Worth falling for

Finding out some things

Emily:
I was mentally kicking myself for even saying how I felt about Alison in the first place. I knew that this is how she was going to react but I really thought she was asleep.
The pain of losing something you never even had is indescribable. It's like waking up on Christmas, knowing that there are presents out there waiting for you but then you go out to get them and they're gone.
Alison was finally opening up to me and I ruined it. So yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking all day.

"Hey!" Ben called out to me as I was walking to my car. It was twenty minutes after school had been out and barely anybody was here.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked walking to my car.

He joined my side, "I knew you had stayed after school for lab so I decided to wait for you."

"Oh, thank you." I smiled sweetly and he wrapped his arm around me. Flashes of what happened yesterday popped into my head but I shoved them away. We made it to my car and I opened my door. He shoved it closed and he had that mean glint in his eye again.

"What are you doing?" I asked fearfully.

"You weren't going to kiss me goodbye?" He growled into my ear. I winced at his voice. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him quickly. He moved his lips to my neck and started kissing it roughly.

"Okay, enough Ben. You can't treat me like this." I shoved him but he caught my arm.

"You're my girlfriend. You do whatever I say." He glared at me and kissed me again trying to shove his tongue down my throat.

"Hey, how about you get your hands off of her and leave her alone." I heard a voice and I felt Ben being shoved off of me. I had my eyes closed tight but I opened them to see who had stepped in.

"Alison?" I gasped in disbelief.

"What?" She snapped.

"Nothing, thank you." I said trying to get the taste of Ben out of my mouth.

She looked me deeply in the eyes and I looked away embarrassed.

"Don't thank me. You need to tell me something." She said still looking at me, I still wouldn't meet her gaze.

"What?" I questioned and she tilted my chin up with her finger forcing me to look at her.

"Did Ben did this to you yesterday?" She stared at me and I couldn't lie so I just nodded my head. Anger flashed in her eyes.

"It's not like you care anyways. He loves me and I love him." I spat out after she had removed her finger from my chin.

"Are you that stupid?" She scoffed.

"I can handle this." I crossed my arms. She can't just reject me today and then act like she cares about me. She can't treat me like that.

"Clearly you can't. Now stop being a punk and let me help you." She retorted holding Ben in a headlock.

"You already told me how you felt so why are you doing this?"

It was her turn to look away embarrassed. She didn't reply and instead she shoved Ben on the ground.

"If you ever touch or hurt Emily...or anyone..." She added quickly, "you'll sincerely regret it."

He got up scared and took off.

"Answer the question." I said forcefully. I was tired of chasing her. This was her last chance.

"I can't." She looked at me with a look I couldn't quite explain. It was a mix between anger and hurt.

"Alison, what happened to you?" I wanted so badly to rush to her side and hold her close.

"Now is not the time for that." She had put her wall back up again so I surrendered and got into my car.

"Thanks again." I whispered after I had gotten into the car.
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Alison:
I don't know why I saved Emily like that. Maybe it was because I couldn't stand to see Ben hurting her like that or maybe it was because I wanted her to look at me like I was important. All I knew was that after she left I wish I would've told her that I was falling for her too.

All day today I have lived with regret. My heart hurts from losing Emily. When she talked to me today all I saw was hurt and hate. I freaked when Emily told me how she felt, at first I thought she was just saying it as a joke but today her eyes reflected something the exact opposite.

Now it's too late to tell her that I like her too. Besides, she's chosen to stay with Ben. He's disgusting and he clearly doesn't respect her. I'll be keeping my eye out for him.

"Hey Ali. I haven't seen much of you lately." I heard Mona yell to me as I was waking to Noel's house.

"Are you staying at Noel's?" I inquired.

"Yeah." She winked and I gagged.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." Shoot, where was I going to stay now? My thoughts instantly went to Emily and I decided to give it a try. I pulled out my phone but realized I didn't even have her number. Frustrated and exhausted, I decided to just search for her house instead.
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After about thirty minutes I had found Emily's house and knocked on her door. I waited breathlessly and finally the door opened.

"Hi Alison!" Mrs. Fields pulled me into a hug and opened the door wider for me to come in, "Emily, your friends here!"

"Coming!" I heard Emily tell back and I sat on the couch.

"Hi." I chewed my lip as she came into the living room.

She forced a smile for her mom and said to me, "hey, want to come to my room?"

"Sure!" I replied putting on a show for her mom as well.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed as soon as she had shut her bedroom door.

"Well your mom said I was welcome whenever so..."

"Don't get that attitude with me Alison. It's not going to work." She folded her arms.

"It's just- I don't have a place to stay tonight. Can I stay here?" I admitted ashamed and I looked down at my feet suddenly finding them very interesting.

Her featured softened, "of course."

I looked up quickly, "you really do like me don't you?"

Now she suddenly found her feet very interesting, "just forget that, okay? You've made it very clear where you stand and I'm with Ben and I'm staying with him. That's what you want isn't it?"

I bit my tongue and said the words I really didn't want to say, "yeah." The words tasted bitter in my mouth and Emily rolled her lips into her mouth.

"Right. Well I'm going to change. You can wear the pajamas you wore last night." She said shortly.

Why was I so stupid and selfish?