a bit more annoying than I expected. Although this is my diary, I can be a bit more comprehensive.
Big words, proud of you Muberra
My old friends are a group of three: Layla, Khadija and Samira. Don't exactly understand why I present them as my old friends? They are just toxic and I don't hang out with them anymore. In addition, we have four boys from my class to be introduced: Naoufal, Yassin, Adam and Rachid.
Nice guys!
Why am I introducing them? They are annoying and get on my nerves. They also recently started to reserve a big place in my life. I'm not sure why as I've never talked to them. Now everyone has been introduced and I can explain to you what a bad day I had.
Oh? So not nice guys?
Today I was approached at exactly 1 pm via a message from my well-known toxic best friend Samira ... she approached me with a text of 100 words? While I was in class?? I made it clear to her that I was in class and told her that I will read it later.
Should've blocked her.
She then starts calling me, to which I ask the teacher if I can pick it up, the teacher quietly says "5 minutes break for everyone" I pick up the phone and she starts babbling on, not exactly something I understood from that. All I know is she doesn't want to be friends anymore because I don't pay her attention?
Good, she's gone.
When I calmly explain to her that I have psychological problems, she hangs up and says quietly via Messages "arrange your psychological problems and then walk back to me". No thanks! Shall I stop and tell you I was sitting next to Adam in class? I've never talked to those guys, even though we've been in each other's classes for six months.
Bitch? The fuck, die?
Besides, as if it couldn't get any worse, I also get to hear by phone that my old neighbour has passed away. Frustrated I went to the school bathroom and smashed the bathroom mirror in to little pieces out of anger. Short story summarised a teacher saw me and thought I was a psychopath.
Okey, maybe not a psychopath
She decided to call my parents and counselor and ask if they could send me to the community center for troubled children. Of course they don't trust me and I need guidance every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, as it were, for the rest of my life, as it were, but those are the days when they have to pay extra attention to me.
We do trust you!
Who? The three volunteers who thought they were funny! The one and only Adam, Naoufal and Yassin who decided to introduce themselves as volunteers to my teacher to guide me. They do this completely explicetly to embarrass me.
Why should you be embarrassed, give more explanations!
I know that for 199%, not that there is a day that I live without struggling against this stupid choice of the teacher. Whether I have a choice? No, because my parents agreed. To be honest, the only person I don't like is Adam because he's the know-it-all. "No you have to do it like this" shut up.
Might know what you're talking about :)
-
Muberra, I'm really proud of what you have told me today via this 'diary' I'm just happy that there's a place where you can go all crazy with your imagination and feelings without worrying. If any of those boys bother you again you should come my way and tell me that again or write more about it in this diary! And yet if there are many backward hope, it really helpes you coming around, so hold on to it a little tighter (it'll be okay)
YOU ARE READING
My diary
AléatoireWhat if you found a book where you could write everything down, every memory, every word you told and every thought you had. What if that was your only way out of this world? What if it was the only thing that could help you handle your pain?
