My diary

Chapter 1.9

Monday, March 5th 2021

21.00
My brother Sami woke me up at 7:30 this morning. I haven't introduced him much, because he's not always home. He still lives with his mother, so I rarely see him. Besides the fact that he and I don't get along that much, we haven't spoken that much since he decided to live with his mom. I don't particularly hate him for it, but it feels like he's neglecting me.

Do you know the reason behind it?

I have to go to school and then to the community center. Sami wants to talk to me when I get home, I don't understand why he suddenly wants to talk. Besides, if he tries to control me like Zakaria did, I wouldn't feel hurt like I do now, I'd much rather get angry. He hasn't talked to me in forever and now all of a sudden he wants to have a say in this.

you shouldn't prejudice others

After deciding to leave home to go to school, I found myself at the bus station. not even seconds later, a car with Berkay arrived and told me to get in. Well, I'd rather not follow orders, but I sort of promised to behave. I don't know who told him to take me to school, but I do like not getting on a bus for once. He took me to school and then left immediately for wherever he needed to be.

Suspicious

He was dressed in a suit, so I think it has something to do with work. I don't give a shit, but a suit? So early in the morning. Walking into the school I was distracted by Rachid, something about him knowing Berkay. 'He works as a security guard at some stores. I even saw him at the target once, and he also plays soccer with my brother,' he says with a laugh. Like we're some kind of friends?

The audacity

'Is that your boyfriend? Or? Is it your security guard, little swifty' he says with a grin. 'You know he's kinda cute, I don't think as cute as you darling' he says as he straightens his shirt. 'I'll see you after class, or during class. It depends' he says winking at me and then walks away. This man is on another level of delulu. His delusions make him seem much worse than before.

Darling? Hold on, how did this happen?

Where did he get the nerve to call me Swifty? And darling? Like what the fuck. I followed my lessons, like a normal person. Difficulty understanding some subjects due to the fact that I have the dumbest teacher there can be. Then I went to the community center with Yassin, because Naoufal has to work and Adam has to look after his little brother. I think that was a lie, but honestly I wouldn't want him here, so it's okay.

I have not seen him in a while...

After 5 minutes of walking, Yassin decided to open his mouth. 'I know I haven't been there much, but spill the tea,' he says with a chuckle. "I'm glad you asked because I've been wanting to get it off my chest for a while." I lie out loud. "Aside from the fact that Naoufal has been a sweetheart, Rachid suddenly tried to flirt with me this morning, and my brother hired a security guard to keep an eye on me," I usually say annoyed knowing his ass couldn't help it.

It doesn't really matter wether he can do something about it or not. It's great that you can put things of your chest to him, he is a nice guy.

I just wanted him to feel guilty for not being nice to me. I don't know why I wanted to because he hasn't been mean either. He was just there, not giving me any attention, and I didn't particularly want his attention. I'd rather someone show interest than walk next to me every day and ignore my existence. 'So I missed some things, first of all, Naoufal has always been dear to everyone,

I understand, lay your feelings open to him. Talk about it and tell him how that experience was for you.

I wouldn't want to put words on his mouth. Although he does tend to be a bit toxic when it comes to certain things so you should watch out for that. But then again Rachid has always been complicated so I think maybe he discussed this with Samira? I mean, did she come to you to ask what he said? I do not think so. And so to the last topic, your stepbrother is still your brother, so he might think this is best for you.

I kind of had that feeling to, I mean why else was he talking like that about Berkay?

Try it out," he says, and suddenly I think I might like this guy. The fact that he tried to make all things seem so easy, like I was bothered about such simple things. I mean, why didn't he come up with this kind of information sooner. I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the way until we arrived.

As I said talk about it.

In retrospect I saw all the nonsense that Marouane decided to respond to my journey yesterday. And to be honest, Marouane's opinion no longer counts. He doesn't like me and/or isn't in love with me, I have a right to talk about murder in my diary and I don't think Zakaria deserves any mercy. Yes mercy, like an action movie.

Why are you saying my name like someone else is reading this? Next to that, my opinion should be the only one that counts.

I also agree with some of his opinions. Like hating Zakaria at some points and he still hates Samira, maybe less than me, but you know I appreciate that. I do agree with the fact that he is proud of me, because why shouldn't he be? Besides that, I may not like this community center for some reason.

Stop talking to me like I am someone else. What do you mean with his? I am a 'you'.

One of the biggest reasons is the fact that they play cards with a challenge if you lose. Well, normally you get slapped by everyone if you lose, but after I signed up they decided to turn it into challenges. Nassim had to drink an egg and if he turned out to get salmonella; I'm very sorry, I didn't agree with the challenge. I asked them if it wouldn't be better to let him do the shopping for us, but they disagreed. 'He's a boy after all, the challenges should be harder,' they said.

He kind of has a point there. Do you want to drink eggs?

Yassin thought it was quite funny, he stood up for me afterwards when someone decided to get mad at me. Only because I caught him cheating, and Yassin thought it was funny to embarrass him. Not long after that we ate some pizzas, talked about our feelings and someone even cried. My heart goes out to Samuel whose crush used him for homework answers. #can't relate #Soufiane

Finally, you noticed.

And yes, he uses me for homework, but I'm smarter. I use him for... You know, it makes me feel good that he talks to me... bye.

Oh my gawd.. stop it

Dear Muberra,
I am proud of the fact that you are opening up more. The advice Yassin gave you was very helpful. I mean, he gave you hints, like in an investigation, and he spills the tea. A great guy, you should talk to him more. Besides, boys will be boys, so drinking eggs isn't such a bad thing, and cheating is something they'll always do. And a boy with a broken heart comes by quite often.