August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 53- YEET YEET motherfucker

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use.

Damien's P.O.V

-Saturday, November 6th-

I stand in the bathroom doorway and watch him walk back to his room, shutting the door behind him.

I stay in the door for a moment.

I can't believe what I just did.

What the fuck was going through my head...?

I almost...

I could have...

I go back into the bathroom and sit on the side of the tub, my hands beginning to shake.

I was just as bad as his father.

I almost...

Oh God.

My dad dies, then this?

Without Josiah... I have nothing.

I am nothing.

Why the hell am I trying to push him away like this? 

I bury my head in my hands.

I need to get a grip.

I get up and put a hand on each side of my sink, taking myself in the mirror.

I hardly recognize myself.

The dark circles under my eyes have only worsened, my eyes bloodshot and red from crying.

I'm such a fucking mess.

I turn and punch the wall beside the mirror.

My knuckles split on impact, still not being completely healed from hitting Josiah's dad the other day.

I punch a fucking hole in my bathroom wall and I sigh.

I'm so fucking stupid.

I leave my room and go downstairs.

I grab three bottles of whatever I can get my hands on and I climb out onto my roof.

I can't do this.

I open my first bottle, some wine to start my night off right.

I take a drink and it warms me up slightly.

It's fucking cold out here, especially on my bare feet and arms.

But I can't go back in.

The house feels so suffocating, with Josiah so close but so untouchable.

With my mother crying herself to sleep alone in her bedroom.

With my dad buried in a cemetery ten miles from here.

I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that he's gone.

What now?

What's next for me? I just move on? Leave my mother to run the company and live alone?

Or do I stay, and do as I'm told.

And if so, where does that leave Josiah?

Oh, God... Josiah.

What I did tonight rushes into my head again and forces me to drink some more.

I'm so fucking tired.