August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 9- Phone & Glasses shiiiiiiit

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use
of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Damien's P.O.V.
-Wednesday, September 1st-

I wait for Josiah at my motorcycle. I've given him a ride home every night this week. It's out of my way and doesn't make sense for me to do...but half the shit I do anymore doesn't make sense, especially to me.
And especially involving Josiah.
I pull the gift out of my bag, and as soon as he approaches, I hold it out to him.
Then I remember he can't see shit. And I say, "Take this."
"What is it?"
"A phone. So I can text you instead of having to risk tracking you down during the school day." I continue to hold it out to him.
"You got me a phone? Doesn't that cost, like, a lot of money?"
I laugh. "You saw my house...well, you didn't SEE my house, but you get the point. Either way, my parents are loaded and attempt to buy my love with a credit card that has no limit. So take the fucking phone. My arm is getting tired."
"It's funnier to make you hold it out like that."
"I can throw it at your face, if that's funnier."
"Please don't do that. It hurts."
"No fucking way?! Why didn't anyone tell me?! Gimme your bag then and I'll put it in there. We don't have all night."
"Why don't we have all night?"
"I'm assuming you have a curfew."
"Not really. It doesn't matter when or if I come home."
"Well, I'm not studying until four a.m. Take the phone and let's get on with it, then."
I hold it out and he takes it from me hesitantly, stuffing it in his bag.
I like the idea that the only number in his contacts is mine...
I get on the motorcycle and he follows in suit, wrapping his arms around me.
I tense up every time. I wonder if he notices.
When he rests his head against my back...
It makes me feel something. I'm not sure what it is, but it's definitely not okay.
I need to get myself back under control. I need to focus.
I have this mantra playing in the back of my mind when when it comes to anything dealing with Josiah Walker...
He isn't my friend, he's means to an end.
It rhymes, so I don't forget it.
And it seems like every time I see him, I have to remind myself more and more.
I ignore how he's pressed against me and I speed home, I'm sure going faster then he likes.
But I really can't find it in myself to care.
Or at least, I tell myself that.
When we get back to my place, I turn and ask "Would you feel more comfortable if I got you a helmet? I think I have one somewhere in here..." I say looking around the garage.
"Yeah, I-I would... But I also think you should have one."
"Nah. Pass." I say, getting off and hold out my hand to help him. He glances at it then looks away, getting off without my help...
whatever. He's said time and time again that he doesn't like touching/being touched, but for some reason I still offer like every time.
"Are we studying in my room, or like in the living room...or what? How does this work?"
"Doesn't matter. Wherever you want."
"Okay, my room, I guess..."
Is that weird? I feels like it is. More likely it's only weird if i think it is...
I start up the stairs and stop on the second one. "Wait. I don't like you going up these... Let's study in the dining room."
It's actually terrifying, the idea of him fucking falling down the stairs. Horrifying.
"Why? I go up stairs at school all the time."
"I don't like that either."
"Seems like you care, or something."
"Bullshit. I don't give a flying fuck about you. I don't want to have to explain to my parents why there's a dead body staining their nice white rug." I turn around and he follows me into the dining room. I sit my backpack on the table and pull a chair out for him. He sits down, and turns to me.
"...What the hell, by the way? What's actually wrong with you?"
I laugh "What isn't wrong with me. How does this, tutoring thing work."
"I don't know. Why are you making me do this?"
"Cause."
He doesn't like short answers
"Is it because you're a dumb ass who is going to fail otherwise? Then you won't get a high school degree and you'll work fast food or something for the rest of your life?"
"Yep. Exactly that. I wanna go to college and get the fuck out of this city."
"Me, too. But I don't know how to help you. I don't know if you just don't understand things, or if you're not motivated to do anything... I don't really know you."
"Probably both." I admit, getting my textbooks out. "What class do you want to start with?"
"...Chemistry?"
"Sure. what the actual fuck is even going on? Let's start there." I flip open the book, but realize don't even know where we are. I gave up one week in. I hate science.
"What's going on? You mean, like... In the class? Or in chemistry itself? Because there's a lot going on in both."
"Both." I say, hopelessly laying my head on the book in front of me, "Maybe I can sleep on my textbook and then just absorb information like a sponge..."
"I don't think so. That's not how it works. And if you fall asleep, I'll raid your fridge."
"Are you hungry?" He didn't eat lunch today. I sit up, "I can get you something."
Anything to get out of this. I already hate it .
"Yeah, I... You don't have to..."
"You figure out where to start, I'll find you food. What do you like?" I stand, pushing my chair in.
"I don't know. Are you doing this to get out of chemistry? I'm not working with you on this if you won't do it. Don't waste my time."
Shit. I've been caught. "No. I'll work on it. Do you want real food, or like...cereal? I think Pierre eats Captain Crunch. I know we have that."
"Captain Crunch? What's in it?"
"Sugar. It's cereal...you've never had Captain Crunch?" I cross my arms.
"No. Is it...good? Is it something you like?"
"I don't really eat stuff like that, but yeah, it's really good."
"Stuff like that?"
"Yeah, y'know, sugary shit. But I'm sure you would like it." Pretty much everyone likes it.
"Okay. I guess."
I quickly make him a bowl of cereal, and bring it back to him.
"Any luck? Where are we starting?"
"I'm not sure what you do and don't understand, so we're just going to start at the beginning."
"Okay. Here's your food. Let's do this I guess."
I would rather die.